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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita 🙂 I'm still in bed listening to the early birds though I'm about to get up and head for the kettle. Wish I knew what type of bird it is that's singing un the distance every morning here as it sounds amazing!

How was your night last night?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I feel the same about the earliest morning bird here that I often hear. It has a lovely, somewhat melancholy sound. Wouldn't it be something if we were hearing the same bird?

Last night was a really good one here. C gave me a massage in the early evening, how lucky I felt! I then made us both cheese and tomato toasties for dinner (me making dinner of any kind is a fairly rare event here). We had especially nice chat and fun banter over the course of the evening. I also watched two episodes of an SBS show I love, 'Harlots'. It's an historical drama (a genre I love), all about women struggling to survive the disadvantages and disempowerment of 19th century England. Fantastic script, acting and direction. Looking forward to more next week.

How was your evening?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds like a fabulous night @Mazarita (especially the massage part 😁). Do you and C chat very much/often?

My evening was OK enough thanks. I was a bit tired and emotional last night so I went to my room early-ish, leaving well person to wait for my Aunty (their sister) to arrive. I watched YouTube random things in bed, cuddled with my cats and enjoyed some quiet alone time 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, massage is just about my favourite thing!

C and I do chat, but it's often in very small bursts while we're doing other things, like being on the computer, which we both do a lot of! Long conversations are not something we do that much of. Mostly I guess we enjoy just being in each other's company. This flat is small so when we are both here together we are almost always in close proximity, mostly just in this one main room. We have a very harmonious friendship these days and it's almost always reassuring to be in his company.

Quiet time alone (with cuddly cats) sounds like a good thing at an intense time. I'm guessing your aunty is there now? How long since she and well one have seen each other?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so nice to hear of yours and C's relationship @Mazarita. It seems like you've both found such a nice balance of independence and togetherness. I think it's the kind of long term relationship I might enjoy/find myself in one day too.

Aunty is here in what is now the spare room. We changed the playroom around and put a single bed in it as we've had quite a few people here on and off over the last weeks. She came to visit only a month or so ago when unwell one was having radiation therapy. She made the decision to come down this time when it looked like they weren't going to last much longer at all. Now they're (hopefully) having surgery soon, her visit might be more about giving unwell one some extra company and well one some extra support 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping the surgery goes well for unwell one, @CheerBear. Will it give them more likelihood of recovery and returning home?

Will it be a busy day for you? I have no solid plans, but hoping C and I will go and see our friend as part of it. I also want to have a shower. Other than that, we'll see what happens as it flows into the day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. Surgery will hopefully give them some time but it won't be a cure, which was a big blow. They were given an estimate of maybe a year extra, though it's hard to guess (thankfully I think). They'd like to sell and move so well one will find it all easier, as well as spend quality time with us all. Day by day I think 🙂

Today should be OK and not so busy for me. I probably should go in to the hospital with the kids and may get there, but otherwise I dont have any plans.

Would that be your friend who moved not long ago? Do C and her enjoy each others company also?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, an extra year does sound like it would be worth going through surgery, despite there not being a possibility of total cure. The chance to settle well one and spend quality time with loved ones seems like it would be a very good thing. Wishing you all so well with it all.

Glad to hear your day won't be too busy as any relaxation and slowing down time you can get during this period seems like it would be very helpful to you.

C and our friend have been friends even longer than I've known either of them, 20 years or more. I actually met them both on the same day, shortly after I arrived in Queensland 16 years ago. It was a fateful day for me, though I didn't know it at the time! I warmed to them both instantly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita, for your kind support always ❤

That's a cool story, to have met both C and friend on the same day not long after you moved. Great to hear you're all close. It makes things much easier when companions and friends get along also. I think you and I may have swapped locations with each other at around the same time 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's an interesting synchronicity with changing places at around the same time, @CheerBear. C and I worked out once that I visited the place he grew up when we were both children. The cousins I visited at that time lived in the next street to his family home. It's interesting to me the way life paths can connect sometimes, without us even knowing it.

I've been up for almost two hours now and only had about three hours sleep before then, so I'll sign off now to get some more shut-eye. Thanks for another lovely early morning meeting. Peaceful feelings, and hopefully some laughs or smiles to you today.

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