FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

11,601 - 11,610 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Twinklelight, lovely that you are having your daughter's birthday today. Though I hear you on when people judge us. Especially when they are family and we would hope they might be more supportive. Glad it's not too long for you. How old is your daughter?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet, feeling you under the like button too! How are you this morning, dear heart? ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

she is 8 now @Mazarita

she has grown so much. when she was a baby, one day after taking her home , i nearly lost her. i wont say what happened because it might destressing to others, but it scared the shit out of me and i thought she was going to die. and the ambo didnt come until 20 minutes later. but she got through it. and im so happy to have her in my life. i love all my kids so much

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

Thinking of you @Bunniekins Mazy's right Crohn's is not the end of the World, it can be treated & managed; but even the most balanced minds would feel a low of depression being told about it. I believe the bond of love between you & your son will help ease the burden in time

@PeppiPattyMr Budda is very lucky to have you helping him

@CheerBearAs I read about your big day my head began to spin! You did extremely well Maybe the break helped replenish your energy & strength? I think your doing a very hard but the right thing with your friend . . . & yourself - & your children & everyone around you I'm amazed you can have all that going on & still notice the pink grey clouds high up above you in the early morning light 🙂

@ethYay for the vacuming, excercise & creativity 😄 I think you've got this - giving your brain a break from the wracking it's been bombared with for so long

@AppleblossomYou're so brave!!! I hope you enjoyed the crowdfunded launch you attended

@Teej

@Sophia1

My magical Mazy @Mazarita, Hoping the physical discomfort is lessening every moment & as it does so, your mood is lifted. Love you

@outlanderLoads of love & stinky smokers kisses to you

My mission today is to head over to the next town over & return my weekly DVDs, I'm not going to take more out as I've started Netflix & will see if it isn't too taxing on my download - if it isn't, it actually works out cheaper than weekly DVDs 😮 I'll take the puppies for a walk somewhere while we're out & might even grab some take aways?!? Though I have to go back to that town tomorrow for an appointment with a very patient lady that I actually missed last week {she was very good about it}. Though before I do any of that I'm seriously considering getting the U-beaut hot water system going & getting us all clean 🙂 😮 !!! I got the clothes washing done & hung up yesterday & have a very vague idea of picking up a broom {but I doubt I'm going to rush that one ;)}

Hoping today treats everyone kindly

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So glad she pulled through and that you can now celebrate her eighth birthday, @Twinklelight

How many children do you have? I have none, missed that boat many years ago. It's okay though, I have other things in my life. I'm sure they don't really make up for how meaningful it is to have children. But I get by with my close friends, mum and interests.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello again @Bunniekins

I spotted two sheep from the office window and then a few cows..they moved away as I attempted to take a photograph..

so here are today's efforts....

I will keep an eagle eye out for when they are on our fenceline together...

these are too far away I know.,,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet, yes, I am feeling better moment by moment today, both on the physical and mental levels.

How great that you have started Netflix. Keeping everything crossed it's easy on your downloads. We have only free TV here and whatever we can get on USB sticks from friends.

Really glad to hear you are still seeing the patient lady. Those sessions seem to have really helped you out of a dark place, into this place now where you are doing so many good things with your days.

Love you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So glad to hear your feeling better bit by bit Mazy @Mazarita Oh my goodness you'd love Netflix . . . it's got every version of Star Trek known to man on it!!!! Trouble is, I've seen them all, so I started watching a new version of 'Lost in Space' & . . . it's got me 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've seen all the Star Treks too, @Exoplanet. In some cases, several times! Doesn't stop me watching them again, lol.

Glad you are into the new Lost in Space. I watched the first episode (from USB), but it didn't grab me, though I used to watch the old one when it was on TV as a kid. These days I guess I'm a Star Trek purist, lol. Sometimes I watch Big Bang Theory, Seinfeld reruns and occasional other things. TV is not a big part of my life these days though, except as something I hear a lot while I'm sitting here at the computer and C is watching something. He's more into it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i have 3 kids @Mazarita

thats ok. not everyone has to have kids.

11,601 - 11,610 of 27,230