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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Really glad you're being included and feeling part of it all @eth. So great that you are able to see them all soon. I can imagine that it will be a very special trip.

Also glad to hear you had a peaceful afternoon. That stuff around yesterday would have been very frustrating and I can understand why that would have caused anxiety for you. Lots of grrr.

Today has stayed off with lots of quiet pondering and reflecting. It's a beautiful morning. Sunny, warm and still.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Beautiful morning here too @CheerBear Nice to hear you've had some reflection time to start your day. When my child was little I used to get up a couple of hours earlier too. The day is so much easier when you get that bit of space at the start, before the 'have to's kick in.

All I have on today so far is domestics and finishing my packing. I've been chucking things in a pile for a couple of days so that shouldn't be too hard. Quite looking forward to the road trip with sil's mum, but at the same time not sure how sharing a motel room will go. I live in interesting times!

Hoping your unwell one is stabilizing and improving by now and that your other person is coping ok with it all. I think you're amazing doing all that you do and caring for kiddles at the same time.

What do you have on today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love the peace of the mornings @eth 🙂

Very exciting getting close to your trip. I would be full of nerves and butterflies on top of the excitement I think.

Thanks for your thoughts with unwell one. We found out during the week that they aren't getting better from this. We're now coming to terms with what that means, how much time may be left with them and how we might be able to spend that. It's been a very hard time and is taking up a lot of headspace.

My plan today includes tidying up so well one has a bit more space here as it seems they may be staying for longer than expected. I also want to make and prepare as many dinners as I can for the week so neither of us have to think about that, especially given how unpredictable the days are at the moment. I'd really like to get into the garden to have some quiet time at some stage today too. This vegetable garden is lots of work but my soul feels good when I do it.

Good luck with your packing today. I really hope the time you have with your family is great ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear sorry to hear that the news is not good with your unwell one.

Cooking in advance sounds like a really good idea. Take some shortcuts where you can. e.g. Roast chook from the supermarket can go a long way. Spag bol is another one easy to stretch and easy to make. I'm sure you have your regular dishes you make but Jamie Oliver's 15 minute meals on YouTube might be worth checking out too.

Hoping your plans come to fruition too. And gardening is self-care in my book - so double benefits.

Take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth ❤ In our house at the moment we have vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten and soy free, and a possible dairy sensitivity. The joy of it all... 😉😕 I will check out and google 15 minute meals though. That's a great idea and surely I can find something. We were given a little freezer from a neighbour a while ago too. Might be a good time to get that up and going 👍

Better get a move on. It was really nice catching you this morning before you head off on your adventure. Enjoy those deliciously squeaky smooshy newbie cuddles and the fun of a preschooler too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lots of foods to substitute there then @CheerBear. I'm mostly vego (eat lean meats rarely at social occasions) so can help with ideas if you want. Lentil bolognese with non-wheat spaghetti? Rice gratin with veg and sunflower seeds (omit the cheese or use lactose-free cheese instead)? some sort of veggie burgers (or salmon patties) with salad?

Very much looking forward also to seeing my 4 1/2 yo - on the phone she talked more about halloween than her new sibling! Have put together a goodie bag for them all including some low fodmap dairy-free treats for adult child, activity books and a music tuition book and a spider head band for granddaughter. Already sent them a package of things for the new baby. Plus it's my adult child's 30th birthday the week after so I got a nice card but will probably just give them some cash for whatever they want rather than a present.

Have a lovely, peaceful and fruitful day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, here now if you feel like a bit of chat. Otherwise wishing the greatest time seeing your new grandbaby and the rest of your family. Hope the road trip with sil's mother is enjoyable too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita how are you doing today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, not great today, to be honest. I've gone from high anxiety to depression at the moment. The weather has been rainy pretty constantly here lately, with some storms too, and same forecast for this week. Getting out of the flat and walking would probably pick up my spirits. Might go and visit friend this afternoon, need prescription items as well, so at least there'll be a car trip with C most likely.

How are you feeling just now? What time are you leaving today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear you're feeling depressed @Mazarita. Hopefully getting out with C will pick you up a bit.

I'm just cruizing now - finished my prep for being away a little while ago. Just hanging around now. Leaving tomorrow morning.

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