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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @eth

what a decision to take an e cig .... I dearly wish my husband would but he’s convinced he is immortal. Maybe just infallible.

Like the Pope used to be.

Thankyou for writing about your day -

also @CheerBear thank you Your words are comforting to me xx

i think I’m starting to get a grip on writing assignments

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I hope you feel more settled today.

It is difficult with friendships.

I often get in over my head with needy people and have trouble setting boundaries. I did a lot of work for many years in charitable/social work context and I am learning to see the difference between the relaxed mode of friendship and the helping professions. I am learning to hold back rather than go into "rescue mode". I am working on balance for an easier 'give and take' that is supposed to characterise good friendship. Idk!

I guess the forum is my practise ground. Thank you ALL.

@PeppiPatty Thanks so much Bella. It really helps me. I was so raw and testy and open in those early days. Time getting to know people is so important, and you hung around.

Dont worry too much about lecturers, they are often overworked. You have your permission for extensions and so enjoy the coursework. I am always happy to chat about study.

@eth @Exoplanet @Bunniekins @Teej @CheerBear

Have a good day.

I am heading across town

for a psych appoint and a sing.

See you tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Golly @Appleblossom

I KNEW that you would get it in the right words......

What you write to me and Maz.

That's @Mazarita.

What @Appleblossom writes is completely me. Mr. Buddha and I are always getting into tiffs because I immediately get over my head in friendships with suffering people. There are a lot where I live .......because we live right next to a Psych hospital.

You write about my lecturer is .....overworked.....thank you. At least I'm passing the assignments, they are for Sociology and my average is Credit mark.

That rescue mode is a job for people who have that terrible awful gene of "caring" in em.

Apple, As far as I remember, you were having difficulty telling your story and it was so so over-the-top....I don't think I've ever ever heard a more tragic tale....It took many months before I could piece together your journey.....it was very very interesting for all of us to understand and let it go.

Then I fell in friendship and care for you once I understood the journey, not that I didn't before but it was easier to fit all the pieces together.

xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

your Groovy @Exoplanet !

Car savior.....

Savior of cars.....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had to get my story out somehow @PeppiPatty for me, for peers, but also for those working in the system. It is important that MH workers know the long term trajectory and not just rely on the Minnesota twins or Finnish studies. Time for more Australian studies. We have the infrastructure now.

Re studies ... I was not a ttalk to the eacher person as I had to run off to collect bubs. So I just submitted. They do have to be fair and have justification for marks.

@PeppiPatty Its really great you are studying again. You deserve it and time away from relationship stuff. It will be better for Little Buddha, enable him to be more independent. If you cant study at home, take off to the library and surround yourself with positive energy. He will benefit from your growth and happiness and achievement.

There is a lot of positive give and take here on the forum. We have hard times but sharing is so important.

I was so isolated when I joined. I could not have built what I have now without peer work & support.

@Exoplanet is very groovy. A love a lady who is that practical. I am not anymore, but I take my hat off.

@eth & @Mazarita

Moseying along ... is good.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good afternoon all. Got home from the doctors not long ago. She recommended an over-the-counter spray for a very dry mouth I have been getting. The dentist tells me it's leading to a fairly fast degeneration in my teeth. I am lined up for nine fillings starting in a week or two. I've never had so many fillings in my life. We also talked about pains I've been getting near my temple, gradually increasing in intensity and frequency recently. She thinks it could be rumbling from the trigeminal neuralgia I had about 2000 (a truly terrible pain condition). I'm to mention it to the neurologist I'm seeing in a couple of weeks about my legs and feet. I've mentioned before that I may have peripheral neuropathy, and will probably be tested for this. It may explain the years of feet and lower leg problems I've been having, and hopefully lead to effective treatment. In addition, it seems possible, perhaps likely, that I have sleep apnea. We both agreed however that there's not much point in me doing sleep studies because I already know I would not be able to tolerate the claustrophobic feelings of wearing a mouth guard or using a cpap machine (let alone the expense of these things). So I'm just going to live with it, despite the risks and the poor people who have to sleep in my vicinity and tolerate my house-rattling snoring, lol. Finally, I seem to have lost some weight. The doctor weighed me and it's below a level I know I was at some time ago. So maybe, just maybe, all the recent medication changes are starting to pay off in a little weight loss. With all these appointments and treatments I've been having lately, I almost feel like a full-time health care consumer!

@Teej, I hope you do go to the break place. Perhaps your holiday with your friend could be next school holidays? I suppose though that it depends how short the break is at the break place, and how long the break with friend might be. Also whether one would be more relaxing than the other. Look forward to hearing what you decide.

@PeppiPatty, wonderful memory, making those videos from your poetry. I've since discovered that SANE has tightened their anonymity requirements and I am no longer allowed to post them around the forum. They are there somewhere in the archives though if anyone can find them. Perhaps it's destined to remain a happy memory for us both, dear heart. In regards your lecturer, I might contact her again to confirm that you will be able to get longer time for assignments to reduce stress. I find her answer to you really unacceptable, and might be willing to go 'above her head' to university administration, if she is not willing to make allowances for you even with a doctor's certificate. I would feel very annoyed by her too. Hope it works out well and in your favour.

@eth, what's a 'path test'? I hope you have already had it and have been able to eat after your fasting. Vapes are pretty easy to use once you get the hang of it. It probably took me a few days to start working out how long to press the button for (depending on how much vapour I wanted to inhale). Just don't drop it like I did! Just to say again, that you have done so well getting through that stressful meeting yesterday, and the leadup to it. Hope you hear very soon about what has been approved for you, and that it is as much as you asked for.

@CheerBear, I've never caught an Uber. I somehow feel safer ringing taxis, despite the extra expense. Not sure if there is any rational reason for it, but that's how it is for now. Have you heard anything about your DSP appointment. I guess you will let us know as soon as you get word on it. Keeping everything crossed for you. I slept well again last night and am not as highly anxious to the point of paranoia, as I was yesterday. Still thinking about the situation a lot though. Won't do any more until/unless the woman rings me again.

@Exoplanet, you and me both feel for the woman I've been talking about. Maybe not yesterday, when I was in the grip of huge anxiety about it. But overall, I do have kindly feelings towards her and wish I was a better person to be able to take her on and possibly help. Or else just be a light friend to hang out with when we are both feeling lonely. But I don't think that latter is really going to be possible with her. She is very intense (as am I). I agree that honesty about my anxieties is probably the best way to go. I will try as much as possible to emphasise that it's my feelings that are the problem and try to minimise the feeling of putting it on her. She really seems like she has enough on her plate without feeling rejected on top of it all. It's hard, but with any luck, we can both be okay through this difficulty. I think it's great, and very impressive in relation to your social anxieties, that you stopped and helped the car. You rock. Love to you.

@Bunniekins, I too have probably been as scary to other people as I was of this woman yesterday. It is sad both ways. I could use more friends to break up the great monotony of my empty days, as I'm sure she could too. I just don't think this one is meant to be.

@Appleblossom, you've hit the nail on the head with 'getting in over your head' with needy people. I have done this too often in my life and then suddenly freaked out and backed away at 100 miles per hour. It is a character flaw in me, or more precisely, something to do with my mental illness, especially my social phobias and tendency to paranoia and overwhelm. The forum is a good practise ground for me too with social contact. I'm a lot better with casual or group meetings than I used to be, can even seem to be rather socially adept in those situations (such as art group or talking to people at bus stops). My fears seem to be greatly activated when I try to make better friends with people. It's something I still need to work with and want to talk to my psychologist about it when I see her next. My life does contain a string of lost friendships. Not proud of it. Hope your psych appointment is helpful today and that your sing is happy, free and invigorating.

Hi to anyone else passing this way today. May the afternoon and evening be friendly to all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy :)xxx

my poor, poor Mazzy having to have 9 fillings!!! Hopefully staggered ... plus this dreadful pain 'trigeminal neuralgia' ( I will go an look it up) and possible sleep apnea (I am with you and the claustophobia). You are in the wars girl 😞

On a bright note you have lost some weight! 🙂 Fabulous! I am very proud of you.

You are a smart lady go by your gut with this woman. It was like me with this man I was telling you about he obviously wanted more and saw I was as nutty as a fruitcake and backed off. I don't want more I have enough to deal with. Even though like you an extra friend would have been nice but not friend with benefits thanks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins

Yes, the nine fillings. I have four filling appointments over two weeks coming up, and then more appointments still to be made after that. Mostly I am just glad they are going to be done, as the decay is visible near the gumline of some front teeth. The trigeminal neuralgia is not affecting me at this stage with severe pain (as it did for about a month back around 2000), but we have to watch in case there is an increase in symptoms. Sleep apnea doesn't really affect me that much (can't hear myself snoring, lol), and if I've got it, I would have had it for many years (cos I've been snoring a long time, apparently). I actually feel at the moment like I'm in better physical health than I have been for a while. But it's true, I do have quite a suite of health issues. On really positive news, the test I had a while back for endometrial cancer, came back clear. Yipeee!

How are you today? What have you been up to lately? Any walks? ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Well you know it is fantastic that you are feeling the best you have in a long time with everything that is happening for you :D!! Do you think it is the new meds? Whatever you are doing keep doing it 🙂

Well I am great thanks. Yes I have been going out for early morning walks as the days are getting longer I try and get out by 6.15 back at 7.15. I love it early so much and more people are getting out and about too because it is so cold 9 degrees no one is very sociable unlike later in the morning but that is okay I just listen to my music and watch the lights slowly turn off greeting the oncoming morning 🙂

O0o0o0o0o0o ... I have been a good lil pea too I did a spring clean of my closet and took a whole lot of old clothes to Vinnies. So I am feeling pretty virtuous 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Back again after two hours of Star Trek: The Next Generation!

@Bunniekins, love thinking of you on your morning walks. 6.15 sounds like a good time to go and the people will get friendlier, I imagine, as we move towards spring and summer. Lovely that you appreciate the lights disappearing over the water as the daylight rises. Spring clean of the closet is indeed a virtuous thing, more so because you took your clothing leftovers to the oppie. Hope your evening continues to be really good. ox

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