FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

1,431 - 1,440 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, really great news with the night out! Sounds really enjoyable, even if there were nerves involved. Good on you for deciding to go after all. It sounds a bit like how I feel when I go to the poetry nights, very nervous but also exhilarated by being able to participate. I often need recovery time afterwards though! Really glad to hear bro and sil are being so supportive and that you are all in it together in a way. Good idea on taking some slow time to think about what to do next.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great news with your novel, @PeppiPatty

Hello @eth, @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi scottish sister, @Shaz51. How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 hope you have a good day today.

Thanks for the positive vibe @Mazarita. Today I'm just researching and hope to do some more writing this afternoon. ATM watching a podcast about female icons and godesses being written out of history. It's called The Hidden Female Rebels and Shamans and is reminding me of times spent in my 20s researching the topic with my old mate Maggie.

What are you both up to today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How are you my scottish sister @Mazarita

we went for a bushwalk this morning , no dragonflies to photo , ony lots of marshflies -- ouch

got home at 10am and then had eggs on toast -- big mistake , my stomach feels a bit yukky now but apart from that I rang up mum and had a chat , cup of tea might be nice now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51, cool that you went for a bushwalk, ouch to the marshflies. I'm okay today. About to vote in the marriage equality ballot.

@eth, another interesting subject to be researching. Part of my study decades ago was about how female artists had been overlooked in history. I have nothing planned today, going with the flow.

Back soon, after I've voted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

after our walk this morning , I think relaxing might be good xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, another interesting subject to be researching., I did some writting years ago , I will have to find it again and read it

See you soon @Mazarita, I have to wait for it in the mail

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I love hearing about your daughter's wonderful independence.

It is terrible that her issues were due to a doctor's mistake, but she battled on regardless.

Good on her and YOU.

Some comments do rattle around in our brains for decades. I guess we are so vulnerable and unguarded after surgery (or childbirth) so they penetrate deeply. For me it was after the birth of first child that I was cut to the core and told off for having given up smoking but too late!! Lying on the bed with innards a mess!@Mazarita It helps me to know that I am not the only one who had to deal with stuff like that. As we reflect now maybe we can reduce the sting of those comments and put them in perspective. A doctor having a bad day.

I might look at Reign some time. I watched tv series for a few months and then got bored. Have either you or @Shaz51 seen Outlander?

@PeppiPatty I am looking at my personality in a different light these days. Good on you for writing. I will get there.

One change I have made is that I am no longer teaching and so am discovering the wonder of having a home and music for me. It is weird. I am nearly 60 and they are new feelings and experiences.

Sorry Mr G is struggling, but you have been loyal and a trooper. Look forward to hearing about self care. I find it difficult to do but am learning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Appleblossom, I have seen @outlander and have spoken to her

1,431 - 1,440 of 27,230