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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Stupid me missed the bus by a minute. I was walking up to the bus stop when it went past. I'm so Fn angry at myself. Dysphoria wouldn't let me wear anything because it made me look too girly. I gave up when I realised the time but it was too late. I really hate being trans and not 'passing' properly. I hate being a stupid girl. I'm going to be late to my Dr now and my day will be ruined. Grrrrrr

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @The-red-centaur sorry to hear how you're feeling. Hope you manage to get to your appointment. My adult child is transgender too (was previously female and is now non-binary) so I understand dysphoria and 'passing'. If you ever want to talk about it with me you can. They are at the stage of having changed all their official documents and even doing drag king performances and I've been supporting them all the way through their journey so maybe I can be a good support for you. Take care x

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth@Mazarita Thanks eth and Maz the leg is alot better today went for a lil walk and can get up and off the chair without too much trouble 🙂 I just feel so stupid that it happened the way it did never mind at least is is nothing serious.:)

eth living in a Glebe terrace house would have been fantastic! and then to go on a manic adventure would have been super exciting too!. I love the sound of your lil cabin now though and that you have the company of your bro and sil too is very important. Funny how things end up you never know what is around the corner 🙂

Hope you both have a wonderful day today and that includes @The-red-centaur@Exoplanet and everyone else that passes this way! xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth thanks.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello my magical Mazy @Mazarita

Today I'm going to get the battery out of the farm car & back on the secondary solar system {it doesn't take long}, as I went & picked up a bunch of old wooden planks that have been lying on the ground long enough for the whites ants to start getting into them - no good as planks anymore, but will make perfectly good firewood 🙂 I get a phone call {automatic, not a real person on the line} from the library when one of my ordered DVDs have come in & I got one this morning - so I'll go into town & pick it up, taking the puppies for a walk on the way there or back . . . might even go to a different favourtie spot, other than the local forest. Plus lots of resting 🙂 I do make my living as comfortable as possible, I have the comfiest bed in the Universe & a really comfy recliner 🙂 😄

Lots of love to you Maz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@The-red-centaur@eth my daughter previously a male is now non gender so I am happy to have a pow wow too if needed The-red-centaur and eth. xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins

Hope your leg heals quickly, wonder what you did? For now you'll just have to be a limp-pea 😉

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Hi Exoplanet hope your morning is going well for you 🙂 I cannot believe it is nearly over and done with (11.00 already!). Have a great day and good luck with all your activities 😄 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Okay ... I will tell you because it is so stupid but so easily done that I better say it because my mother and daughter both have said it has nearly happened to them :O! I had my dressing gown on which has huge pockets and I was walking past my door in my bedroom which has these handles. Well the door handle hooked onto the dressinggown pocket and becauase I was wearing socks I couldn't grip on the carpet and slipped backwards well ... after that I went straight over on my backside! My right leg went under straight but my left leg went at an angle and bingo!! Injured muscle and tendon! I feel pretty stupid but it could have been way worse 🙂

The lesson is beware of door handles and big pockets on dressing gowns 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Bunniekins thanks for your support it means a lot. I haven't had much support apart from a few friend and my dad. I've been out nearly 2 year as a trans guy. There's been a lot in the way of me transitioning because of my mental health which has been hard on me. Though finally that's progressing and I have an appointment with the gender clinician next month, and there's a very tiny chance I could start hormones then. I officially changed my name a year ago and that was the beat thing I've ever done in my life.
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