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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom great to hear that your son is getting more pre-active with house sharing matters. Hoping your dental work is completed soon and you are happy with it.

@Exoplanet Hope you achieved your mission successfully yesterday. It sounded like a huge day for you.

@Sophia1 really hope your rehabilitation is able to progress again soon. I am looking into aquatherapy too - it's supposed to work really well. Lovely to picture you on bushwalks saying hi to all the critters. Glad to hear your house is under contract - I really hope that goes smoothly for you.

Hope is officially the word of the day!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty and @MDT hope today is starting as one of the better ones for you both.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, just woken up for (probably) the last time today. Missed the delivery of my vape machine. I wonder if I'm sleeping too heavily, as well as too long. I missed a loud phone call while asleep last Friday, and today apparently missed them buzzing the front door (unless they didn't buzz). Oh well, hopefully sort it out soon.

I was undiagnosed with bipolar until aged 47. Before that I was thought to have clinical depression and anxiety (both now considered part of the overall bipolar diagnosis). The more accurate diagnosis made a big difference to my life, because of the more appropriate medications. For a long time I was on anti-depressants alone (which we know can cause big problems for people with bipolar).

I have read that it often takes 10-20 years for people to be properly diagnosed with bipolar. That's a lot of life when we are effectively on our own with something unmanagable, misunderstood by clinicans and one's self alike, and therefore clinically mismanaged. I try to forgive myself for what went on in those years, mostly these days through that forgiveness exercise my psychologist gave me, that I've mentioned to you before. Doing that when I need to, in an ongoing way, has really helped settle some of the excessive shame and remorse.

I agree with what you say about the dental care issue. It was worse before I got government dental treatment (even with the wait lists), as I've almost never been able to afford going to a private dentist, except in extreme emergencies. I think dental care for everybody living in this country is extremely neglected by the government. A major community health issue that is largely ignored. And yes, the delays with government dental are way way too long, another instance of neglect of us. It is what we have to deal with.

What are you up to today? I hope to get my washing done at the least. And I'd like to redye my hair, then shower. Better to shower today than leave it to tomorrow morning. Doing that tends to make it touch and go if I'll make it into the shower at all, and then that flows on to sometimes missing appointments and activities that day. So I'd better try to do it today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom could be either tragedy really ..... but yes I had the psychotic teenager in mind .... sounded so much like what my son2 says when he is sick (with meds even) .... or indeed what I have said when I was sick before meds .... and to think he wasn't admitted is horrifying but not surprising.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

I've bought my fence materials! 🙂 😄 When I went into the farm supply place & made some enquiries I was told the rolls of hinge joint {square mesh wire} are about 150kg each, so I asked how much to deliver; I decided the cost of delivery was worth while, I have aches all over, but the one that really worries me is my hip. If my hip plays up too much, I can't put any weight on that leg & that makes walking a little difficult. So off I went to the bank to sort out the money, I could almost feel a plan taking shape in my head. I did my grocery shopping first & by the time I'd finished I'd decided that if I was getting the materials delivered . . . I get enough to constuct the entire boundary. 300 metal pickets, 1/2 a dozen rolls of square mesh . . . thousands of dollars worth. It doesn't feel real, but I've done it. There's a touch of that joy of fear, but also a lot of negitive fear, there's been a lot of thefts around my area lately, what if the young lad can't do it or doesn't do it properly or backs out of doing it entirely? . . . that's a very expensive pile of garden ornaments! I'm thinking of making sure I can open up my house yard fence, in the hopes that the truck can back up to it & unload my little treasure of metal goods inside of it, then at least theres a 6ft fence & a pit bull between it & the theives {& I'd be more likely to hear if anything was going on around it}. I think part of why I decided to get that much is because I wanted to get something for me, I spent 10's of thousands of dollars on my daughter & her family, I keep telling myself I can be selfish because I'm by my self - I want a boundary line fence & a real gate I can lock - I don't need it, I have the house yard fence - I want it for me! I'm aware there's still thousands of dollars worth to go, I need more plain wire, the gates & hinges, & then there's the labour. I keep day-dreaming about camping, going & seeing somewhere new - but I keep sitting in my safe little bubble that is home; it makes sense to me to make my little bubble just that little bit safer - & it may increase the value of my land a little too 😉 {am I just convincing myself it was a good idea?}.

I didn't find a bean bag for my beautiful boy, but I think I have some sofa cushions stored away in the shed, I'll look for them today & see if they do the trick for him 🙂 I only went into one second hand shop, my head was too busy make scary financial decisions!

UPDATE

While I was writing this post I got a phone call! It was the delivery guy with the fence materials! So I've been out & opened up the houseyard fence, taken the battery from the secondary solar system & started the old farm car & moved it out of the way. Hopefully now they can back the truck up there & unload the materials into my houseyard. Better go now & wait for the delivery guy!!!

Love to all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Exoplanet

I'm excited for you!

You rock, sister. You make things happen! So glad you are doing something big for yourself. It's a great way forward. I get the scary part of it, but even if the worst happens with the young lad, I'm sure you will find someone else to complete the job. Because you are resourceful, and you will work out a way to do it in any circumstances, I believe. Look how fast you recovered from the setbacks and anxieties with the earlier company enquiries. So glad you got it all delivered!!!! How on earth could you have possibly done anything else with the weight of that stuff?!!

It's good to have a safe bubble in your home, gives you a haven to step out from. Besides, it's winter, camping would probably be better in spring?

Love to you always.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita just saw you had posted, notification hasn't come through.

I echo your sentiments, both about mental health care and about dental care.

Waiting for a furniture delivery at the moment, then planning to have a shower and wash my hair later. Should get on the exercise bike at some stage too. still spending time checking out NDIS providers and factsheets.

A bit frustrating waiting for the van to turn up as I have the dog in the cabin and I have to wait outside so I'll hear them when they arrive.

@Exoplanet good on you for progressing with what sounds like a massive project. Go for it!

Good morning (just) @Bunniekins

Will hopefully catch up with some of you afterwards.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good luck with the furniture delivery, @eth, hope they come quickly so you aren't waiting around. Is the furniture for your cabin? I'm guessing it's instead for the main house.

Hi @CheerBear, feeling you under the like button. Good to feel you around. No worries if you aren't up to replying at the moment. It would be great to know how you are going though. In any case, sending hugs and love.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet you are just too cool 🙂 Inspiring this lil pea to move forward and not to be afraid to take risks. That is a huge thing for this tentative pea .... if you do it I will follow 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Waving hi to everyone 👋😊

Go you @Exoplanet! I couldn't have said it better than @Mazarita in the post above. Love the idea of making that homely bubble safer and of being able to step in and out of it as you feel. So great to see you doing things for you ❤

I read through the last pages but I have a bit of a sieve brain today so a general hi to all.

Thanks for the tag @Mazarita (and the always welcome and appreciated hugs 😊). Its been a pretty busy few days here. One of the few people left in my life (aside from the kids) is really unwell. They found out very recently, told us on Friday and by Sunday were in the ED. They're now in hospital and my other person has been staying with me so we can share the to-ing and fro-ing and organising of all kinds of things. It's been a bit sad and stressful, and tiring for everyone. I'm trying to keep some appointments I have on in between it all to make sure I stay on track with my own stuff, as well as also trying to keep some fun plans (I have a new guy friend person I am enjoying getting to know 😁) I've made as a way of timing myself out from the not as fun stuff. There's a lot going on though!

Hoping everyone is going well. Thinking of you often 💗
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