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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Bunniekins

Great that your son's psychiatrist is looking like they will work out well, and not looking too good that the Pea will be flirtily distracted.

I am very well rested today, having gone to bed last night and slept on and off until after 1pm today, good recovery after an intense few days. On these highly excitable days so far, I have still been going to bed at reasonable times, well before the pumpkin hour. Still waking every two hours, as has been the case since the big depression not so long ago. And still getting strange vivid dreams, or actual horrific nightmares, as was the case last night. They don't go on all night though, and I seem to be able to recover from them after the initial disturbance on waking for a while. At this point it seems pretty clear the dreams are a side effect of the new meds mix. In so many other ways, the new meds are working very well for me, so I will probably just live with it.

Good to see you today. Hope the rest of it is great for you.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Its 11.15pm and my 24yr old is picking on his 12yr old brother fighting to hard and hurting him, the 12yr old is screaming at him to stop but the older one is just laughing, my youngest is yelling for me and the older one just ignores me and keeps going, I'm calling him all the names under the son and want to ram his head in the door, I'm sick of yelling at him. I just want to scream and take meds to block it all out

This is what I have to put up with for the rest of the holidays.

@Mazarita @Bunniekins @MoonGal @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Former-Member @eth

@outlander @CheerBear @BlueBay

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @saturnzoon
School holidays can be horrible cant they.
Are you able to separate the 2 boys at all to stop their fighting?
Tomorrow do you think it might be worth having a sit down with your eldest and talk about his behaviour? Im not all that sure of your circumstances but maybe little tough love would be beneficial..

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Its nearly 130am here in my time zone

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @saturnzoon

oh I feel for you. It must be really hard for you ❤️

Like @outlander mentioned is it possible to have a chst with your oldest son?

thinking of you

take care ❤️

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning everyone

@saturnzoon it's school holidays here too and it can be like a pressure cooker sometimes. Having the kids home constantly can really stretch and challenge me. Two of mine in particular can be a lot of work when they're together all the time. I'm tired now and looking forward to the routine that school weeks bring and the breathing space that I have more of then too.

I can't imagine what it would be like to try and manage and live with that behaviour from an adult child, especially if it becomes violent. I'm also thinking how difficult it might be for your 12 year old too. It sounds really tough for everyone.

Do you have any friends or family that might be able to watch one (or both) of them for a little while for you so you can have a break?

Hope today is a little better for you all.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Have a beautiful day Everyone ❤️

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @BlueBay @outlander @saturnzoon @MoonGal @Appleblossom @Dadcaringalone @Teej @TAB @PeppiPatty@soul @Faith-and-Hope and anyone else around this fine day. Another beautiful clear and cool morning and heading for a warm day. Hope it's starting out as one of the better days for you all.

@Mazarita sending you inspiration and joy for your creative process to flow.

@saturnzoon Feel for you with conflict between your sons. I agree with @outlander's suggestions if possible for you. The 24 yo is old enough to know better, but maybe there's a reason why he has behavioural issues. How difficult it must be for you.

@Exoplanet beautiful sunrise photo.

@MoonGal long time no see. Hope things are going ok for you.

Hoping for some chat here before I head out with my sw at 10.30. Psychologist at 11 and physiotherapist at 2 - another biggish day for me. But some time in between - maybe lunch and a walk at the beach.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @Mazarita spotted your like elsewhere. How are things going for you today?

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