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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear.

I've had about five hours sleep so far. Feeling okay again this morning. Hoping the feeling holds well over the day.

How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad you're feeling OK this morning @Mazarita and also hoping the feeling lasts for you. I'm not sure if it is something that you'd be interested in or want to do, but I have found 1800respect pretty good to talk with before. They have counsellors who are really trauma sensitive and aware from my experience, and I imagine may be pretty helpful with these memories experiences you're having. Just thought I'd mention I have found them helpful myself.

I'm OK enough this morning thanks. I had a really not-good night and feel very tired but head wise am alright. Person moves from hospital to rehab today which is a huge milestone 🙂

Hows the day ahead looking for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the helpline idea, @CheerBear. I rang SANE helpline in my distress on Sunday, first time ever. Only to get a message service that told me it's only open Monday to Friday. Didn't see that info on the page at the time, but just checked and it seems to be there now. Will keep 1800respect in mind. Thanks again.

Good to hear that you are okay head-wise. Hugs for the not-good night. That's great with the move to rehab today for your person. Seems quite quick after surgery. Hopefully there might be some better feelings in your person about the move forwards in recovery that rehab represents.

I think I will be going to visit my friend this afternoon, as long as all holds okay with my mood and state of being today. What do you have planned?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs again @Mazarita. It's hard to make the decision to reach out like that only to have to try again another time. Imagining the extent of your distress to have called for the first time and to have considered lifeline for the first time also.

It is pretty impressive that they're moving on from hospital after open heart surgery only a week and a half ago, plus everything else that has happened in the last weeks. I think it will be great for them to get out of their room and into somewhere more active and supportive beyond what medicine offers.

I hope the visit with your friend is good if you go. Today I have groceries and a very messy and disorganised bedroom of mine to tidy up. I think that's about it for me today. It's a pretty quiet week here which I am enjoying so far 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again, @CheerBear, for getting some of the 'between the lines' stuff that I've been going through over the past couple of days. During this time I've been thinking about you and so many others who have experienced trauma in a big way, understanding more about the experience from this instance in mine. I've known for a very long time that traumatic responses to my childhood experiences have been part of who I am pretty much since year dot, but have had a long time to come to terms with that better at this age now. Sunday's flare up about this particular instance was a big surprise.

So glad to hear you are having a quieter time of it at the moment. I've been enjoying seeing photos in the craft thread of your work, and that of @outlander and others. Amazed at how fast @outlander has picked up the crochet bug.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm really feeling with and for you with this one @Mazarita. Trauma can have such an enormous, complicated and surprising impact. This morning I was thinking that as much as it might be frustrating or surprising (or whatever it may be) to be going through this now after you've had a really tough few months and reached a better place, in a way it may make sense also in that maybe you're in a place where you're able to process it all. I like to believe that our body and brain knows when we can handle things and gives us as only much as we can process, even if it may really not feel it sometimes. That could just be my fuzzy, hopeful idea of it all, but it is one I try and hold on to when I'm going through stormy times with memories.

Thanks 🙂 I really enjoy the crafty corner here and seeing and hearing about all the creations. I love that @outlander has caught the crochet bug too. Seriously cook to watch her work coming along! The kids and I have been getting our Christmas craft on over the last couple of days, which has been fun (and will only increase as 25 December approaches). Middle helped me make a Jack Skellington wreath the other day. Weve never had a wreath on the door and this one is fun and odd (like our family 😆).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a nice way of thinking of it, @CheerBear. I feel I got way too much to deal with at once when I was younger, but my life is so much more livable these days, even with the ups and downs, serious depressions and bad anxiety at times. There are some advantages to getting older, with more resources within ourselves to deal with the difficulties life raises in us.

@outlander's craft skills have moved forward at an amazing pace! So wonderful that you have been able to help her find that gift. What is a 'Jack Skellington' wreath? I could look it up on Google, but too tired and lazy just now.

I think many families are odd!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I very much agree with there being some advantages to getting older and learning and growing through experiences @Mazarita. I look at where I was and how I was dealing (or not) with things 5 and 10 years ago and can see how much more sensible (for want of a better word) I am now

Jack is a character from a nightmare before christmas. He's creepy so our wreath is black and white with no traditional christmas bells or flowers or red, green and gold. Now I want to do a whole tree in the theme haha 😁

Also agreeing that many families are odd. All of our differences make the world such an interesting place 😊

I hear little feet so I better head out and do the morning thing. Nice to bump into you again this morning. Big hugs and hope the day ahead has some calm and peace for you ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like the sound of your somewhat subversive xmas wreath, @CheerBear, also really like that movie. Always lovely to chat in the mornings. Hope your day is peaceful and rewarding in some ways.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Good morning Mazzy 😄 wishing you a wonderful Tuesday. Full of calmness and love my fabulous Mazzy. Love greenpea xxxx

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