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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander love to chat.

I just went off to look after the slow cook. We are on topsy turvy time tonight. I went to the butcher but so tired after car mucking around that I needed to go online for an hour before i did tea ... which needed the slow cook ... just as well my son is on topsy turvy time ... he is happy to munch on it through the wee hours.

Mostly I have kept dinner between 6-7, not tonight ...

Is your pop back home?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats ok ive eaten all hrs of the night when im alone when pops home usually between 5 and 7 @Appleblossom both u and your son sound like easy going people though.

Yeah pops been home since this morning

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Neither of us want to make things harder for the other.

Does your pop realise how bad it has been for you lately?

@outlander

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, @outlander

Apple, good to hear the flooding problem has been solved.

Sorry August is a hard time for you. The weather where you are probably wouldn't make it easier.

I can't afford to run a car. That's aside from my phobia about driving these days. I think I'd only consider trying to do that again if I moved to the country.

Outlander, good to see you on another lateish night. Do you feel better in the house with pop around now?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No @Appleblossom i cant talk to anyone. I just get in trouble and everything becomes even worse. Its better to keep my mouth shut to keep whatever sanity ive got left.
Ive got myself into quite a state tonight. Cant seem to do the right thing and be a good person. No idea where to turn as its going to end making things hard for me or hard for someone else. I have the urge to go fix things tonight but wont.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Appleblossom just ignore me. Youve enough troubles to deal with

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah @Mazarita its much better being at home in my own bed. Less triggers and feel abit more comfortable too.

How are you? Are you still on your phone?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was terrified I would lose my son since he was in grade 4 without running a car. So not an option. Lots of sneery/jeery mentions of incompetence etc ... and former court cases with the oldests' mother and emotional set ups to the loss of my daughter.

In many ways I would have liked to ditch driving @Mazarita, you know I had a year off. At that time I was feeling pressured and could not slow down, just a little bit over. Was relieved to lose licence and walk to and from station and son could see car in driveway and know I was doing it legally. Better for fitness and my neck strain. He was old enough to do a bit more walking too. Now its about sustainable transport choices and mechanical realities. Skills for life.

Parenting has responsibilities attached, even when they are over 21.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The desktop is plugged in again now that the work's finished, @outlander. I feel so much better at the desktop.

Great that you are more comfortable at home.

I'm fine tonight, though I've been tired all day and still am. But reluctant to sleep just yet.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

See thats why I have lots of time for you. @outlander

You catch yourself, and are more mature about what you write than many people twice your age. We both know that kind of stinking thinking wont fix things. I use the same tough tone too..

I am glad @Mazarita butted in. I was too direct. Sorry.

Wish you find one day that you do matter. @outlander

Its best to have reduced triggers .. so at least you are aware ....

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