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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @Exoplanet 👋

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hello @Teej 😄 What a wonderful surprise to 'bump' into you in real time

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @eth @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Teej @sarurnzoon and all passing through

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good to hear you got some rain @Exoplanet. I’m dreading summer here. My dog would love your forest walks. I have been very blessed that he doesn’t go but your staff sounds like so much fun. I also love watching athletic dogs exercise, they look so magnificent. I never walk mine on lead because I haven’t trained him well enough and I always think he needs that freedom to just run. He trained himself to heel. I just noticed one day as we were coming up to cross a road he’d go behind my heel and now does it on command. Pretty lucky with that but he has his not so good things too.

Morning @outlander. I 'see' you too. What are your plans for today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @Exoplanet ❤ Love your reply to Mazarita. You have such a big heart and a beautiful way of seeing things. Had a little chuckle at the idea of staffy getting a bit of what he did for not coming when called. Sometimes I look at my kids and think (and say) the same kind of stuff when they too learn the harder way. Hope you enjoy your walk if you go.

@Teej big hugs. That dream sounds yuck. I dont like the lingering feelings that unsettling dreams can cause. I read what you have on today thinking "yep, nope". The garden and some pottering sounds way nicer. Those struggles are tough and I feel the feels of not wanting to do it that you might be feeling. You're a great friend 💛 Hope it goes OK enough for you. Thanks for your understanding also. Controlled(ish) volcanic eruption of emotions does help. I'm working on releasing the pressure more often and in little bits so it doesn't get to that, but it's a loooong work in progress (I'm thinking you might get that)!

Morning @outlander 👋 Hope today is OK for you too 💙

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

No plans here as yet but can change quickly @Teej ive been crochetting this morning and might start my studies today since i got tafe all sorted yesterday. Hugs for the vivid dreams, i get those sometimes and wake up in that strange headspace too. I hope todays okish or at least has some good moments for you. 💜


@CheerBear that pic is so pretty, its rather cold and gloomy weather here but it looks lovely where you are. Sorry about your meltdown, they happen, sometimes those emotions need a release somehow even if they are messy. I hope unwell one is ok too. 🌈
I cant remember if i read your plans for today?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Teej- I do not envy you the task of hosting a 21st! In fact I think AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!
That mask you speak of, I call it 'the blur', sometimes it's bit of a blessing - I may not be able to 'take in' the good things, but I can't think of bad things either . . . it's all a blur. At times I think it's the only way I can get through some things. I think the problem is there's a massive process afterwards.
Try to be gentle on yourself today. If it were me, I'd try every hour, to go to a quiet spot on my own for 5-10 minutes {because for me it would be for a smoke} & just stop regularly for a bit. Maybe try to remember your helping your friend host the party, it's not all on you
I used to have horrific dreams involving babies & dogs of all things, I'd say it had to do with there innocents & helplessness. Perhaps, although every brain is different, mine
was trying to process the helplessness of an innocent victim.
Good luck for today & may the jewels of you crown shine brightly

@CheerBear- Thinking of you at this difficult time

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Exoplanet we had a staffy and she use to have that smile too, she also use to have a hyper mode and run around the backyard like crazy and if we had clothes of the line she would jump and try to take those off the line then when she got one that item would often go for a run with her. There was a time she took us for a run too, she really didnt listen and she escaped one of our grasps during a walk, that wasnt fun 😑😑

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hello beautiful @outlander

Gotta love Staffies because they just love . . . full stop! They love you, they love life, they love running, jumping, playing . . . they love everything 🙂

So . . . . sending you giant Staffy love

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

She was cute and loveable but she turned aggressive around feeding times and towards our other smaller dog. We think it may have been a jealousy thing so we had to move her on our other one had a similar personality but without aggression pity they age 😞 @Exoplanet we have a chihuahua now shes 3 nearly 4
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