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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins, really glad your psychologist appointment went well. I relate to you with the anger issues. It was the reason I was put on anti-psychotic medication around 2012. I have a history of verbally abusing those closest to me, which I'm very much not proud of. I too had no desire or intent to be an angry person, and was horrified to find myself acting that way without control. Aside from the awfulness of it for loved ones, it eroded my sense of self very badly too. The years on the anti-psychotic meds (which stopped it pretty much straight away), have also given me the space to work on that major issue in my life and I haven't done anything like it for years now. Very glad there's no sign of it returning now that I'm off the anti-psychotic medication altogether. My life is relatively stress-free these days though (partly by my own efforts to reduce external stressors). This makes it easier to manage my anger. I imagine you have a lot of stress caring for your son especially, which in my mind would make it much more understandable why you might find anger bubbling inside you. Wishing you the very best in your progress with that.

Hi @eth, your experience with public activism sounds very scary. Also so sorry you had those terrible experiences with DV. Were you able to return to safe spaces in between parts of the EMDR, and then again at the end? Good to hear you had a full day too. The flourish centre sounds like a VIP version of the place I go to, which is very small and only has one medium sized room for all activities. Seems reasonable that you just checked the place out yesterday, rather than doing any art activities. I remember being so nervous when I first went to the mental health centre here a few years ago and those initial nerves last for a little while. But the more I went, the more comfortable I felt. Now I almost feel like I'm part of the furniture. Sorry to hear your back is still giving you grief. I would be at the physio for that kind of thing. Of course you may have different ideas. But the five sessions of physio the doctor referred me for earlier in the year have worked wonders on my painful legs and feet. I wonder if you are still around, now that I've finished this reply. Would be lovely to chat again in real time this morning, if possible.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋💕 @Mazarita .....

So glad the physio work made a real difference .....

Thinking of you too @CheerBear @Bunniekins @outlander @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, what's in store for you today? I have plans in my mind, but, as is my new way, I'm not saying until afterwards what they might be. However, I have done a couple of chores this morning before coming online (again following @eth's lead): made my bed, took all the washing off the line (four loads), folded and brought it in. All that remains is the put away part, pretty easy for later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope I'm impressed by the way you are keeping such a positive focus and seeing the possibilities. Maybe some mini-cactus type plants?

@Mazarita I've already used the 5 allied health ap'ts for this year on extra psychology. But may book an ap't for GP and a referral to physio Tuesday next week (when I can get there) and just pay out of my own funds. If it's still a problem.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, ah yes, I now remember about the five extra sessions of psychology you got instead. Hope your body's natural healing processes settle it down before next Tuesday. Do you have any plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @TAB sorry I forgot to tag you. Hope today is going well so far for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had been considering not making my bed @Mazarita, as mr.f&h is treating this house as if we have already moved out, and is even throwing rubbish down on the floor ..... but you know what ? I have decided to treat this house as my home until the last box is closed, so I am going to make my bed, and ask D2 to sweep up the rubbish (I can’t face doing that). Then I am going out on what was my usual walk to the coffee shop where I am meeting up with a friend, and I will take her with me to do chores of things that need to happen to start the move. Rather than “letting this happen” I am going to turn and face it .... in baby steps ..... and find my way through it that way, not without a lot of tears methinks .... bit tears and I are not strangers to each other .... 😐✊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita My only plan for today is cooking a frittata (egg pie!) later for 3 of us. Bro is away again. I'm giving myself a 'nothing day' after being out Sun Tue and Wed. And after yesterday's psych ap't in particular.

Glad to hear my do something first plan is working for you. This morning it was only make the bed and coffee for me.

Hope any plans you have for today come to fruition. It's cold and wet here today so a good day for cabin dwelling.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, hugs for your tears. Good on you for keeping the home feeling alive for yourself until you are out of there. Makes me smile thinking of you doing your usual walk again, this time meeting with a friend. I admire your positive approach to the big changes.

@eth, frittata sounds lovely, as does your recent herbal dish from the garden. It made me long for your cooking, as you say, the vitality of such fresh food from your own garden. Over time I'm getting such a lovely image of your cabin (despite the smallness), with flowers from the garden and other creative things. Do you have the flyscreen for summer yet? I get needing a quiet day after a few busy days this week, and after going through heavy stuff yesterday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Just booked the GP for Tuesday afternoon. No the screens aren't installed yet. Should be iin next couple of weeks. Sil said last night she thinks it will really change my life. I think so too.

Sorry, I haven't clocked what your heavy stuff was yesterday. Want to talk about it?

EDIT!!: I just re-read your post and it was my heavy stuff !!

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