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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 @Mazarita @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom

@Former-Member @Adge @Former-Member @Shaz51 @BlueBay @eudemonism and all

I still have not been accepted for rental house, I saw 11 houses just this week and nothing, I'm trying to stay positive but because I have 2 dogs and a cat, landlords just don't want to know. My motivation is rock bottom and my 24 & 25yr old sons aren't helping to find one and my lease runs out end of November.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Miss you greenpea. Anyone know how to suspend the sane forums for a couple of weeks while you are on holiday?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Miss you greenpea. Anyone know how to suspend the sane forums for a couple of weeks while you are on holiday?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @saturnzoon So sorry to hear that you're still having such a hard time with housing. It really, really sucks.

Around a year ago (and this time the year before that) I had big housing issues also. It was so stressful. I found it so disheartening to attend inspections with so many others and know we had such little chance. The knock backs were crushing.

Do you have any support through or with a housing organisation?

Feeling for you 🙁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Dadcaringalone, if you are wanting to suspend for a couple of weeks, this can be done by forwarding an email to team@saneforums.org.au I will then flag it for the team to address on Monday.
Thanks Wenna

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon I cannot imagine the stress you are under. Do you have a family member that you can stay with for awhile if worse comes to worse and your lease runs out before you find another place? Maybe the dogs could stay at a kennel for a couple of weeks and the cat with you .... just trying to think of alternatives for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time getting a rental property.

Yes, they are very fussy (anti) about pets.

I managed it okay years ago, because they would accept my birds (but not cats or dogs).

I hope you find a place soon.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon I'd be looking for a back up option. Emergency housing type of thing through the housing department. Have you advertised online? Or in shop windows? Are you picky about areas and house/yard specifications you're looking for?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon, adding another voice of support for the difficulty you have been facing finding a new place to live. Is it possible to renew the lease for another six months while you continue the search? Alternatively, you might consider speaking to the agent or owner about whether they will allow you to stay on month-by-month without a lease after this one runs out, until you find a new place. Wishing you the best.

Hi @outlander, thinking of you in your difficulties at the moment. Thank you for the lovely flowers you posted here earlier. Hugs.

Hi @Dadcaringalone, it seems quite crazy to me that my little post that just thanked you and wished a good afternoon was moderated. I also didn't receive an email explaining why, which has always been part of the moderation process in all the years I've been on the forum. I've written an email to the moderators and community managers about this. Funny that your later post, which quotes mine in entirety, was not moderated. Go figure! Anyway, still haven't read the articles you mentioned yet but look forward to doing that sometime tomorrow. Thanks again. I love the Star Trek images and agree with @Bunniekins that your presence has been a great addition to the forum. I hope you enjoy your break to the max, and hope to see you when you need a place to discuss things again. Best to you!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear. Looks like we've both arrived at the forum at the same time this early morning. The earliest bird has just started sounding here at the same time as the rain has just started falling.

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