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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs, @eth. I understand how triggering that might be. Sounds dreadful having to wait for the door buzzer to be answered too, very unfortunate timing. Hope there's a good balance today of things to distract and time to process for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. Just popped out for dawn and I can feel my energy coming back. Have a couple of things to work on before the skype with the kids, then space for some rest before the support worker hopefully turns up in time to get to the psychiatrist. Hoping we'll then have some time left to get to the chemist. Bro is away and sil has been to sick to take me shopping or anything so I need to get there today.

Support worker doesn't return my calls or confirm times in advance like the previous one did. I find this very frustrating and will try to gently ask her to do so today. Wishing I didn't have to, but sil is encouraging me to try. If it goes awry she will ring the co-ordinator for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry my responses are slow @Mazarita.

I'm re-reading '10 messages from your soul' from White Eagle while we converse. There are exercises in it and I'm working up a list of things that nourish my soul. This can also go into my WRAP so it's a very helpful exercise. Also helping me re-focus on the positive after yesterday. Yesterday was a reminder of the healing work I need to do to enhance recovery, and just how far I still have to go.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, your positive momentum in general at the moment seems strong, even after being rocked yesterday. Sounds to me like you've really got it worked out how to care for yourself with this.

My old support worker would only ring on the day to confirm. I know how it can be hard to approach things like asking for changes. Good that you have a backup plan for that too.

I think I'm going to have to return to bed. I'm finding myself \with my head in my arms on the desk, drifting off between posts. Take it easy today. I know you will be kind to yourself. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ok @Mazarita have a good rest and I hope you wake up feeling ready for the jobs you want to do. Sorry if this chat has been too much me about me. Take care and hugs ooo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not at all too much about you, @eth. Always love chatting.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gidday Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

Firstly I want to confess I didn't make it to the bathtub yesterday, I had to go to the library and get some entertainment otherwise I would have had nothing to watch that evening {and I'm glad I did 'cause I got a couple of good ones! :D} and while I'm out I always take us for a walk - time got away and it was too cool when we returned for fur to dry 😉 But I definately hear you - today's another day 😄

I'm glad you went to your art group and felt good about being there again 🙂 Maybe the reason you like the feeling of slowly getting to know the other participants better, is because I think that's the way you make friends 🙂 . . . only your doing it in real life! Well done 🙂 Love the story about your young art teacher, that is so often the way, somebody that's really good at what they do . . . gets there by accident (or the will of the Universe, however you want to look at it :))

Woah a 3 km walk! She's flying! I think stopping over at the op shop and doing a little retail therapy might be helpful? I love those shops, I can't see the sense in paying full price! And besides, I think this old hippy doesn't get today's fashion - I think it's boring! 😄 Much better chance of getting some bright colours and different styles from somebody else rejecting it because it's 'out dated 🙂

Yay for the video, adding to an overall good day And more to the point, Yay for you! overcoming the emotional torment that physical symptoms won't let you forget - that's so much harder than words can express

Streaming the love, beaming the pride

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Niqua, having read what you wrote in another thread since your last post here, I'm guessing by now that you and the dogs will have sparkly duckies smiling at you from all angles. Yay!!

You are right about me tending to make friends in real life slowly these days. Friendships sometimes seem to me to have a kind of non-sexual infatuation at the start, similar to that first couple of months in a romance. I don't really trust that instant 'BFF forever' vibe. I've discovered that it's only after that initial couple of months of 'romance', that you really start to get to know each other as friends. And it's only time that tells whether the 'reality' is truly compatible or not. I do appreciate longevity in a friendship a lot. And I appreciate too that you guessed that, just more testament to what a perceptive and intelligent person you are. But forum time is different to real time and I already feel like you and I have been friends for ages now.

Op shops, oh yes, I so agree about preferring them to the fashion styles. So much more variety, often better quality fabrics and just all round general more fun. I love my op shop wardrobe. I also like that recycling clothes is better for the environment.

I have a headache, feel sick in the stomach and only woke up after about 12 hours sleep at 1pm, dammit. It's the last day I have to do some cleaning for the flat before the inspection tomorrow. I've done nothing all week on this, except let it oppress me. I have to at least do my room, bathroom, desk areas and the final touches to the flat overall before property manager arrives between 8 and 10 tomorrow. It's not much but at the moment I am an immovable object on it. Might pick up some energy when C comes home and starts bustling about, sometimes that's contagious. I know I will get something done before the end of the day. Tomorrow I will be up early to do the final touches. Our property manager is fussy and is always sending around emails about how to clean and look after the household. And, even though it says clearly on the rental authority board's website that these inspections are not meant to be inspections of housekeeping... in reality, they are.

Hope today is more fun for you than it is here today! Steaming love, Mazy ox

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita wondering whether you are about at this wee hour?

Hopefully you're sleeping but if not I'm here.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita

Just stopping past to wish you well for your inspection today. I feel for you with it today, they're not fun at all.

I hope it goes smoothly and you're able to relax or unwind from it this afternoon.

Thinking of you 💗
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