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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

True, @Appleblossom. Driving needs a reason for me. Didn't get my licence until I was 31, and that was so I could do more complicated film-making that involved travelling to different places. Used to be a confident driver. Now I'm very rattled by cars. I think it's also that the meds may have had an affect on my ability to do that particular task.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom youve no need to apologise. I didn't think you were being direct just simply asking a question. Sometimes my brain goes a thousand miles an hr then slams on the breaks
. Stupid thing should think before act 😞

How are you tonight anyways? Any plans for tomorrow?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh that is good @Mazarita did you end up at your friends and walking in the nature reserve?
I agree computer is better than phone but ilike the comfort of my bed lol so phone it is!
Is something bothering you tonight that got you worried about sleep?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I got licence at 25 and friend lent me his car so I could drive baby around. He was one of my mechanical mates so I could talk more like a boy than a girl. lol ... I spent the last 30 years driving mostly rattled, but toughed it out cos of kids. I think cos of all the early bike riding ... I had very tuned senses and triggers. When I said I could not drive or it was not safe to drive hmmmm. It was not an option ... no one believed me ... mother, husband or kids ...

So with all the dissing of mothers ... in my generation we were supposed to operate on freeways at 100 kph with bubbas in the back. My mother and earlier mothers did not have to deal with stressors like that. I'd say it rates .. .along with having dinosaurs around as predators .. now my son finally realises that my neck and stress might actually make a legit difference .. so we never argue over that stuff. It was never his fault.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry, @Appleblossom, @outlander, I've been missing posts while drafting my own. Replies might seem out of order.

Outlander, I did end up at my friend's place, got there about 2pm and stayed until C picked me up on the way home about 5. No nature walk, mainly because my friend's brother was out at the doctor's when I arrived, has been sick and running a high fever. They sent him to the hospital, so the afternoon was kind of taken up with that as my friend was worried about her brother. Nothing particularly bothering me. Just don't want to go to sleep yet. How about you?

Apple, you've done tough miles. I wouldn't diss mothers. I think it's one of the hardest jobs in the world.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I was not meaning you or this thread (re mother dissing), but it happens often enough on the forum for good reasons as people try and work through major life experiences.

I also try and see it from the position of motherhood. Maybe the tek boys will put us out of that job, but not for a while yet, Its a universal human situation.

I started mothering with EVERBODY doing a lot of mother dissing ...

Thanks for just being there and the friendship over the years....

and you are a new friend @outlander Ta Muchly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ah yes, I see what you mean there too, @Appleblossom. I've certainly done a fair bit of dissing of my own mother over the years. I appreciate her much more now that I'm older. She's an amazing woman.

Thank you for the long friendship too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry about your friend's brother. @Mazarita. It is always difficult, but I am sure it was better with your company.

I am eating dinner atm ... ossobucco and veg ... hearty. I cooked it but My son dished it up and has gone to play piano, but its musical.

Sometimes he has focussed his anger through playing, but not atm.it is beautiful. There is not point trying to restrict his timing. It only causes him stress.

Its been hard, I dont think I would still be here without the forum. thats @eth @PeppiPatty @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope and lots more.

Most of the time these days I sleep nights. I will get my meds.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom, beautiful that you are hearing lovely music from your son. Your ossobucco sounds yum.

I may be drifting in to the one all nighter, one day down kind of rhythm with my sleep again, now that I'm no longer taking the med that had me almost completely knocked out for some weeks. Even being able to do what I did today is some measure of improvement, glad of it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Finding meds that allow some life is important.

@Mazarita

I read your post on another thread @outlander with @Corny

Tough times, but. Go Gently with you ...

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