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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Fingers crossed here too for your cold going before your holiday, @eth. Wonderful to hear you are getting excited about it. I don't think I'll be travelling for some months. I want to wait to find out if we have another lease here before I go to visit mum down south again. Won't know that until the end of the year, so looking more like sometime in the first part of next year. Already I feel phobic about flying. To the point that I even looked up train travel to Melbourne from here. But it's more expensive and also terribly long and gruelling so I will probably fly despite the fear. Honestly, I don't feel like travelling at all at this time in my life, enjoy living locally and that's it. But I have to see mum. I wish she was closer!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I understand the phobia @Mazarita. For me it's not the actual time on the plane, but fear of getting lost or dissociating in panic in transit in airports. And fear of catching taxis alone if no-one's there to meet me. I've booked a meet and assist with Qantas for the transit in Brisbane both ways, but am having anxiety about whether they'll turn up, whether my flight from here will get there on time so I can get to the plane to Darwin on time ...... all the 'what if's. Doing my best to put them to rest with CBT and planning.

You might find bus travel is a lot faster than train @Mazarita - possibly worth looking into for your trip to Melbourne. Fancy the train costing more than the plane - that's pretty outrageous.

I'll go water the garden shortly. Hoping your day goes smoothly and you make it to your art group. Maybe you'll come home from that feeling better than after last time with the Dr.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. Yes, the bus is an option. But it might take about two to three full days of travel to get there. I would need to stop somewhere and book into accommodation to get some proper rest in between. Which would make it more expensive than flying, even if the bus fare is cheaper. C'est la vie. Yay for the plants being watered and growing strong. Best wishes for your last group session today. Thanks for the morning chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Catch you later no doubt @Mazarita. Take care x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm back from my whirl-wind trip to the Center of my Universe, where the everyday pace is that of a cyclonic tornado! I was going to stay another day, try and set up an appointment with my Daughter and I - but they got called into work and my brain seized the opportunity to escape! I'll see what I can do from my end, here at home, but I imagine I may have to return before too long 😉 My poor child had a tooth 'cap' fall off the night before I left, and it did just look like the tooth was missing, they were devastated! They took time off work and made a dentist appointment first thing in the morning, . . . just to discover the partner had accidentally taken their cars keys with them!! It was just too much, but I think my child managed very well in the situation; they shed some silent tears though, and in that silence it was like you could see the scream of overwhelming stress and sorrow 😞 My eldest grandgirl did pretty well managing stress too, she was all ready to go to work (at a take-away store, she's also finishing senior school years) - but she knew to contact her supervisor by phone and explain the situation . . . all of Rome was felled by a very small piece of metal and plastic - it was the modern day straw that broke the camels back. I discovered that I can dismantle the roof-rack bedroom in about 10 minutes and handed her the keys to my car; so my child did get her tooth, though they need a more permanent solution; the eldest grandgirl, after re-contacting her workplace even did end up getting to her shift. So all in all that problem didn't turn out the worst possible way, but it was just one of many, everyday stresses in a house full of 5 children, 4 of which are at school the 2 eldest also work at a take-away, the 3 eldest have to be driven a couple of hours every fortnight to 'visit' their paternal Father, and the youngest grandbaby who isn't even at school yet, always has to have appropriate supervision . . . then there's both Parents and a set of Grandparents, that all work - it's a roster nightmare and a taxi-mayhem!! I don't know how she does it and I know I can't, though the youngest grandbaby did survive a day with Bush Nanny being the only adult supervision in the house 😄 . . . on the 2nd Grandgirls birthday! with 2 friends visiting :)! It was a big day for Bush Nanny I can tell you !!:D The pace the Center of my Universe moves at is another World from where I've directed mine, I need to retreat to my peaceful bubble - where I have chosen to direct my life and do what I can to help from here. A car is very important to the center right now, as my childs partner is using a 'borrowed' one - it has to be returned eventually.

My roof-rack bedroom was a success, though it could do with a few tweaks 🙂 But it didn't collapse 😄 I did sleep 🙂 It wasn't horribly uncomfortable {but I think a more solid base than the security screens would be less saggy} 😄 I might start looking for a slighty different ladder to the step one I have, it's a bit hard on old legs stepping from on the handle of the step ladder, onto the cab-roof to get in 😉 And it's actually much more comfortable sleeping without the young fella with me - there's just no way I could get him up there! 😄 so he gets the inside of the canopy 🙂 I must remember to take the little fellas harness, though I'm pleased to say the rack-tent was tucked in well enough that he {or I!:D} didn't fall out of bed the whole stay 😄 I've also got thoughts of a hanging basket/tray, sort of bedside table/storage area - and one for a water bottle also. I did get to play with my hobby of camping a little bit, though it meant blasting pumpkin hour out of the water 😄

But it's good to be home, where several TV's aren't going at once, or music, TV's and computer games all at once. Or several conversations all happening at once - my brain just frizzles when that happens! Where I can just stop and sit and listen to the wind . . . I'm not even hearing highway traffic noises at the moment . . . there's a couple of pretty bird songs and the little melodies chatters of some bugs. There's a definate gentle wind today, it's blowing harder than a breeze; the sun is out, it's warm is wonderful, yet the gentle wind eases what could be hot. Quite a stunning day today 😄 Think I'll go out and look at it

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I thought @Shaz51, my sister in Scottish ancestry, might especially appreciate this part of my day, I did my scottish sister @Mazarita, how wonderful and amazing

You had a busy day , how are you today xx

I have some kidney pain today -- ouch , but it was wonderful reading about your adventures , I was looking for one of my ancestors , I had the name and the place , so I looked it up and I found her and her parents they were married in 1760, then i looked up how many children they had -- 14 and my ancestor was the 14th child -- wow

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51, it's getting on to 12.30am as I'm starting to write this. It's been a very big day by my standards! Sorry you had some kidney pain earlier. Hopefully you will feel better when you wake up and read this in the morning. Great to hear about your family history discoveries.

Hi @Former-Member, Niqua, you have survived another whirlind visit to the centre of your universe. I loved reading the contrast between your daughter's big family and the noise and complexities, with the simple peace of your home, with its subtle natural sounds. Good on you for juggling children as Bush Nanny. Glad to hear about your camping inventions. The day sounded fantastic where you are.

Today I was up before light, showered, got myself to hospital for 9.45am specialist appointment. Didn't have any nasty examinations. The gastro was much more personable than ever before, and I liked him. He has sent off the paperwork for me to have a day procedure, involving light sedation, soon, but I don't yet know when. After that in transit, foot and bus to art group. After that walk to friend's place and help her with cleaning for her rental inspection tomorrow. Did that on and off until about 9pm. Home, watched an episode of Reign. Eating in between. Much more physical exercise than usual and a marathon day away from home. A fair bit of social bumping into people I know a little on the street. An enjoyable day.

Hi @eth, @Appleblossom, @CheerBear, @everyone, hope you are all sleeping peacefully as I write this.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so lovely to see some good things coming together for you @Mazarita. I smiled as I read your post. Just popping in to say hi and congrats on some huge achievements lately. Think I might need to lift my game a bit 😁
Hugs 💜🤗💐

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej, thanks, and hugs in return. Hope today has been okay with you. I'm around to chat here for a bit if you feel like it. No worries if not though. It is late.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just a quick one @Mazarita 😊. My friend just Skype me from overseas so I'm a bit hyped. It was good to catch up though. She gave me a walking tour of the city she was in (Europe). I didn't get to sleep until 7:00 am this morning so my sleep is out of whack anyway :face_with_rolling_eyes:
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