FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

12,211 - 12,220 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: New Post: Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear sorry to hear that you've had NDIA mail that's sent you even lower. I totally know the feeling. Hoping your quiet day is helping soothe you. I hear you about letting your support people do the leg work for now. I didn't have any support the first 6 months of trying to get on but then my sil got involved with me and things progressed - first the supporting evidence hoop - knocked back - then a request for review of their decision (internal review) - knocked back - then appealed through the AAT (Administrative Appeals Tribunal) at which time we got a Disability Advocate (free in every state) who also got a legal aid lawyer for me. Because I had recently moved from the NT to NSW I had no MH support people to rely on - I really hope they do a good job for you. All of which is to say I'm here for you, I've been there, and if there's any way I can support you do please let me know.

@Mazarita Good on you for getting stuck into your washing today. I actually made it into the shower and washed my hair. Sleeping in day clothes and not changing for 3 or 4 days is also something I do, all too often. Hope you're having a nice visit with your friend now.

I found out my PHaMs worker has been cancelled for good. Her boss was meant to communicate with sil before he axed her. Sil has had to ring him from her work to have it confirmed. So push comes to shove - I really need to find new supports. I have a coordinator of supports (NDIS funded) now but am finding it a frustratingly slow process. So in a different way CB I am trying to let go and let the CoS do the job.

My psychologist is also sick this week so that's cancelled for tomorrow too.

In the meanwhile my needs fall back on my family in a way that has been demonstrated to be unsustainable.

This seems to be the other shoe dropping that I've been anticipating and not in a good way.

In response to: Re: New Post: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, it really sucks that your old Phams organisation has been so extremely unhelpful at this point. May it be only a small gap in support worker services before the next ones are in place. It seems it won't be long that sil and bro need to help in small ways for you just now. I'm hoping they will be understanding. Hugs for needing to seek their help. I know how much you want to free of these worries.

I was at the bus stop near my friend's place when I posted to you, @PeppiPatty. Still thinking about your big news. Hoping that all works out for the best.

Today I was with my friend for about 2 hours. She picked me up and I caught the last bus home. As anticipated, it was great to be out of the flat again and we had a pleasant time together.

So relieved I got some washing done earlier. Tomorrow for a shower, and maybe some more washing (there's still 2-3 loads to do).

Tomorrow night C and I may be getting off the Coast to a country town about an hour from here. We've been invited to another art opening (at the same gallery as last time). If we make it, we will see a friend we have in that town, and get to see again his friend, the gallery curator, who we met last time.

I'm hoping we make it but I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't bring myself to do it when it gets closer to the time. When I feel as down and fragile as I do just now, I sometimes get too anxious for socialising, or too depressed for an event like that, where I feel the need to be more switched on. Keep fingers crossed for us!

Hi to anyone around, hope your evening flows smoothly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, feeling you under the like button. Wondering how your day has panned out. Hoping the evening is kind.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita. That's really exciting about possibly heading out tomorrow night, though understanding how big that may be especially at the moment. I have my fingers crossed for you.

At 3pm my afternoon always takes a more active turn Maz, which kind of makes me get out of any rut I have been in during the day. We had a school mum and her plus three over for a little while this afternoon. It was loud and hectic but the kids all really enjoyed it. I have a homemade vegetable pie in the oven and am enjoying that I won't have a mad dinner rush tonight, so it should be fairly cruisy from here (there is also a show the kids want to watch on later that I can use as an "if you want to watch it you need to..." kind of 'incentive' haha!).

Better head back out though. I swear I say the word "crusiy" and a moment later something chaotic always happens! Hope your evening goes well ❤

Hugs for you @PeppiPatty.

@eth sorry to hear things aren't working out so well at the moment. It can be so unsettling when supports are wonky. Thank you heaps for your understanding and for sharing your journey as you do. I really appreciate that you do that and your support ❤

Catch you all later ☺

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

you know girls it's a huge relief.I have a tendency to push myelf to put myself in huge stress. I'm sorry but will write again in a couple of hours about it.

How are you @eth & @CheerBear

@Mazarita @outlander@Appleblossom

xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

evening everyone @PeppiPatty @eth @CheerBear @Mazarita @Exoplanet

hoping the day has treated you reasonably well

hoping your going ok @Bunniekins thinking of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, I'm here in ad breaks of Seinfeld. It's been a relatively good day here. Hope yours has been okay.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear you have some feeling of relief with your decision @PeppiPatty.

Thanks @outlander. Hoping your day has been OK or better than OK also ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

its been an 'eh' day but ill take that its better than bad @Mazarita @CheerBear

Mazy- im glad your days been ok and hoping your enjoying Seinfield. im watching the big bang therory atm.

CB- i seen your loveley blanket youve started making. it is a shame you cant send it through the screen to me. i would love one of your blankets!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs for the "eh" @outlander. I would love to send you one my creations. I have found myself imagining things I wish I could send to people here through this screen lots 😊
12,211 - 12,220 of 27,230