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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, happy you have a male friend person to get to know. Sounds like he is fun too, which makes my smile wider for you.

Sorry to hear your other friend is in health trouble. Sounds like you are being a really good friend for them. Also good to hear your other person is staying with you, to help with what needs to be done. I hope the best for your sick friend.

Wise idea to try to keep on track with things for you too.

Hope today is one of the better ones for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well, it's past midday, the potato hour (as @Exoplanet would say). Still here in my nightie and dressing gown. Better get off and try to do something aside from sitting at the computer. Look forward to chatting with anyone around later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. He's really nice, very kind and very funny. We laugh a lot together 😊 They're family kind of people with the other stuff. Way scared of giving too much away here (so annoying) which is why I have to be a bit vague sometimes/often, sorry.

I'm heading out to do one of those fun plan things. I've been trying to catch a moment to pop in and say hi so it's nice to catch you online. Missing our morning cuppas but often saying hi to you in my head in the early morning (not quite as early as it used to be though).

Hope to be at Topic Tuesday tonight and looking forward to bumping into some of you there hopefully.

Hope the rest of your afternoon goes well Mazarita ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @CheerBear Its good you have company to help you get through.

@Exoplanet we all need things to look forward to. Having a secure base is key to being able to make holiday or fun plans. I guess you are north enough not to worry too much about the cold.

@Mazarita I dragged myself out this morning to a retirement village opening and had psych appointment. I have seen this lady for about 3 years and have an ongoing 10 sessions per year with her. So that feels stable and we have gotten to know each other.

I think part of my out-of-kilter socialising is due to being constantly thrown into a new deep end and paddling like mad. Most people would not say the things I do unless they have developed trust, but as I had never developed trust and words would just burst out me.

Hi @eth hope is better than some words .. lol

@Bunniekins Over the years I have known many people to talk the way that teen did, I have come close in talking about being connected to the bush. My son is not like that. Not connected to the bush .. lol ..despite my encouragement, tho he enjoys the odd walk.

Cheers All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well, I achieved nothing I set out to do today. No redying of hair, no shower, no washing of clothes done. Instead I went back to bed at 2pm and woke up at 4pm. I got dressed then, only to get very cold again, so put my dressing gown back on over trackies and top. I suppose I also made myself a tuna sandwich for lunch, so at least fed myself. And cuppas and glasses of cordial. And I brushed my hair. Wow, what an exciting day, hey? I'll just have to have a shower tomorrow morning before art group and my dentist appointment. Hope I manage it then.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone

Dropping off these this morning for anyone who might like one

@Mazarita thinking of you while I wait for the sun to wake up and sending you big hugs. I may be wrong but it sounds like you were having a bit of a rough afternoon yesterday. I hope that today has moments of good in it and art group is enjoyable if you get there ❤

@Maggie it's been a little while since we've 'seen' you. I hope you and your furbaby are OK

Hi also to @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @eth @Exoplanet @Sophia1 and all. Hope today starts well for everyone 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, so good to wake up to your morning message. Yes, I was depressed yesterday, had a lot of (too much) sleep the night before, got a couple of hours more in the afternoon, went to bed at 8pm last night, and feel depressed again on waking this morning. It cheers me up that you are here saying hi.

Hope your sick person improves today and that you get some time just for you. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤ to you @Mazarita. It seems we're searching for that balance again with sleep, between too much and too little. Wishing there was a fix-it wand for us all. Do you think you'll get to art group today? It's hard to get up and going when that depression is taking hold, but it does seem to help lift it a little as you know.

Thank you for your thoughts. Sick person might be unwell for a little while. They have to have treatment (probably radiation therapy) for a little while then surgery, so now it's a matter of whether treatment will be done as an outpatient or whether they'll be an inpatient for longer, which will depend on getting pain under control and some mobility back. It's lots of not-great but they're in the right place and so is my other person ☺

I am going out for coffee today with a little group of people and really looking forward to it. It's somewhere big and busy, but the people I'm going with understand what that can be like which feels better than going out and trying to pretend that the idea of that doesn't bother me at all.

Hugs again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear and @Mazarita sending you both hugs and warm wishes for what you're going through at the moment.

Hi also to anyone else here this morning. @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Exoplanet@Shaz51@Sophia1@outlander

@Mazarita very sorry to hear you're feeling down. Hope you make it to art group this morning and feel better for that.

@CheerBear sounds like you're juggling a lot at the moment but it's nice that you are having some happy times in the midst of it all.

I'm catching a Shebah ride by myself to and from the psychologist this morning - that's a big thing for me. After that I don't know if my PHaMs worker is coming or not. She hasn't replied to my text yesterday. I have a bunch of things I need to do so I'll be very let down if she's not coming. The reason for doubt is that her boss knows I have my NDIS plan, but he also knows it's not activated yet. Still waiting to hear from NDIS re referral to a co-ordinator of supports. But I'm hoping they don't ring til tomorrow when sil will be home to take the call with me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

So sorry to hear your good friend is in hospital @CheerBear , but glad to hear another good friend is staying with you & you can help each other help your unwell friend. Extra love & hugs to you

Good Morning my Magical Mazy @Mazarita I hope the rubber duckie is shiny, sparkling? But it's not the end of the World if it isn't 😉 I got me a brand new hot water system about a month ago, it's a portable one, designed to work on a 12v pump & a garden hose, so I was able to hook it straight up to my existing system - & it works 😄 But the fact of the matter is, I've only used it twice. You know you better than anyone, when your ready you'll polish that duckies beak, it'll go out the door with a squeak, even is it's courage is a little meek, there's nothing about that duckie that's weak! 🙂

Love you

The delivery man came a bit later then midday as they said on the phone, it was about 3.30pm. I spent the day walking up & down the driveway. Everytime I heard a vehicle out on the highway I'd go & check the peice of paper I'd stuck on the post out there with my lot number on it & make sure it was still up 🙂 My staffy was attached to a lead that was attached to me all day, & my little fella was confined to my bedroom. But it came & there were no troubles backing it into my houseyard & I even had a conversation with the driver as he was unloading it!! 😮 Put the fence back up, noticed the rolls were only 94kg not 150, but still would have been too much for me. I used to get those 90kg tall gas bottles, & years ago when the rules weren't so rigid, I'd pick it up & put it in the front passengers side seat of my mini, put the seatbelt on it & take it home, were I'd pull it out, manuver it into the gas connection area, hook it up & make a cuppa 😄 But I've been past all that for a long time now. I have Psoriatic spondyloarthritis (had to look it up on the net to make sure I got the spelling right 🙂 ) which basically means arthritus of the spine, but mines polymorphic which means it's in all my joints . . . & all over my skin - lots of fun.

Today, seeing as I've still got the battery in the farm car, my mission is to go & get a load of branches to break with the axe to burn in the firebox. Guru Google is telling me I've still got a cool week (at least . . can always hope for more 🙂 ) & the wood pile is getting low. I'd better take the puppies for a walk in the forest as they just got a short on lead walk down the road yesterday because my mind was in a muddle 😉 My plan is to do so on the way back from town, where I'll head into the library & get some more DVDs 'cause I'm down to just 2. While I'm in there I'll see if there's any fresh bones for the puppies & maybe something fresh for my dinner 🙂

Thinking of you all

@Appleblossom @Bunniekins @eth @outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @PeppiPatty

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