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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, I hadn't done any washing for at least 6 weeks so pretty much everything needed washing, @eth. I'm sitting here in my daggiest clothes that I never wear unless I've run out of other options, lol. Also out of undies at this point (even with the huge number of undies I have for precisely this kind of reason). In other words, washing was due!

I'm pretty daunted at the very long list of things I need to do in the flat before Thursday. Cleaning the top of the media unit, as I did this morning, is one of the smallest jobs.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope sending best wishes. Sounds like you have something big on today, tho' I haven't seen any other posts to know what it is. Hope whatever it is goes well for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Catching up on all that washing must feel good @Mazarita and a great place to start. Doing little jobs like the TV cabinet is a good place to start. Also remember that they are really looking for damage to their property, more than to judge how you live.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, unfortunately, the onsite manager is pretty finicky. She's already mentioned to me how someone (who she got rid of) was 'a bit of a grot'. She also sends around cleaning instructions by email from time to time, lol. Feels like the flat really has to be at its best. Anyway, we'll probably get through it. Always do somehow, though often rushing last jobs at 6am on the day of the inspection!

It does feel good catching up on all the washing for a start though. Although the line is too full for the sheets and doona covers that are sitting in the basket still, and the ones on my bed. Aaaaaarggghhh. I hate domestics!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Mazarita. Sometimes I don't wash dishes for a week! Not that I accumulate many with muesli bars and microwave meals!

Sorry to hear she's such a stickler - and I think she sounds like a bit of a power tripper. Must be awful having a manager onsite all the time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same here, @eth, and there is a dishwasher here!

Do you really live on muesli bars and microwaved meals?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej, feeling you under the 'like' button. Feel like a chat? How is your day going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just catching up on all the positives this morning @eth, @Mazarita

I think I needed to read them to help ground me a bit. Been struggling so much to get going and keep circling everything in my head.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap, @Teej. Good to see you.

What needs to be done today at your place?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I’m in a bit of the same situation as you. My landlord (brother) is arriving tonight and the house looks like a bomb hit it. I need to get on top of it too.

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