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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander good luck with the car. On the phone with Mum,sorry.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Mazzy @Mazarita what colour do you dye your hair again? I have the feeling it is auburn is that right? I am spending a day inside today. Don't feel like facing the world will venture out tomorrow :). Really hoping this pain of yours doesnt progressit sounds awful. Will probably go for cat naps today with my hot water bottle 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Wow! I should get your round to build the pea a lil pea house. She needs a house she has a car now she needs a pea house to keep her warm at night.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins hope your day is relaxing for you. I'm having an easy day today too. Need to try to shake off anxiety. Have just posted to you on the NDIS thread.

@outlander my only plans for today are to get on the exercise bike, water the garden and cook a pot of soup tonight - carrot, corn, leek, lemongrass, coconut milk and miso - it's a favourite of mine.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita hoping you feel much better when you re-awaken.

@Bunniekins sounds like you want @Exoplanet to build you a pod!

Hi @Sophia1 sorry I forgot to tag you. How are you travelling? Haven't chatted with you for a while.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds good @eth
You should send some of that soup this way!

Cars a no go. Had gearbox issues

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Damn @outlander hopefully you'll find a decent car soon. Your life really depends a lot on having reliable transport doesn't it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it sure does esp with the horses and the second job @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I just read your post about your daughter (not sure what pronouns they use!). Sounds like she/they might be gender fluid which is not so uncommon these days.

Mine grew up with body dysphoria but didn't have the language to express it until about 24 years old. I wouldn't wish dysphoria on anyone. I'm sure we could have an interesting conversation about being a parent of someone going through a transition. All we can do is love and accept them and be flexible for them and learn to use the language they are comfortable with. I only have one child (that survived) and I couldn't bear to lose them over these issues.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth yes @Exoplanet could build the pea a pod! excellent idea 🙂 xxx She is a frozen pea at the moment and would appreciate somewhere safe to snuggle into.

On a serious note it is a tricky one isn't it. My daugher has just gone off to see her mental health nurse and although it is all going well it is still fragile and I do worry about her in the long term. When I am not around to support her emotionally.... What can you you do but be there to help them through the worst of it and pick up the pieces when they inevitably fall. Which in my daughter's case I feel are inevitable.

I am sure we could have a very interesting conversation over our children and their transition....ps: I don't know what happened to your other child and it is none of my business I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss. As a parent it is something you never get over xxx

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