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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ditto re the work history when working for others @Mazarita. That's why I spent so many years freelancing with massage. Trying to have my own small business with herbs also ended in a major crash.

See you next time friend x

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @eth ......

Went for a massage this afternoon. Our road is getting bumpy again. Have to step up the self-care and ride things out.

S2 is not improving .... but I don't know how we can improve until WH is caught up with ..... everything else is just feeling like bandaid solutions.

Massage has been a nice bandaid this afternoon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you have had a healing massage today, @Faith-and-Hope. A valuable part of your self-care under prolonged difficulties. Hoping you were able to be free of worry about your family for at least part of the time you were receiving the treatment. I had a pedicure for the first time ever last week. The only reason I did it is that I'm having a lot of trouble reaching down to do my own nails! Embarrassing to admit, but there it is. It was a relaxing experience and something I am hoping to keep up now. Hope the evening is kind to you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita.

I started with pedicures last year for the same reason. Under this emotional strain I took up the challenge of finding care for myself. It has really helped, but I have to make sure it happens.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've started writing the dates ahead in my little diary, @Faith-and-Hope. That way it's like an appointment in the future, and I kind of look on these things as a priority, almost like medical treatment. I think the stress you are under really warrants the things you do to take care of yourself.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Mazarita.

I really wish it was all out in the open. Not being able to deal with things "cleanly" upsets me as much as the illness itself and the toll it has taken on everybody ..... but that's just what it is ..... and when it is out in the open, that will just be the start of more hard yards of a different nature.

No use whinging too much about it though .... it is what it is, and it's there to be worked on / around / with / through .....

We must be doing some serious character-building here, right ..... ??! 😏

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @eth @Faith-and-Hope

Just saying hello. Am pretty vulnerable and quiet.

Have been given a challenge which I had not thought of before.

Need to nut it out.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Character building experiences is one way to look at it, @Faith-and-Hope.

Hi @Appleblossom, looking forward to seeing your image when it comes through. Perhaps it's something meaningful to your experience at present. I have an image in my library already, that I've sent to you before. I love the delicacy of feeling...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom .... 💜💐💕

The image is not through yet, and I'm about to jump in the car and drive, so will have to come back for it later.

Hugs ❣️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, awake here. Wonder if you are sleeping...

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