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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Hope4me @Bunniekins and anyone else reading this post. @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Teej @Appleblossom @Exoplanet

No news about the baby yet, must be still on it's way through. Feeling a bit weird about not being allowed to tell everyone who cares about them, but have to do what they want. Plus they don't want anyone to contact them for at least a few days. I know they are totally entitled to manage this birth in their own way, just I'm feeling fit to burst with the news. Thank goodness I can talk here about it.

Nice chat this morning about tats and scars. I have tats on both my upper arms (where I get to see them not just everybody else) - but I guess if I described them I'd get in trouble here as they are my own designs and totally unique thus identifying. They both have really strong meaning to me about the path I've walked spiritually and in my work healing others for so many years and myself now.

And then I have visible scars on my wrists from bashing my way through french doors to get away from my child's dad. Which he told everyone I did deliberately to myself so they put me in hospital. I feel great stigma about them, especially when meeting people.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @eth. Super exciting about the new little person making their way in to the world! I can imagine it may be an odd feeling for you right now.

Hugs for you with the scars and the abusive ex. That kind of stuffing around with is the kind that's done some damage to me over years also. Its recorded on my MH record that I made an attempt on my life which I didn't and that came about from my ex also. It still is mentioned when I have had to engage with the cat team even though I've attempted to clarify it. It's not right. Hugs again 💚

Any plans for the day today?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Total empathy from me @CheerBear re lying exes.

Heading out 9.30 to a denture appointment - fun fun fun not! Have a sw for 2 hours so maybe a little beach time afterwards, depends how I'm feeling.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hope the appointment goes OK @eth (that doesn't sound fun) but hope the sw appointment feels good for you

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @eth @CheerBear .... anyone else here .....

Exciting news about the baby ❣️

Hugs for scars, physical and not, and lying, abusive exes ..... I am living under the presumption that I am vindictive / deluded and making trouble for my hubby by telling tall stories that are hard / impossible to believe. It’s only diagnosis that will bring validation here, but I am acutely mindful that is a different sort of trauma than what both of you have suffered through. The scars are warrior scars @eth. In that, they are beautiful. They represent a battle or battles won or survived, hopefully both.

💜❤️

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Big big hugs and love for you @Faith-and-Hope. What you're going through is tough 💗

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I really feel for you too @Faith-and-Hope It must be sooo hard at times. Hugs back atcha Thanks for what you said about my scars.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

💜❤️ @CheerBear @eth .....

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @eth, a message for you before I go to bed, you may get it in the morning. I've been worried in retrospect about a part of my latest post in your bipolar thread. The part where I talked about my choice to cease delving into past traumatic memories too much. I just want to clarify that I was speaking of my own experience, and not referencing the process you are currently engaged in with your psychologist, which is in any case a different kind of therapy. I trust that you are the expert on dealing with your own struggles, which are different to mine, though we share common experiences in our lives. I respect the trust you have in your psychologist and wish you only the best outcome in your therapy. I also want only to support you in that that process. Sorry I went off on my own tangent in an insensitive way, in response to your previous post, and for any uneasy feelings this might have caused for you. Love to you. Maz

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hey @Mazarita snap timing again! I have no doubt that I won't have a problem with your sharing on the other thread. Just saw this post and haven't read the other yet. I trust, respect and appreciate your take on your experience with bipolar and therapy choices. I don't ever expect us to always make the same choices. Who knows, i might reach a point where I make a similar decision. But maybe not too. And our experiences are not identical, as similar as some of them are. Love you and hope I've caught you before bed time. xx

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