FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

12,241 - 12,250 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe some time to absorb it will help @Mazarita. Thank you for reminding me of that.

I can see how applying earlier rather than later on could have really helped you. I tried so hard and have been since the big bang, to do everything I could without it and I messed myself up trying. This is like the ultimate test/form of acceptance. I can't do what I want and what I need, and I don't do "can't do" well. I live in "I can" land but unfortunately that "can" only exists in an incredibly limited bubble I try to live within. This whole process on a personal level, has been about recognising and examining that.

This is good news. Really, really good news. I can survive now and maybe with time, as much time as I need, and support that I will fight for with the NDIS if I have to, I can expand that bubble some more. Maybe without the stress and pressure in some ways and with some security, that bubble will grow too.

Biggest hugs and hugest thanks for being here this morning. I so appreciate you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm so happy to be here to share the news with you, @CheerBear. Sounds like you might be taking some time to yourself now, and I should probably head towards bed again. Hugs again and enjoy this as much as you can!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm going to sit with these feelings and my coffee for a while and absorb it all.

I had a feeling that letter would come through in the tiny hours (just in weeks/months not right now). How I might process and manage that has been going around my head so much. I was hoping that it may coincide with a morning you were online as I knew you'd get it, whatever the outcome was. I'm so thankful you were here. This will be a morning I won't forget.

Thank you again. I hope sleep is good for you @Mazarita. Big hugs and sweet dreams xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @PeppiPatty @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @The-red-centaur and anyone else around today. Just wanted to drop off some warm wishes to all here before I go back and catch up on everyone's news since lunch time yesterday. Sounds like a couple of you have had good news and a few of you are not doing so well. Hope today is turning into a better one for everyone.

My psychologist also cancelled for today (she's sick) and my support worker has been stopped and the coordinator of supports couldn't come this morning either so I've got a day of no comitments after all. Will probably spend some time looking for support workers on-line and checking out the NDIS myplace portal on the mygov website, but not up to it yet. I would have slept in if I'd known the CoS wasn't coming at 9 as arranged. May do some more snoozing at some stage.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty just caught up on your big decision. I'm hoping things improve with Mr in time and you are able to defer so that you have a chance to continue your uni course at some stage.

@The-red-centaur sending you strength and courage. We care about you here.

@Mazarita sounds like yesterday improved for you. I'm glad to hear that. And hoping you feel up to going to the gallery opening tomorrow night - I know you felt better for getting there last time. Hope today is good to you.

@CheerBear WOOHOO about being approved! It's great news and I agree with @Mazarita that it will likely make life much better for you. I'm on it too, have been for several years. I understand having mixed feelings about it tho'. But I firmly believe the pro's outweigh the con's. Knowing it's coming in means you can actually budget rather than just having to pay the next most important bill. And perhaps you can now get rent assistance too. Sitting with you and ready to hug you or celebrate with you as the news sinks in.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @Exoplanet. Sorry I don't always remember all the names I want to tag. How's today going for you so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth. Sorry to hear that your plans have had to change for today. It frustrates me when that happens, even though I understand things sometimes don't work out the way we plan.

Hope you can go gently with the search for support workers. It all sounds potentially pretty overwhelming. Wish I could have a look and a talk it through with you!

Thank you for your understanding with the mixed feelings I have today also. I feel a bit all over the place and really weird. I don't know what this feeling/s is so I'm just sitting and trying to work out how to process, if there's anyway to do that. I know it is relief - enormous relief and a huge stress will not be there anymore. It should feel really great but it doesn't just yet. It feels very jumbly but it'll sink in eventually though surely! Thank you for the hug and the woohoo. I have a quiet 'I think I can woohoo at this' maybe sneaking in 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear what you are feeling is similar to how I felt about getting NDIS approval so I understand it. It's like the end of a struggle but the start of a new, potentially scary, phase of life. There will be an adjustment period. There will be change. There is the unknown vs. the known you have been used to.

When I first got the DSP I was mostly just relieved as it was more than the Sole Parent Pension plus Carer Allowance that I had previously been getting. But I was still also very nervous about learning to work with a new budget and a new system of reporting requirements etc.

As I said, sitting with you and hoping you can feel my support xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Definitely feeling the support and the understanding @eth, thank you. It means so much to have ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth @CheerBear .... heading out for breakfast .... lol .... late start here today.

12,241 - 12,250 of 27,230