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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@The-red-centaur congrats on the name change 😄 My daughter couldn't wait to change her name 🙂 That is great that the psych meds are taking effect at long last so that you can start to concentrate on hormone treatments. I bet you are super happy about that 😄 Great that you have some support along the way in rl (never enough I know) and you know you will always have heaps of support here 😄 xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Still only had about 2 hours sleep in the armchair. Now getting on to 4pm. Really quite sick. Headache has eased a bit with the little sleep. But still there is pain pulsing in my head, which is banged around again by the six fillings I had in one go yesterday. And being up all night in paranoia, afraid to go to sleep for the stream of obsessive thoughts that was taking over my brain.

Nonethless just had a nice phone call with mum, she was a nurse most of her working life and gave me some basic tips on self care, that were welcome. Texted C to bring home some Gatorade if he can, to try to restore electrolyte balance, might ease the headache and nausea.

Hope the day has been more fun for others. I'm okay regardless and will probably recover within another day or so, I think (hope).

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @eth

Do I have regrets? I used to own a home ...very little mortgage but lost it all when a relative who first went on the HIV medication conned me into selling it and spending the money to live.It was when I was extremely vulnerable and my son was very very ill from a brain tumor. He is fine now. He is a brilliant trouper for what he's been through.

a couple of weeks ago,,,, I posted my dream that I had on Quora. I got back 2 responses from Psychotherapists in America, saying practically the same thing and I felt....this is true. This is true. I am the poorest I've ever been.

I am the happiest I have ever been.

My life is good.

I

ve been in public housing since 2006, May.It was like Jesus was looking down on me and my husband when we got the homes west place where we live now. The thought of owning a home will not happen for many years, probably in my sons' life but I dont care anymore.......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita sorry to hear you still haven't slept much and are still in pain and crook. Hopefully you'll get a better sleep tonight and wake up feeling a lot better. Great that you can get C to pick something up for you on his way home. Can you talk with him about the situation that kept you awake last night? I'm sorry if my blat about what I went through was inappropriate earlier.

@The-red-centaur my adult child also changed their name and feels their new name really suits their identity now. They first came 'out' about 5 years ago now, but suffered dysphoria since a young child. It was such a relief to them when they discovered the language to describe their reality. They were on T for a year but went off it to conceive a 2nd child, now 30 weeks into the pregnancy. They will go back on T after the chest feeding is done and plan to have top surgery in the future as they won't have any more children after this. I totally support them and am really glad to hear your Dad is supporting you. It makes such a difference I think to have some family acceptance. Just getting those close to you to use appropriate language is a major challenge. I'm very glad to see you are getting some support here. There are a couple of threads on this topic if you enter 'transgender' into the search bar.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry you are not well @Mazarita It was great you listened to your feelings and rescheduled the appointment. No point going to the doctor and getting sicker while doing it. Hope things look up after more self nurture.

@Bunniekins @The-red-centaur @Exoplanet

Yay @eth Cool!

In the 1960s lived in a few terraces in Potts Point after I came out of the orphanages (one on Glebe Point rd). My years in Potts Point from 7-9 with both parents as a single child gave me a groundedness and helped me develop an identity based on loving beaches, walking and exploring.

One Sydney trip with my son, we actually stayed in the same row of terraces changed into a trendy backpackers. Not trendy when I was there .. lol ..but .. still good to share that with him.

Cheers ... al long ravers!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap @PeppiPatty! It's good to hear you are happy in your current home. And great to hear your son has recovered. Hoping your Mr is less grumpy today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Cheers Appleblossom you are one tough chick :)xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom I think I know where you mean on G Pt Rd. Yes a lot of it has been transformed by now. Your time at Potts Point sounds like a highlight of your childhood. Nice that you have that experience to look back on. You do such a good job of staying strong and getting out in the world.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazzy missed your message re being so sick earlier on. So sorry hope you start to feel a bit better soon. Love the pea xxxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth, @Appleblossom

Slowly eating bits of food now to try to keep up some strength and give my body some grounding.

I'm going to relax back into my armchair at 4.30 to watch Star Trek, might fall asleep during it. C coming home will be a good feeling.

I lived in Sydney for a about a year a long time ago, around Kings Cross/Darlinghurst and then Annandale.

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