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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

well I am off the doctor`s and to visit mum @Mazarita, @MoonGal, @eth

speak to you after

Mr shaz does not know what to do , so i think he will still be on the couch when i get home

ohh i have to water mum`s plants too xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @MoonGal I often 'jump start' (sitting up already before I even know I'm awake) during the night too and I agree , going back to bed isn't always something we can do, but it's the first step in getting more sleep. My psychiatrist recently put me on a med that blocks adrenalin receptors and tho' I'm still having the troubled dreams I don't react so much physically.

As nice as it can be when depression lifts it's great that you are recognizing that you might be a bit elevated - again it's the first step in keeping insight into what's going on. When I feel that way I try to keep busy quietly, delay urges to spend, use music ... I'm sure you have some ideas in your 'tool box' for such times. And at least lie down with eyes shut even if not sleeping. Focus on breath. Sending calm your way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy your time out of the house today, @Shaz51. Hope it's a good one for you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita last week we talked in depth about one of the lesser traumas (safer to get into) and spent some time identifying a calm, safe place for me to focus on at the end of an EMDR session. I think we're going to do the EMDR practice for the first time today. Thanks for following my progress on that. Of course, having said it was a 'lesser' trauma, once we got right into it even I was shocked at some of the moments remembered now that I am in a safe place to face it. And the safe calm place I have is right there in her office. Not even the cabin as things get a bit tricky to navigate with bro and sil at times, as you know.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope today goes well for you @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending gentle and kind feelings for your first in depth session today, @eth. Good to hear that the trauma work is focussed in the psychologist office and that you will be doing exercises at the end of each session to bring you back to a safe place before leaving.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

for you too @eth, @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Catching up on messages and replies over the past day or so now...

@CheerBear, wondering how your meeting with the mental health worker went yesterday, and what your thoughts and feelings about volunteering are after it. I hear you about the pain you feel in relation to finishing your degree at this time. There is plenty of time in your life to do that though. Trying to inspire me recently, my psychiatrist told me about a man he knew who got his degree in his 80s! Not that it will take that long for you by any means. I believe you will get there when the time is right.

@Exoplanet, I had a real wipe out day yesterday after doing such good things on Monday. But undeterred I shall keep moving forward as much as possible today. You are right that, even with a lost day here and there, I am definitely much better than I was a couple of weeks ago. Glad to hear your sleep patterns are slotting back into place. I am in the process of trying to rewire mine so that I don't fall back into the all-night awake patterns I was in for so long. Yay for the netting being finished, well done! Getting closer now to the big fence job being done too. Exciting.

@Teej, sorry to hear you had a flat, teary day yesterday. It's okay to share those things here. Your veggies and herbs sound lovely. I'm so impressed with all the garden stories I read on the forum. I barely remember to water my few pot plants. Luckily there's been a fair bit of rain lately!

@saturnzoon, great that you have nature in the way of birds in the tree at your place. I find that being aware of nature, especially birds, helps at the best and worst of times. All of us part of the wonderful cycle of nature, despite what we might be going through in our minds. So glad you are finding it rewarding being here. It's great to have you with us!

@Sans911, good to see you here too. Glad to hear you are coming out the other side of a long and very difficult time.

@PeppiPatty, it sounds like things have been very difficult indeed with Mr Buddha. Such a relief that he will be getting some help to manage things very soon. And that you can hopefully look forward to an easier time of it soon too. Best to both of you. I watched that show about the man who was homeless and living in the bush, and then went on to study and gain a PhD. Incredible life's journey and so inspiring. Glad to read too that it helped Mr Buddha to see that.

@frog, hope you enjoy your day off from work today, are able to relax and recuperate. Good to see you here.

@Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope and everyone, hope today goes well for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂
@eth7 naps sounds like pretty frustrating broken sleep, I hope your psychologist can help, sending you love
@CheerBearSorry you had frustration with sleep last night Especially after a big day! Hope you can 'go slow' today & that the morning birds sang extra beautifully for you I'd be thinking the medication change has a lot to do with it all, hoping your body adjusts to it very soon
@TeejI'm glad you enjoyed the camping trip 🙂 You've probably got a better chance of holding on to the reality of it than me 😉 I really love the gardening trips 🙂 I'm desperately
trying to draw inspiration from them. I always used to make some kind of effort to grow
something {at the very least a certain green herb}, but the past couple of years . . .
nothing. It was horribly hot last summer & they're saying it's going to be worse this
one, add the lack of moisture to that & everything just goes crispy . . . it's a real put-off. Hugs for the flatness & a hanky for the tears, love to you
@saturnzoonHugs for the deep hard moments, we all have them & your right about this forum, the love & support from understanding souls makes all the difference in my life Sorry your older son was inconsiderate, I don't blame you for hanging up in fact it's probably better than yelling & screaming.
@Sans911Hugs for your year, hoping the following decades will be so much better
@Shaz51 So happy to make you smile Shaz I'm good, feeling a bit 10 foot tall & bullet proof from the camping trip, enjoying planning the next one {it'll probably only take a year 😄 } Sorry to hear your feeling a bit yuk Hope the tests come back clear XxX Sending you love ❤️
@PeppiPattyI'm sorry to hear your husbands challenges have been overcoming him & affecting you so strongly I think that daze is horrible, that 'this isn't really happening' 'this can't be real'. I'm glad Mr Buddha is strong enough to see his actions aren't healthy & is seeking help, I hope it comes soon for both your sakes Love to you
@Mazarita I think I do the 'reverse psychology' sometimes too 🙂 But then again, other times when I put something on here, I feel a commitment & go through with it - so . . . 6 to 1, half a dozen to the other 😄 Good luck with your achievments today
@MoonGal @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita sorry my internet is playing up and being intermittent. Will have to chat another time.

Hi @Exoplanet

Hope today goes well for both of you and anyone else who pops in here today.

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