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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Trying to get my courage up to talk to sil's Mum about being too anxious to look after her old cat when bro sil and her go overseas for a month next year. I'm ok with one house and one dog to look after - I did it once for 10 days and I know him really well, but 2 houses and the cat as well is too much for me. Can't work out how to tell her as I know it's really letting her down. At dinner last night she talked about him hiding from her for 24 hours and having him to the vet for the 2nd time in a month and I still couldn't tell her how I feel about it. I know I need to speak up but can't muster the words.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mm thats tricky @eth
Maybe when you talk to her and let her know you cant perhaps to make it a little less tense you could reccommend someone else to care for her cat?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't know anyone else @outlander Plus I know the boarding place would cost a fortune for a whole month, and bro says he's too old to go there. Talked with bro about it twice now but I don't think he's told her for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope the dentist goes well tomorrow @outlander and that your Dad is ok while you're out.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh bugger maybe others will have some ideas too
I really hope that maybe bro will talk to her for you then @eth
I know i get really anxious telling people i cant do something too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pops coming with me @eth i really dont like the area i have to go to so he said he would come with me

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Luck with hospital trip. @outlanderGlad your teeth are getting looked at.

@Mazarita Loved the dreamy owl ...

@eth It is streeful when it is a big ask. I hope bro helps get it sorted. So animals and people (YOU) are cared for adequately. Maybe they need to adjust expectations.

@PeppiPatty Hello gorgeous. Have not seen you for ages. Have fun at Fremantle .... der ... about cleaning

@Bunniekins So glad your boy could settle himself. You have a lot going on. Take Care

I dropped son at work and have Gp today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I remember when my mum and dad went away they had someone move into the house to look after the two cats and house. The person was a lovely man who loved animals and it all worked out fine but that was one house and the two cats got used to him because he was living with them. You will just have to be honest with her. You are definitely not letting her down you are being responsible to her and her cat.xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @Bunniekins, @outlander, @PeppiPatty, @Appleblossom, and everyone,

I got caught up having a ranty outburst on another thread this morning, missing the chance to chat here. I'm about to be collected by my close friend for a visit today. But before I go, just wanted to say hi, good to see you, and hope to find some time to catch up more later today. Hope today is a good one for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone 🙂

Missed you this morning @Mazarita. I was awake but in bed with a very snuggly cat. Loved reading about the stillness and quiet you experienced during the night/early morning. I have been sleeping a little better/longer though lack of sleep is still causing me some problems. My GP has given me a medication which knocked me out last night. Its definitely a short term med and I won't use it often but it is good to have it there when I need.

Hi @eth and thanks for the tag earlier. Great to read about all your adventures. Sorry to hear you're a bit stuck with the cat issue. It's hard to feel like we're letting people down.

@outlander I have been wondering whether you've been crocheting lately? Wishing you the best with tomorrow. My wisdom teeth gave me trouble at around your age also. Not fun at all.

Hi to everyone else 👋

I've been reading along here and there but having a little trouble keeping up again. I'm falling into a bit of a rut with a difficult to shake, sinking feeling of ugh-ness and "too much". I have come to realise how much I value my space and need alone time, as I've had little of either over the last six weeks. I find I am retreating inside myself quite often and don't want that to turn into something bigger, so I am posting here today hoping that staying connected a little will help avoid that. I've also been playing with my hair while doing some house jobs this morning, trying to change it into something colourful and out there with the hope it brings some fun and brightness back. Crossing fingers it doesn't fall out with all the bleach I have happening (slowly and carefully has never been a strong point of mine) 😉🤞

Hope the afternoon is treating everyone well ❤
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