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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning, everyone.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @Mazarita and any other early birds who might be up already 🐦🌞😊

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Exoplanet and anyone else who sees this.

Big news - my new grandchild has arrived and all are well and happy!!!!, (if very tired) They are coccooning themselves for a few more days and I'm looking forward to when they are ready to talk by phone or skype. It's such a relief as I've been quite anxious about them all for the last nearly 2 weeks. Celebrated by cooking a special dinner last night (beef ragu with homemade corn bread and beans) followed by ice cream and accompanied by champaigne. My sil gave me a beautiful bunch of gerberas too. One of my favourite flowers. Plus sil's mum and I are going to do a road trip to the place they live. She has grandchildren in the same suburb.

@Mazarita hope this morning has started without a nightmare hangover for you.

Great that youve finished your knitting project. Also hoping you hear from the video curator soon so you can get on with that.

Congratulations on getting into the suicide prevention training program @CheerBear I can see you doing some really good work with that. You are doing a really good job of supporting your friend in hospital and the other friend staying with you. Stay strong and don't forget your own needs while caring for so many others.

@saturnzoon hoping things have settled down between your sons by now, and if not that you are getting some support irl. I agree with @Faith-and-Hope's suggestion of Relationships Australia. The Carers forum on here might also be a good place to ask about supports you might be able to use. I also agree with @Bunniekins about getting the police involved. When my child was in their teens they went through a very violent period too. So once it became too much for me while they did their last year at school I ultimately took them to court and obtained an AVO so I could be safe in my home. It was slightly different from a standard one in that my child could still be in the home too, but if they breached the AVO and did one more act of violence they would be charged and it would be on their record forever. It worked for 12 months that it was granted for, but then the day after it expired my child (then 18) was violent again and left home to stay with their boyfriend. I didn't hear from them for several months and things were very strained once we saw each other again. But as they've gotten older (now nearly 30) they have apologized many times. I know it sounds like an extreme solution but it stopped me from being physically hurt more. Of course this happened after several visits to the house by police, so there was a lot of evidence to support my application.
I'm sending you my strongest wishes for a solution and the return of peace to your home. You and your 12yo have every right to 'peaceful enjoyment' of your home.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@eth Congratulations eth!! Wonderful news at long last as you say, we were all thinking that lol. Very excited for you 😄

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Thanks a lot @Bunniekins. How's your day going?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Awesome news @eth! I was thinking of you this morning wondering whether you had any news. Love that you were able to celebrate like you did last night and that you now have some relief from the worry and wonder you've been feeling. So great to hear 💜🧡💛💚💙 Squishy newbies are awesome and it's such a special time 😊💕

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Thankyou @CheerBear. I love the rainbow of hearts - it's so appropriate for them. Really looking forward to seeing them all, even a photo would be good, but I understand them wanting to nurture themselves at this time.

How's your day so far?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I can only imagine how much you'd be looking forward to seeing them in any way @eth! My kids are never going to be allowed to move far away for reasons like that 😉 (kidding obviously). As much as I'd respect their right and need for privacy and space, I think I'd find it hard not to go knocking though. Big hugs for you ❤

My day is going slowly which is good. I was up way early this morning and have been asked to take the kids in to visit at the hospital today. I'm really not totally keen on the idea of it and am tired so I'm moving very slowly and kind of procrastinating the whole getting everyone ready thing. Having a nice time crocheting instead though 🙂

How about yourself? Was it harder than usual to sleep after the news?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@CheerBear sorry for the delay answering you. I had to sort something out with my plan manager and my psychologist's invoices (finally done after 8 sessions since my NDIS plan started).

I actually slept a little better last night, probably because I'm not as anxious about how the birth would go.

Hope that if you do get to the hospital with the kidlets that it goes ok for you and for the person you are visiting. Might be easier if they have a private room than if they are on a ward. Sending wishes for you to handle it calmly and find some joy in it too.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi all,

i have been really slow to react to some good news that has happened on this thread over the last week (which has been an indication of my headspace not my heart.

@Mazarita, @CheerBear

@CheerBear

@CheerBear

@CheerBear

I loved reading your awesome news. So well deserved for both of you. I know there is still a tough road ahead but it’s awesome to see you having some really cool things to work towards. 💜🤗

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