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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Evening @Bunniekins @Mazarita @eth @Exoplanet @outlander @Former-Member

@Mazarita, I get like you leaving my house, with my social anxiety I have not been able to get public transport I get panick attacks, i keep trying every now and then to get to the shops just a 10minute walk, so far I've made it up to the top of the street. I hope they manage to get your piece for the tree in time you have been ,looking forward to that for a while now.For all us stressful

For all who pass here hugs all round

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Evening to you too @saturnzoon
I hope today was ok for you and tomorrow has some good moments xox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning everyone

Big hugs for you for yesterday @Mazarita. Totally understandable that you had a crack day with all that there is on for you and those deadlines and dates that have to be met. I hope the mini rest and reset helped you and that your appointment today feels good.

I had a very teary meltdown last night which had me stuck in a ball in the car for way longer than I'd liked to have been. It sounds a bit like your paralysed with nerves feelings maybe. I can run for a while with stress, anxiety, sads etc. but they build up and it often gets to a point where my big feelings completely take over and insist on being listened to (which for me looks like giant ugly messy tears usually). I should have called it earlier and gone to bed sooner than I did, which is what it sounds like you did, but I got there eventually.

I've woken this morning after a good sleep feeling a little better and am hoping you the same kinds of feelings are with you this morning too.

Sending ❤ to all and hoping the day ahead has feel goods in it

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning, @CheerBear

I've been up early doing some prep work on the video. Feeling okay at the moment. Who knows what mood states the day will bring (they've been rather variable of late!), but for now I'm enjoying the calm.

So great you had a good sleep after an emotional night. Thanks for your understanding of my yesterday too.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

So good to hear you're feeling OK and that you have some calm this morning @Mazarita 😊

Sending you a piece of my calm this morning too

Sun shining, blue sky and the apricot tree where I've sat having lots of forum coffees, often in the early mornings. Right now it is full of tiny baby apricots. When they ripen we will have enough that I think people walking by will stop and ask to take a bag as they did last year. It's one of the trees that the little bouncy birds love too.

❤

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Woops, missed that last message because of the no-notification with images problem, @CheerBear.

Looking forward to seeing the image when it goes through moderation.

Baby apricots sound very cheerful in the morning, not to mention delicious. How lovely that you share them with passersby. Those bouncy birds you get are a happy presence to read about in the early part of the day for me too.

Heading back for some more shut-eye. Thanks for the little chat this morning. Hugs and blessings to you today.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @Bunniekins @outlander @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @Exoplanet and anyone else around today. Thanks for the tags.

Sending big love to you @Mazarita for your nerves to settle and your positive creative impetus to kick in. Hope your knitting makes it into the display but if not remember that it's the doing of it, the mindfulness of it, that really has it's benefits for you. Having a self day yesterday was no doubt really good for you. I totally know the feeling of being frozen because of extra high nerves and anxiety. Hoping today is better for you.

@CheerBear I love your picture you posted. Maybe you can make some yummy jam with some of your apricot harvest. It's a great way to use surplus produce. So far this year bro has made lillipilly and lemonade jams and sil has made cumquats in syrup which she then put into the most amazing baked cheesecake with a chocolate base. OTT!!!

@Dadcaringalone I really hope things have started to sort out re your son. That either you at least know where he is, or have managed to get him (and you) some help.

Hoping everyone has had a peaceful start to the day and that it improves steadily for you all.

I'm heading out again shortly for the 4th time this week. Off to another denture appointment. Will be here again later and try to catch up with people then.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @eth. The food you all eat, make and grow sounds amazing! Maybe this year I'll make some jam. I wanted to last year but they all ripened right on Christmas time and it was too hectic. We have peach, nectarine, plum, quince, lemon and loquat trees (the loquat is a baby and hasn't had any fruit yet). Now I know what grows and when, I should be able to do more with it.

Hope your appointment goes well today.

We're in a waiting place here after a call to say things took a bit of a turn for unwell one overnight and this morning and they've been taken into surgery. Really hoping it is nothing too serious or too much of a setback and very thankful for a good sleep last night - think it's going to be a long wonky day today.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Mazy @Mazarita - I'm imagining you may have expected some cracks & that you've experienced many throughout your lifetime. I wonder whether your brain was working out some priorities in the background; it got the knitting finished, which is Woo Hoo by the way! But with all the deadlines coming up it decided to give the video top spot. To do that it had to lower the priority of delivering that knitting & re-think about supporting everyone involved in that project. Try not to let that diminish that fact that you completed that task, you provided the time & skills necessary for important materials in that project. All despite the fact that the video project had begun before the knitting
project was finished. Whilst you were finishing off the knitting your brain was already starting to process all the information from the video. I think your self-awareness is a sign of intelligence, I also think it's a sign of having suffered a great deal throughout your lifetime. You know the difference between needing to go back to bed & spending an unhealthy amount of time in bed. You know that ignoring your brains needs makes everything worse & I think you want to be your best for the video project. It is not wrong to give it priority, to take this opportunity by the horns & ride it bare back into the wild 🙂 You go girl!

@Bunniekins- The walking smile 😄 That's so true & my Staffy does indeed smile 🙂 😄

@eth- Bummer about the Internet, I hate it when mine goes down, it feels so totally
empty & alone.

We didn't go for a walk at all yesterday! Much to the Staffies extreme disapproval! It rained on & off {well, sprinkled really . . . but still wet:)}. I don't walk in the rain or when the dirt is mud & the grass/dry stalks are dripping 🙂 Plus there was, not such a small part of me thinking 'well . . . that's what you get for not coming when your called!' 😉 I wonder whether all these exciting walks, occurring over so many consecutive days, after a month of such restriction, is going to his head a little. Maybe we'll have a on-lead walk today or I might take them into town for a now very familiar run in there 😉

Love to all that need or want it

@CheerBear @outlander @saturnzoon

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I agree that your produce sounds amazing @eth. That cheesecake sounds divine.

Thats amazing that you have so many fruit trees @CheerBear.

so sorry to hear that unwell one has a set back and about your meltdown. @CheerBear. I hope it gave you some relief too. Releasing that volcano of emotions is pretty helpful.

today I am going to help host my friends sons 21st of all family. I am so not wanting to do it but I owe her so much. The thought of socialising and trying to wear a mask that long is petrifying me.

I woke up in a really strange headspace today after another vivid dream. I dreamt that I was looking after a friends baby and somehow I left her on the bus and it took hours for me to remember where I last had her. It was kind of terrifying. I had asked my psych this week to change meds because of the dreams but she said no because she thought it important for my brain to have them as it’s me processing it. I don’t know how helpful they are when nearly all of them revolve around shame. I’m a bit frustrated because I’m still carrying that emotion of the dream but hope it will subside.

I have my tiara 👸 on today. I just want to potter in my garden. I don’t want to adult and play hostess. 🤦‍♀️.

Well thats my first rave for a bit. I wish I had a bit more positive in it.

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