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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think it would have been good for them to have a little space, then good for them to have the hugs too @Mazarita. Sometimes I wonder whether our circus house, with all the busy and the bananas that happens, is adding a bit of chaos to their tricky time. Last night they said something that made me think they're really appreciating living in the circus at the moment ❤

Good to hear it isn't a wait around all day one for you. How are you feeling about it this morning? Ours are usually only 5 or 10 minutes which is good. Hope yours is over quickly also.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In my book, hugs are always good, @CheerBear.

I'm feeling surprisingly unstressed by the flat inspection this morning. The least anxious I've been about these things for many years. Ours too are usually over in five to ten minutes, and I've become accustomed to the agent/manager now and we often have friendly chat. At first I didn't like her much, and she had a habit of sending out instructional emails to us all for some years after she took over the job. These included tips on cleaning our units, lol. As you might imagine, this didn't make me feel less stressed about meeting her standards. But she's eased off a lot over the past year, probably not as bright eyed and bushy tailed about it after some years in the job. And, since we now have another year long lease starting January next year, and are probably among the most long term and relatively secure residents in this building, I'm just not as bothered as I once was.

What do you have planned for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great that you're still feeling unstressed about the inspection @Mazarita. It definitely helps when you can have a friendly chat with the agent. I also think it really helps to be a secure and long term tenant too. It seems to shift the power imbalance just a little I find. Our agent spent more time in the garden talking about the trees and plants than in the house looking at it 🙂

Today is part of an extra long weekend so we're all home today. I dont have any real plans aside from going home as we're still out, and probably some jobs around the house. I'm working on a blanket at the moment and had some momentum happening with it yesterday so I might pick that up at some stage today too.

Any post inspection plans for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you are finding some time for crochet during this turbulent period, @CheerBear. I know that is good for you, and imagine your heart rate slowing and breath along with it. A great way to be mindful and calm the nerves.

Later today I have a psychologist appointment, then immediately afterwards an annual eye test. My GP recommended a great optometrist last year and the check is for eye health. I won't be getting new glasses even if my eyesight has changed. Too expensive to do it every year and my current ones are functional enough.

Also want to go to the chemist while I'm in that particular shopping village. I have some kind of sore on the side of my mouth, kind of like a cold sore, but not sure it's that. Want to speak to them about whether they know what it is, and can recommend treatment without me having to have yet another visit to the GP.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @outlander.

Feeling you under the 'support' button. How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was happy to find myself with my hooks and yarn this weekend also @Mazarita. Definitely something that helps 🙂

I was thinking you'd have a quiet afternoon planned after yesterday and this morning but it sounds busy. I am at a similar point with my glasses where I could probably use new ones but can't afford them so these will do for a while longer. Hope your psych appointment is as helpful as they usually are for you and you can find something for your sore.

Morning to you @outlander, who I see is up also ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear. I've started on the remaining cleaning tasks between posts. Will probably just chat here with anyone around, and keep doing that, until I have to get washed and dressed for the inspection.

Yes, another busy day by my standards today. But there will be time to chill before I have to head out to appointments. I might watch some Frasier at 11am. That often gives me a laugh.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope the last minute tasks are finished without too much effort for you @Mazarita.

I can hear feet which means my day will probably be starting soon also. I am writing a post (a typical CB novel probably 😆😉) about my walk around the garden yesterday which I'll probably finish up before heading off. My pondering while I was flower watching brought up lots of feelings. It is funny how little things like flowers can evoke strong memories and feelings.

If I dont catch you again before you head out, I hope it all goes well for you today ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Almost finished the cleaning tasks here, @CheerBear. Easier than expected. Will get a bit of chill time before 8am very soon.

Look forward to reading your garden tale from yesterday. Best wishes for the remains of the day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear and anyone else around here this morning.

Another home day for me today, maybe a couple of chores and a stint on the ex bike at some stage. Having a slow start.

Maz hope your inspection goes/went really well.

Have a good day everyone. I'll be around for a while if anyone wants to chat.

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