FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

10,241 - 10,250 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap! @Mazarita xx Too many pages for me to catch up today so I'm just jumping right in.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yay, we get a little chat, @eth.

Movie sounds great. I like Joaquin Phoenix too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well, looks like our busy social schedules at the moment have seen us pass once again as ships in the day (in this case, lol). I need to go have my shower now. Hope to catch up in real time for a bit longer soon. Hope you enjoy your day. ox @eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good morning @eth and all others passing by

thank you for tagging me...

The film sounds right up my alley...I love books...films that are centred around realistic life struggles...interesting characters..the less mainstream the better..

@Bunniekins have not been on this thread so unaware that it was your son's birthday....I too hope that he had a lovely time and you enjoyed the time together...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

GP the posts were for a fence, to keep my dog in & other dogs out; but I've put the whole idea on hold for now. I have also put the young lad off of cutting wood on my block, $40 for a wheelbarrow load is not financially vialble for me, I have organized to buy a load of pre-cut wood from him, at $50 for a ute load. I have also begun organizing a professional fencer to come to my property & do a quote for the fence. My mood has slipped a little, but it's not all bad; I am facing my fear of letting someone know where I live again, the more I do it, perhaps the easier it will get. I'm facing reality a little more, a simple fence . . . is not that simple - there are all sorts of legal implications. I need to have my boundaries surveyed to ensure my fence is not on a neighbouring property, I think I will choose to have the fence errected appropriately inside that boundry, so that the fence can be tended to on both sides without commiting tresspass on those neighbouring properties or becoming I/2 owned by the those properties; & as such becoming a financial responsibility of those property owners, who can dispute the type of fence I use. It's all a lot more complicated than I first thought. I'm also hoping that a professional business may be exempt from the GST of the materials & the fact that I won't have to figure out how the hell to transport them. I have already gotten 1000mtrs of barbed wire, I'm hoping the profession fencer will use that; & 1500mtrs of plain wire, I'm thinking of getting the young lad to add a couple of strands to help tension & fix up my exisiting house yard fence with that. I am glad I've come to this decision before the fence was errected, no matter how I go about it, it will be thousands of dollars worth, that would have been a disaster if a neighbour decided to dispute it & I had to have it pulled down. I've already had an altercation with one neighbour, the other I suspect is taking wood from my property; I am not a trusting person & would rather be safe than sorry.

Love to those who need or want it

Acceptance to those who cannot be understood

Understanding to those who have irrational fear & saddness

& gentle hugs to those going through harsh times

@Mazarita @outlander @Bunniekins @Teej @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita sorry I disappeared this morning - I had one of sil's friends drop in in the cabin and we had an interesting conversation. Brunch this morning was 8 of us inside while it was cold and then they all moved out to sit in the sun outside the cabin so I joined in again. It feels weird sometimes to be hanging out alone when bro and sil have visitors and they sit near the cabin. I have lots of glass down one side of the cabin which is beautiful but it can feel a bit fish bowl-ish at those times. But the positive side is moments like bro and his good friend playing guitar together and singing gentle harmonies just outside my door. I filmed them but obviously can't share it here. Wish I could, it was lovely. So rare to share in 2 men just doing something beautiful and gentle together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds utterly beautiful @eth I love guitar.

and I will keep my eye out for that movie.

@Exoplanet So glad you are working through the fencing issues. You are so practical and proactive. Good on YOU. Its worth hearing about and having you here on the thread. Give a hug to your dog from Apple

@Sophia1 @Mulgajane @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Sophia1 @outlander @Bunniekins and others who might be around. The weekend is over. Whew! A real celebration of my sister-in-law by her friends and her Mum and me and bro. House next door all cleaned up, everything brought back into the house here and now a gentle rain for the first time since before the festivities began. I'll be having some quiet time now and around for a chat if anyone else is.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @outlander how was your weekend?

10,241 - 10,250 of 27,230