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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

See you later @Mazarita. Thanks again for whiling away the wee hours with me. Sleep well x

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita,

I didn't know anti-inflammatory's could affect the moods, I guess any medication can affect individuals in any manner. Now you've got me thinking, I did run out for a few days, I didn't think anything of it, but it did coincide with my little hic-up with the center of my Universe - maybe they affect me in a positive way, merely the alleviation of discomfort. How did the anti-inflammotory's affect you? I also suffered nausea for almost a year due to neuro-biological disorders, I don't think that's the way to go either. I feel for your fear and dread, I think the worst feeling is helplessness - and that your own body is causing this {I understand that a little}, how less helpful can a person feel? There are always new med's, though I worry that they will have new affects, particularly being mixed with your psych ones; but it's always good to think positively, maybe the combination will kick in your natural high and you will be editing videos that are the best you've ever done before you know it 🙂

My Mother had a large section of her bowel removed, I remember discovering that it was one of the most painful operations to recover from, as it goes through the abdominal muscles. That you've been through 2 of those surgeries must be a cruel memory. My Mothers surgery saved her life for a while, did you eventually feel better for having those operations? Does meditation or natural remedies help? I'm imagining you've tried everything, and that you will use a combination of anything that helps. Have you heard of the new fad, I think it's called 'eye-staring'; it's odd for someone like me who has such a fear/mistrust of people, the thought of staring into a strangers eyes really appeals to me 🙂 I think it's supposed to stimulate the brain, a bit like neuo-plasticity?

Thank-you for hearing me about the center of my Universe You are right, they are adults and I can find positivity in the fact that they can make there own decisions, good and bad. I see that they are living their own lives, and believe that cannot be a bad thing. Just as my child can make their own decisions, so can I; and just because those decisions are different doesn't make either of them wrong.

Strengthening the love in the stream

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Warning: more medical stuff.

Hi Niqua,

Lovely to get your long message this morning.

The anti-inflammatories I'm referring to are a steroid medication, stronger than the usual anti-inflammatory and with a much nastier side effect profile, known to trigger bipolar. But I love your suggestion of a different med that might instead swing me into genius video making.

I will be negotiating the treatments carefully, but for some reason I find it difficult to stand up for myself with these things with doctors of this kind. I have had a far better time of it with psychiatrists than with gut specialists. For example, when I was trying to talk to one of my gastros about the severe depression I was experiencing while on this aforementioned medication, she answered, 'have a baby, then you won't have time to be depressed'.

The surgeries I've had were the most effective of all treatments I've had for Crohns. They were very hard to go through, especially the first one that had me in hospital for six weeks. But they have given much more lasting relief. Where I seem to have the inflammation now though is not an area that can be surgically removed without disastrous consequences. I've been meditating, sometimes in a formal way, sometimes ad hoc, since I first got the disease 37 years ago. It has helped, though I'm obviously still a worry wort. You should have seen what I was like then though. The inner stress and emotional conflicts I put myself through back then were intense.

I went through a long (and expensive) phase of trying natural remedies and therapists. They were simply not strong enough to deal with seriously inflamed and scarred intestine.

I have done that 'eye staring' you mention when I was a drama student. It was fantastic. I hope some of that fad comes this way.

You may be onto something there with the idea that neither you nor your child and partner are wrong.

Wonder what you have been up to lately aside from worrying, hehe. And what's happening today. I've had a few hours sleep after an all-nighter working on video and otherwise fluffing around. Still have the blinds drawn. I'll open them before long. But for now I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of sitting here in my nightie still, deferring the start of this day. That's okay, you might agree, sometimes withdrawal feels replenishing.

In any case your post inspired me to reach out to you in this closed in flat this morning. Love and warmth to you.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I've just done a rant on the "Anyone started with the NDIS?" thread. Had bad news again today. F'd up and getting to me. Will be back on here later tonight no doubt.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, I am on mobile away from home. Read your news. Will be online later but just wanted to send support and hugs. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and @eth,

Ho are you both ? @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear hello,hello ! Hello @Former-Member how are you ? My name is @PeppiPatty.....I've been on break for a while.......

It's so good to 'see you all, look at @Mazarita giving her very focused care.......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

and @Mazarita needing it.

@PeppiPatty You been AWOL for ages girlie, but we love you coming back.

@Mazarita

What a totally dumb thing for that gut lady to say.

It takes time and energy to flick off all those random comments we collect over the years.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Huh ? Wha? Apple......great to thee you. I have missed you but really needed the break.....oh, this thread I can rant on about what has been happening......

Coooolll...........

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

G'day G'day.....Okay, BeeGee's are playing..... about two months ago, I was listening to a radion station late night and winning prizes and then giving my winning cds to people, one which was the new Bee Gee cd, but I gave it away......I should have kept it.........

I digress.

I love writing that.

I digress.

Everyone, hi, @Appleblossom@A2Z @Nell123

@eth @Mazarita @CheerBear @Former-Member

So About the beginning of the year, I was noticing Mr X, my husband was not his usual self when he was smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. He rarely drank but with two of his oldest friends, he still drank a horrendous amount......skull skull skull for a long time etc. One day, I went to wake him up...he was sitting up and asking for coffee and usual stuff

can be so annoying.....

But he wasn't l talking to me.....

So I rang his Mum, my Mum .we were all getting together ...I rang the hospital and they say call an ambulance but I hung up when they tranferred the call....

.his Mum says."Shake him and say, "Mr X, you are scaring me, I am now calling an ambulance," so I did. The ambulance poeple were amazing but say, What took you so long to call us? I said because he was sitting up and talking to me and it took a while for me to work out what was happening and yes, I do have my first Aid.

So he's in hospital for one week.....he couldnt hear, see or walk. The Doctors say if he has one cigarette or one glass of alcohol, he is going to die.

Since then, Since Beginning of April, his friends keep on giving him that one last cigarette or glass of wine. I cannot stand these friends, we all went to High School together. They are extraordinarily selfish.

Yesterday I told them all that Mr X is banned going to their home, The last hospital visit was last week for one week. I needed a rest for two hours and MADE these two friends PRomise that they would not feed him alcohol or cigarettes.

I took him home. I was waking him every hour to make sure he was talking which was was. because sleeping on the couch for 72 hours...I rang another ambulance. It took a few days before I got the truth out of the three of them but Mr X was fed 2 large glasses of wine, 2 glasses of whisky, a cone of pot and smoking.

This week, I have been visiting for all day. I remembered that these certain friends didn't believe that he has a mental illness and fed him drugs and alcohol whenever he went to hosital. He would be in a Psych hospital and they would bring it all in and he got this terrible name.

So, he's banned.

Next chapter: Can I write about my new ways of self care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty, as always, good to see you. I laughed when you said 'I digress'. Big hugs for what you have been going through with Mr X. I hope things improve, and quickly. The delicate filagree of the leaves images is beautiful. Yes, rave away here, as you wish.

Hi @Appleblossom, that comment was over twenty years ago. Another person once said that to me. I wish I could let go of my anger about it. At the time, I just felt deeply hurt and misunderstood.

Hi everyone passing through, hope the evening is going okay. Okay here. Just watched an episode of 'Reign', a fictionalised account of Mary Queen of Scots. I'm into it, a rarity for me with tv series.

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