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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm guessing you've had trouble talking about this on the forum before, @Bunniekins, maybe posts have been moderated, not sure. Either way I think we are managing to understand each other anyway.

That's great though (I think) about him doing the blacksmithing course, that you have found somewhere for him to do that and thereby granted his birthday wish! You and me both hoping samurai swords aren't on the curriculum.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Here is something sweet on my walk yesterday along the footpath near the waters edge I saw two plovers standing at the edge looking out onto the bay. They were looking at the water in such a romantic like way as the sun rose and then when they saw me they trotted back to their grassy area. Birds are such funny creatures. @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita yes something smaller would be fine I think 🙂 That is what he wants so that is what he will get. Funny though he never tells us how he will get his 'weapons' to his friends .... that has always puzzled me. I suppose it is where he is is still very childlike.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like the image of the two romantic plovers, @Bunniekins. I love birds, though I don't always observe them closely. Mostly just listen to them. Every day we have birds in the trees along the fence line of my little courtyard. The currawongs are loud when they are close!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita yes you dont hear too much about romantic plovers normally it is exactly the opposite lol 🙂 I love currawongs their song is supurb particularly if you get a huge flock together then it (IMO) outdoes the magpie and that says alot as I love maggies.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, well I think it's going to be a good present, just what he wanted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap, @Bunniekins, posting within 60 seconds of each other again.

Are plovers not generally considered 'romantic'? What is their reputation? I have only encountered those birds occasionally.

Currawongs have the most beautiful, plaintive cry as the sun is going down. It moves me. And yes, I love the language of maggies too. Also butcher birds have an incredibly complex, and beautiful, language.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 🙂 so he will have cake and pizza today and in the near future his course so that should keep him happy for awhile anything. He is a good kid you know, all my kids are, I love my kidults :).

I am sitting here in the cold wondering if I should go for a walk ... what would you do Maz? On the one hand yesterday I could have gone back to bed lol and enjoyed that but on the other once I got out and about I really enjoyed my walk too .... maybe I should toss a coin. Then again I wont be able to run if I dont keep moving ... what would you do?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh, @Bunniekins, at the moment I'm only walking between buses and briefly around my local village shops. But casting my memory back to when I was walking regularly on the beach, sometimes I did it, sometimes I gave myself a rest. I think maybe one day off is allowed in a week, especially Sunday. Might even be desirable to take a break day every now and then (maybe on Sundays) so that burnout doesn't happen with the exercise program. But maybe that's all just a long way of saying I'd like to keep chatting with you instead.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I think plovers have a reputation of be being aggressive, grumpy birds even amongst themselves at times but you do see them as couples often with just the one baby. They are just hysterical birds. Even their language is testy. If you ever get a chance just watch their hijinks they really are so funny in the way they can be so intimidating to humans.

I agree with you my fave birds tend to be the currawong, maggie and butcher (we have a butcher bird here very special as I havent seen many).

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