FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

13,531 - 13,540 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel for you @Shaz51 having all those specilaists 😞

@Mazarita i hope you enjoy. Sounds like an interesting social activity

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just wanted to pop on & blow my own trumpet a little bit. I've had a good day, a productive one 🙂 I no longer have a little white fluffy dog, I now have a little bald dog; the shade's up out the back, the panels are clean & the gutters too 🙂 I went into town & gave the dogs an off-lead run, bought them some bones & me some mince which I'm turning into spag with meat balls right now 🙂 I've also made the bed & done the dishes, which I've been doing daily for quite some time now {& brushing my teeth each night, . . . sad that I find that exciting isn't it 😄 } Well, toot toot honk 😄

Love to all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Lol well done I particularly like the brushing the teeth part 😄 I have brushed my teeth twice 😛 (I have a thing about teeth....), hung out 3 loads of washing. Did washing up and bought some clothes 😄

What with you, me and Mazzy's socializing today I think we have all been super achievers!!!! I wonder what @eth got up to.....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well done to you! @Exoplanet accomplished so much today!!

Hello @Mazarita i seen your like and wondered if you were still up? Hows your social event go?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @PeppiPatty how are you lovley? These are for you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @CheerBear

your support worker sounds a little like my last Psychotherapist I saw 14 years, starting with 3 times per week for about 4 years........ Down to 2 times per week for years then once per week to once every 6 months to a week or two every couple of years. Jeepers. Can you believe she didn't get sick of me ? Nor I her ?

Or or get bored of each other ?

Anyway, your support worker sounds like good value. I hope that I'm not stepping out of line.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

3.30am wake-break. Finally finding some time and energy to respond here again. Yesterday was a rollercoaster day for me emotionally and in my energy levels too. I didn't have it in me to do more than read and 'support' posts. I should really be going back to bed at this hour of the night. But it's so quiet now, with a gentle night breeze coming through the open door next to me. The trees out there are softly whooshing, and the first early morning bird has just started sounding in the distance. I feel rested and peaceful in a way I didn't at all yesterday. So here I am being a bit of a night owl, like the old days.

@outlander, what I've just written explains why I didn't respond to you in real time last night. I went to bed at 8.30pm. When you felt me here under the 'support' button later in the night, I was only online very briefly before heading back to bed. More hugs to you for the health difficulties you are experiencing at the moment. As you can see, there is a lot of care here on the forum for you.

@eth, sorry to read about your adult child's treatment of you on the phone. Hope your back is feeling better today and that the motivation flows more freely. I have been trying to make the most of the recent growth in my offline life lately, especially the opportunities to get myself out of the flat. I'm also finding that the higher dose of anti-depressants is revving me up too much sometimes, which means I really need chill time when I'm at home, including off the computer. Looking forward to another real time meetup with you when the synchronicity happens.

@Exoplanet, yay for the bathing day and a bald but much cooler dog. Congratulations on getting those necessary tasks done around your home (and on your roof). It takes my breath away sometimes reading about your capacity to do the things you do. Your self-sufficiency and competence at things many of us couldn't dream of doing. You are a very strong woman, a kind of amazon in my eyes, though I know of your vulnerabilities too. On a lighter note, I love spaghetti and meat balls! I am also finding my increased dental hygiene exciting, so we can be sad and funny together on that point.

@Bunniekins, cool to hear you bought some clothes. What are they like? Good that you can laugh sometimes about your son's behaviours. I would find it impossible to live with. The pea is a mighty mum.

@PeppiPatty, 14 years of seeing the same physiotherapist is a long time. She must have been good. These days I stick to the same therapist (of any kind), once I find ones that are really helpful. Those long therapeutic relationships can get better and better over time, with deepening trust and knowledge of each other. I don't get sick of that.

@Shaz51, hugs, my scotirish sister. You really need some time out from things with all that's going on in your life, even if that means disappointing your mum a little from time to time. You still rang and talked with her for half an hour. Banish the guilt. You are a very good daughter and do so much for your people.

@CheerBear, it's taken me an hour to re-read many posts and write this reply. Wondering if you are up early again today. If I miss you, sending good vibes for your Sunday.

Love to all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita 🙂. Hugs for the rollercoasters. Your morning sounds lovely and its great to hear you catch a moment of peace and calm.

I've been awake for the last little while but still in bed trying to sleep longer which isn't happening. After a very winter turn in the weather yesterday it's now really cold and I think that's woken me and keeping me awake today.

I'm going to call it quits on my sleep attempt and hit the kettle I think🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, lovely to catch you again this morning.

Was reading about your change of mood stabiliser. Hoping the new one works out very well for you. It would be great it if helped you sleep a bit longer at night too. It seems good that your doctor can admit to maybe making a mistake with the first one. There is one mood stabiliser I'd never want to take myself. It's the 'gold standard' for bipolar, and may be the most effective. But from what I've heard and read about it, I think the side effect profile would not be worth the benefits for me.

Yesterday's rollercoaster had very good things in it, but was not easy on my nervous system. One of the things that happened is that I was able to rekindle a friendship with someone I thought I'd lost from my life. My social anxiety was through the roof about seeing her again and I almost didn't go to the meeting of the five bipolars. Even when I was standing in the bathroom looking at the water coming out of the shower I still almost didn't make it. It was only when I took the step of stepping into the stream of water that I knew I was going to make it.

How is Sunday looking for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm really hoping I can tolerate this one and that it helps @Mazarita. I'm not expecting great things but a little more emotional stability if it can do that, which GP thinks it may, would be good 🙂

That is huge with yesterday! Big smile reading and thinking of you pushing through fear and having it work out well for you. Can totally understand how that would have been a rollercoaster one. Will you see your friend again in the near future? You've been doing some great things 😊

My Sunday is looking cold haha. It's definitely inside weather. I've been looking at more crochet patterns as well as what it will take to finish that big bright cotton blanket I started months ago, so I think I'll do some of that today while the kids have movies going probably. How about your Sunday?
13,531 - 13,540 of 27,230