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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats a good way to chill abit @Mazarita is there a trigger thats sey your moods off abit? Maybe the changein meds?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, @outlander. It's means a lot to me that today is my first day of not taking anti-psychotic meds for over five years. But I'm also feeling the effects of missing the dose. It will settle down as it washes out of my system over the next week or so. I'm hoping I will start sleeping less too.

I'm going off to watch Seinfeld now, and then a bunch of Big Bang Theories. Hope you get some relaxation time after dinner and enjoy the rest of it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy the rest of your evening @Mazarita its really great that youve gotten to the point of going off a med 🙂 ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear how your feelinig tonight @Mazarita and hoping your mantra is helping. I like it.

Spent a while having a fb conversation with my Mum this afternoon and kind of let loose on her. She sent me a message telling me wrongly how I must be feeling and I told her what I actually feel. And got stuck into her about the type of ways she communicates that really push my buttons. As usual she didn't get it and brought up lots of things about her intentions mattering more than how she affects the person she says things to. I was so angry after a while that I just stopped replying and she carried on a bit more. It's true that I'm 55 and she's 78 as she said but I've told her I'm over just being submissive around her and the ways she undermines the work I do to manage my MH challenges. I'm raving on but you probably get the picture. It's the 2nd wave of sheer anger I've had recently triggered by communication with her. No doubt influenced by having spent this week's psychology session talking about traumas in our family history. And the way she rewrites history to put a gloss on it that's total bs. And condescends to me if I demonstrate that I'm capable of independent thinking and don't buy her line. And talks about me with others who let me know about it. She seems to think I'm not even capable of managing my own finances. Rant over.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope you feel less blue soon.

me when I’m coming out a little but still hiding under the like button 🙂 (notice the confused and I’m just lying here with the I’ve got nothing look 😳)

hi @Mazarita, @outlander, @CheerBear, @eth, @Exoplanet and all coming this way.

Im ok. Not much to say really. It’s a horrid cold wet windy day here and I haven’t ventured outside much. Been cleaning up the kitchen and doing jigsaw puzzles. Dog is unhappy, I’ve braved the weather most days but not today. Still in my pjs and uggies contemplating a shower 🤭 and cooking something for tea. I didn’t get to sleep until 7:30 this morning and then was up to feed dog at 8:30, then got another two hours sleep.

Oh Cheerbear I did smile at your news. Big huge grins actually 😁.

Well done Maz on your productive day although sorry you aren’t feeling so great now.

Exoplanet so good that you are still onwards and upwards with fencing and life stuff.👍

sounds like another bust day @outlander.

My friend took me out to see mumma Mia 2 yesterday which was just gorgeously daggy and light corny entertainment and fun. You can’t go past a gorgeous middle aged cast hamming it up and not taking themselves too seriously (Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Julie Waters made me laugh). Apart from that my weekend has been dog and me.....read dog needing to touch me or play 24/7.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Teej
its nice to see you. your sounding in need of abit more sleep though!
nothing wrong pj and uggie boots days.
i want to see mumma mia 2 i seen part 1 and it was pretty good.
hows your evening looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Quiet @outlander, just me and dog. Will try to cook something soon and maybe do a bit more house work. How about you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

quiet is good @Teej
ive still got siblings till about 7ish so after that shower is on the cards but other than that not alot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dropping off lots of these 💗💚💛 here

For the depressed and fragile state @Mazarita. Hugs. I had a moment this morning when you came into mind and I had a feeling of wanting to reach out to you and send you a big hug and my thoughts. Glad you had some enjoyable company and the weather was so nice. Still a bit glowy here 😉😊

@eth sorry to hear about your frustrations and hurt (I am guessing?) with your mother. Sounds long, hard, and complicated. Do youj have/do anything that helps settle those feelings afterwards? Big ugh, sorry.

@outlander thank you for your lovely message earlier. Hope siblings have been good for you and you have a relaxing/enjoyable evening if that's possible.

@Teej so good to see you. I'm kind of glad you caught my little news from last night/this morning too and thank you for sharing the big grins ☺). One of mine has recently fallen in love with ABBA and we've had Mumma Mia and the soundtrack on as often as they can squeeze it in. It's feel goody and made me smile to think of you and friend seeing it together. Hope dog is being nice company for you.

❤ for all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear 💜

to tell the truth my dog is driving me crazy. Was just on pet rescue site looking for a companion for him. I can’t really afford it. He is like a hyperactive toddler, and is really needy. I know he’d be so much better with another dog companion but I’m not in a position to get one. This dog won’t even go outside by himself. I have to go with him 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:.

@eth we must have been posting at the same time. I’m sorry you had that interaction. Those relationships can be so hard if the other person won’t change or acknowledge things. Thinking of you and feeling your frustration...anger at that situation.

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