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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Very exhausted had a bad night hope you are

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry to hear you had a crappy night @Former-Member did you want to talk about it?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet A hand held cattle prod!!!!!! Hahaha! You are a funny girl Exoplanet 😄

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good morning eth and everyone!! 🙂 I actually left the house after 3 days 😮 but am now safely back in my coccoon. Hope you have a lovely day xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Just to do with father’s day. Mum & partner calmed me down a bit on the phone. Was stressing a bit over financials as well.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Autism is so hard for anyone not in the know to appreciate how it affects the parents. I think I read somewhere once that the dad's of autistic children are most likely to leave the family leaving the mum being the primary carer more so than any other family with disabled children.

One only has to see on the news how it affects families. My ex came home with my son yesterday and mentioned my son's weight gain and it was like an explosion ... Bang!! my son was off self harming and all we could do was sit there until he had calmed down. My daughter whispered to me 'I am just waiting for it all to end'.

You have my sympathy. Believe me I know what you are going through. Love greenpea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

lol @Bunniekins good for you! im not sure ill be moving much today

@Former-Member ah yes it can be a really tricky day but im glad your parents were there for you. finances cause so much stress dont they. im in the same boat atm too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Hi outlander and thanks 🙂 you went beyond the call of duty with your party attendance yesterday 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it is tricky. I also don’t know who my father is so brings back quite a bit @outlander yep on one single income it ain’t fun and it’s worse paying off past debt. Feel like sometimes ok since I said no to being treated that way...I am punished...I look where a lot of people spend their money...

some are building new kitchens... then complaining they have no money. I have about 15 grand in debt from

past & with my car but for me that’s more than enough. Once food, rent, bills, debt and buying basic essential needs -there isn’t much left... sometimes I am broke sometimes I have money but sometimes I can barely even afford to buy milk... every week is different. Wouldn’t go back to that though regardless of my financials. Sometimes I borrow money from parents but always pay back when I am desperate

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Bunniekins i didnt leave there till 9 so 6 hrs very glad to be back home
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