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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @CheerBear, everyone,

CB, thanks for the well wishes. I got up at 6am today to get myself dressed and ready and to do last minute little cleaning jobs. I feel better this morning than I have all week. Looking forward to it being over and done with by 10am.

Eth, pretty solid sleep last night, a couple of awakenings, fairly quickly back to sleep again. Hope you have clocked up some good hours too.

What's happening for everyone today? After the flat inspection, my day is free and clear. Not sure what I'll do then, just focussing on getting past this hurdle for now.

Happy vibes to all this Friday morning. x

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope it went ok this morning @Mazarita x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, yes, it went fine, thanks mainly to C's efforts in getting the place cleaner over the past week. But I also did some cleaning last night and got up at 6am this morning to do final jobs. I asked the property manager if the owner was planning to sell this flat (he almost put it on the market in May). She said it was unlikely now, which I take to mean that we will likely get a new lease on the place when this one runs out at the start of next year. That takes a bit of a load off my mind with housing. I hope your housing issues resolve as smoothly as possible too, and that those keys to your new place come to hand easier and quicker than anticipated. Thanks for following up with me on this CB, really appreciate it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good night Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

I'm glad you feel more confident about your housing arrangement 🙂 and that the inspection went smoothly. Hope your sleeping peacefully right now, if not, I hope your enjoying the peace and quiet of the night

Peace be with you, streaming the love

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

<p>Good morning&nbsp;<li-user login="Mazarita" uid="1848"></li-user>&nbsp;:)</p>
<p>So glad the inspection is over now. It's such a relief when that stress has gone. Is it a six monthly inspection?</p>
<p>I remember when the flat was looking like it would be sold, and how hard that was. I find the relief of signing another 12 month lease huge too. There's always going to be some uncertainty with renting, so minimising it with a shiny fresh new lease, helps.</p>
<p>Thanks for your support with my housing issues too. I have about 10 weeks until some of this stuff will definitely come to an end, one way or another. Just hoping now that in the next 10 weeks, there is something we can do for the end to mean getting out of here. Either way though, that uncertainty will come to an end soon enough.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It's a weekend morning (obviously) which means less traffic here making the birds sound even louder! The mornings in this house are so special - it's been a very long time since I have lived somewhere with so many birds, and even though we've been here for most of the year now, it still makes me happy every day. I have a feeling it would be the same wherever we go around this area too. Such a nice treat.</p>
<p>I hope the day ahead is good for you :)</p>
<p></p>

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Former-Member, @CheerBear and everyone,

Niqua, I was sleeping peacefully when you left your message last night. In fact I only had one awakening overnight and was only up for about half an hour at that time. So, feeling more refreshed this morning. Only trouble is I've woken with pain in my lower back and legs, possibly sciatica, probably from sleeping in an awkward position. If it's not one thing it's the other with me! But my mood is okay for now anyway, which is at least half the battle in my world. Hope you are still on a high from camping and that it keeps on keeping on. Streaming the love (not 'steaming' it, as I mistyped in some earlier posts, lol).

CB, it's a three monthly inspection on the place here. Too regular for my liking but it is what it is. Yes, the fresh new lease will be a big relief, especially because there has been some uncertainty about the owner possibly wanting to sell. One of the issues here on the GC is that there is a very low percentage of properties on the market at any time compared to vacancy rates in other cities. This means the rents keep getting pushed up way beyond any increase to income. This seems to be particularly noticable in the leadup to the Commonwealth Games here. I keep thinking that if we can stay where we are until after the Commonwealth Games, things might not be so scary. On the other hand, the real estate industry is in the business of artificially inflating rents at any time, anywhere, so it may make no difference to the difficulty really. These are the kinds of anxiety ridden thoughts that bubble just below the surface in an ongoing way in relation to housing. I think it's a disgrace that housing is left to the vagaries and exploitation of the free market. It's such a basic need for all Australians, it should not be so open slather on who can access it. Okay, rant about that over. I got angry while writing! So many things about this society make me angry, impotent rage mostly.

I really hope your new place comes up within the 10 weeks, CB. Glad that, at the least, there will be some uncertainty resolved by that time. Even though there are problems with where you live, it's great that you are able to appreciate the bird life there, and find joy in that. Despite my anger about the state of housing in this country, I too find much to appreciate wherever I live really. Up too late for the birds today, though. Enjoying the early birds vicariously through you today.

Hope everyone reading finds something to smile about today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita wondering if you're up and about at this time?

I hear you about the rental housing situation. In the past the law stated that agents could only put the rent up in line with CPI and average market rent for the no. of bedrooms in the area. There is a Tenants' Union that can advise you on this and tell you your rights. But then there is the fact that the RE agents have the power and if you push an issue they can put a mark against you when it comes to lease renewal. A tricky situation.

3 monthly for the inspection is not fair when you're good long-term tenants. What a shame you can't feel you are secure there. That's one of the reasons I went into public housing up north. The long-term security (and consequent stability and reduction of stress) outweighed any issues with neighbour's behaviour etc. That wasn't why I moved south.

Looking forward to connecting with you. I've had a big couple of days and haven't been on the forums much at all, but bro and sil have gone away for a week so I'll be here more.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, sorry I missed you about an hour ago by the looks of it. I haven't been to sleep yet tonight, video editing. Sometimes it seems like I just have to do the creative stuff in the late hours. I'm going with it this night.

I want to try to change my attitude to my housing situation. I think I am catastrophising it. I enjoy where I live too, but I get worried at times. Perhaps it's a feeling of greater vulnerability as I'm getting a little bit older too. But I've felt very vulnerable with housing at times throughout my life. But, again, I feel I want to lose the fear as much as possible. And I'm not into anger either, though I seem to hold a fair bit inside (and occasionally have a ranty burst, like this morning).

Cool that you get some more solo time while bro and sil are away. What have you been up to these past days? I had a gratuitous shower today. By that I mean I didn't have any external reason to have one (such as going out), just did it because I knew I would feel better for it. Believe it or not, that might be a breakthrough. I do feel better for it too.

Well I might just post this little rave and see if you are still around. Anyway, glad to chat again, even if not in real time. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita Still around but only for about another 10 min. Getting ready for a teleconference call to Alaska at 4am. With White Eagle.

I totally get the feelings you have about housing lack of security. It's really good for us to be able to put roots down sometime. If you knew my real name you'd get the pun! But I'm serious here and I do understand.

Over the last 2 days I've seen the psychiatrist, taken a trip to Gosford, done major groceries, gardening and lots of online research into Greek myths for my latest story writing exercise. Sleeping early in the evening and studying on waking instead of coming onto the forums. Have had about 2 1/2 hours tonight but will get more after the teleconference.

I always crave our raves when it's been a couple of days missing them If I don't hear back now I'll look for you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, just got your message. Will reply after this more but just wanted to say have a wonderful time with the call.

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