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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same as usual with me just stressed @outlander

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ok @messygril i know your situation is stressful but your doing the best you can and thats all you can do.
Hows your little girl going?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Big hugs to you @CheerBear i know you cant talk about alot but im happy to listen to the things you can ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again everyone,

@Faith-and-Hope, a big new period of your life about to happen. Really glad to hear you don't have to live through the renovation of the old house in the west while living there. It's wonderful that both your place in the east and the unit in the west will include art spaces for you. The decision to sell the house seems practical and wise, given circumstances. Good to hear the unit will be a way to keep seeing your married children. But hearing you about how painful it is to be leaving a place that has so many family memories. How long have you lived in the house in the west? In any case, I wish you all the best with the next stage of family life. Love the garden image you posted.

@outlander, I'm not 100% clear on the pain you have been having that led to the ultrasound. I imagine they have already done tests for bladder, urinary tract and kidney infections. Maybe it's worth exploring further with your doctor if you are having ongoing pain with it. I guess it's also possible that it's related to psychological issues, like anxiety. It would be good to get a clearer answer on what it is though. I wonder if you have a psychologist yet. Hoping you get some relief from these troubles soon.

@Exoplanet, I do recall that you don't remember your dreams and that this is a relief to you. How awful to have lived with fear of sleep even as a child. I am glad for you that you have the peace from that at this time of your life.

I looked on the web about rectoceles. Do you think it came from childbirth in your case? Very sorry you have to live with that and totally get how that would excacerbate social anxieties and going to public places. It hasn't always been the case, but I have good control of both bowel and bladder at this time, as long as I am able to access a toilet without too much time passing. I'm go a fair bit over the day and night though, which is fatiguing, especially as a chronic condition that's been going on for decades. It was much worse when I was younger though. I'd often be sprinting for toilets from how urgent the diarrhea was (and sometimes not making it). It is extremely humiliating to suffer from these things. Good to have a laugh about it whenever possible though: 'people need to be mindful of their own shit', LOL!

Great to hear your day in the 'big smoke' was successful. That GPS takes you on some adventures! I enjoy hearing about the dogs' experiences too. How funny that your big pitbull was afraid on a little bridge! Cool with the $2 blanket from the op shop. Love what you were saying about the dogs touching noses through the fence, with wagging tails.

Off to bed now. Hope there is some quality sleep for all tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita 💜🌷

Its been 8 years, but this house was a larger version of the 15 year one before, so there was a continuation, of you like. The units are apartment living, with no garden, and while that can be lovely, it’s a complete departure from what feels like home to me .....

So. The pros have to be my focus, and I just have to work out how to make it feel like home. I will get there, and art spaces will go a long way towards helping with that.

I hope you’re feeling better today. Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone. Early morning 'wake break' here. Wishing everyone well this day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy what a huge day you had yesterday. You must have been exhausted by the end of it. I hope you slept well because of it. Yes I am wearing one of my pairs of $6 leggings as I write this. Best and Less have improved out of sight over the years. No longer are the clothes unfashionable and frumpy :).

I went to my psychologist and spoke about many things. She is going to be good. I spoke about my anger issues and bad memories as they are the two major things that I want to deal with. Having this undercurrent of anger at times really bothers me as I don't consider myself to be an angry person but the illness thinks otherwise.

Hope you have a great day. Love gp xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone hope today has started peacefully and promises good things for all here.

@Mazarita Big day out yesterday - well done. Target also has a range for larger women that's called Belle Curve and still has some really cheap stuff that's reasonable quality.

@Faith-and-Hope What a huge time of transition for you - sending wishes for internal stability in the face of all the changes. Nice to hear you will have dedicated art spaces in both your new homes. Living in one room as I do I always have to put away my projects and I think I'd work on them more often if I didn't. Before I came here I had a 2 bedroom flat of my own so I had an office area and art/craft room that I could leave what I was working on and come back without having to pack/unpack. I do miss that. Here I've just got a smallish table in the centre of the cabin that serves as dining table, office space, art/craft area - and anythinig else you can think of.

Hoping the restructuring of the way you live works well for all your family's needs. Have you thought of doing something like a vertical garden on a balcony?

@Exoplanet lovely to hear all about your big day out with the doggies. What adventures you have.

My public activism came to a halt when I was 'punished' for choosing a side and helping some old aboriginal women in a famous land title claim that they should have had a share in. Long story there. I was lucky to live.

@Shaz51 and @outlander hoping you both have some resolution of the medical/physical issues really soon. I'd keep pushing for a diagnosis too @outlander. @Shaz51 hope your mum stabilizes soon too.

Hi @Former-Member

@CheerBear sending best wishes for a happier day for you. You are so strong to keep on keeping on the way you do. I've been wondering how your new-ish 'friendship' (with amorous content) is going for you. Hoping it's developing nicely. Sorry to hear about your greenhouse coming down and killing your seedlings. I reckon some of the just might surprise you by germinating in that area. Nice to hear you have your new garden ready to go. I've been picking perfumed sweet peas for the cabin. I love growing flowers - have gladdies almost ready to flower too and masses of nasturtiums - but we also have quite a bit of food harvesting atm too. Night before last I made a 'Salsa Verde' (green sauce like pesto) with lots of parsley, mint and basil from the garden. It's so good to eat such vital food.

@Bunniekins great to hear your new psychologist went really well and you are feeling hopeful of making progress with them.

My day yesterday was pretty big too. My newest support worker took my to the psychologist ap't and afterwards we came home for a while then went to check out the Flourish drop-in centre. It looks like a great space - really big open area with rooms for music, art, quiet book space, movie area, gym, bistro (!) and dining area and then outside there's a smoking area and a bit of a garden that participants can do stuff in (very small so far but I might bring some things from our garden and plant them there possible). However I was really on the alert about the other participants, even tho' I was told it was a very quiet afternoon. The person who showed us around said there can be anything from 20 to 60 people there at any time. I didn't do the craft activity yesterday coz they were doing collage which I do at home sometimes anyway. I think it was really because there was only 1 guy there doing it. Probably would have stayed if there'd been some women (which apparently there usually are). Might aim for doing the art group next Tuesday.

Then we went to woollies briefly and to a cafe for a cuppa chai and a treat, then home and a bit more chat. She's a little older than me and has cert IV and diploma in disabilities and MH support work, plus her own lived experience. I feel good with her, she's more of the aspects I was hoping for than the other sw's I've engaged.

My psychologist ap't was pretty heavy stuff, going in depth on the dv that cost me my remaining teeth amongst other injuries. I'm having a bunch of dental ap'ts to get new dentures atm and getting PTSD memories and re-trauma whenever someone does stuff around the face and neck. So that episode of life has been coming up a lot more recently and I've got 5 more appointments to go.

Back is still sore - I keep doing stretches and sometimes using neurofen, arnica cream and voltaren gel and it gets better for hours then comes back. Being stubborn about going to the Dr for it.

So that's my long rave for this morning. Sending good wishes to all, and @Sophia1 too - thinking of you with your huge changes too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth that is one hell of a love rave my dear friend eth! I am giving you a tick now becauase it will take this lil pea's brain all day to read it lol. Will go and do some qi gong first to wake me up.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Whoa, that was a big day for you @eth ..... sounds like you’re sifting it for the good bits ..... hugs 💜

Our place in the east has no balcony space @eth, but you have got me thinking ..... there is a wall in the laundry that might work for a mini wall-garden of herbs. We will be away for a long time across the end of each year though, but there might be a neighbour who could look after it for us.

The place in the west will be neglected a lot, although my mr will be coming and going each week. He won’t even look at balcony pots or wall garden, much less lift a finger to it. He has blinkers on with his ed-driven lifestyle. Might be able to find some desert-living plants that could survive.

I might have to make some sculptured plants that are funky art pieces, and just find community gardens to go and walk in.

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