Caring4Corny

Thanks guys @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Former-Member @outlander @Shaz51 for your kindness and concern, I had to have a little procedure in another hospital today for some health problems I've been having this year. The doctors & nurses were so understanding. When I receive genuine and sincere care from strangers and they take it upon themselves to tell me what happened to me was so wrong it makes me tear up that I get more humanity and validation from strangers than I have from my own family.

It's made me a little teary tonight, but I think I am over tired and groggy from the anaesthetic.

Maybe its a sign that Caring4Corny is well over due and The Universe is reminding me I am on the right track and that I am worthy of being looked after too.

I hope that you are all in a cuddle coma and are fantastic sleepers and can sleep in tomorrow with no insomnia through the night,

Plank an Otter on his water bed tonight.

Cornichon

Hugs @Corny

A meadow of cornflowers for you to enjoy in your dreams @Corny , do keep an eye out, particularly if you stumble across a stream, rumour has it if you are lucky, you might spot an otter that is planking.

🤗 @Former-Member .....

So good to hear that you are receiving that sort of

support @Corny ❣️ It is understandable how it can be hard to believe in your self-worth after the experiences you have come through ..... but come through them you have .....

Gently, gently .....

Big hugs @Corny . You deserve care, and more care. 💜💜💜💜💜

Thanks @Shaz51 for the hugs, I always love to receive one.

I am discharging from the hospital on Monday, so naturally a little nervous, as I have had 14 and a half weeks in the honeymoon suite with Jack Nicholson as @Hope4me would say!

Thanks for the beautiful flowers @Former-Member and the lovely art work @Faith-and-Hope and the encouragement @Maggie to keep looking after myself even if that feels clunky and unnatural.

My recovery isn't over and continues out of the ward. My doctor is really happy with my response to the treatment and my depression has most definitely improved and hopefully stabilised. I guess the test is when I leave. Unfortunately PTSD is my baseline and it is just a different beast. In some ways I feel that my PTSD is worse, the trauma of this year has taken some more stress resilience from me. I get very upset how low my stress resilience is, because it places so many limitations on me in areas healthy people take completely for granted.

Of course hospital is an imperfect environment but there have been a lot of positive aspects. I will especially miss the non-judgemental space it has been, and connecting with others through the losses that having a mental health condition robs you of. John Lennon said life is what happens when we are making other plans and in this life I sure have been tested in adaptability and adjustment.

My resilience will never be what it used to be, I can sense from the inside that my physiology has been rocked and doesn't function properly, all of my responses to stimulus and stress have their wires crossed and are misfiring very easily. I have to change the way I live otherwise I could become unwell again, and it just isn't worth another 3 months in hospital. But I guess that is just another lesson in acknowledging I have needs, and not taking the degree of health that I do have for granted.

I am a work in progress.

If I disappear off the forums I am adjusting and a little shaky out in the bright light of day.

I have been informed that I am being transported home 1st class down the sewers and drains, out Sydney Harbour and then scooting around, through and down my local drain aboard the softest and cuddliest sea Otter you have ever seen. I will be planking her all the way back to my apartment, as someone who cares about me and holding me is the best anti-anxiety med on the market. I have a feeling there may be an entourage of a dozen Otters escorting me home. There seemed to be a lot of commotion down at concierge.

I hope that you all enjoy your Sunday. My sib is picking me up this morning and taking me out to run some errands and check out my unit.

Hope you are enjoying your holiday @Former-Member, and that you are well @outlander

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support,

Cuddly Corn

Happy otter trails @Corny ..... riding with an otter is an up and down motion, so may the roller coasters be gentle waves as you readjust and find your feet again beyond the honeymoon suite .... 💜🌽💐

@Corny

A 'welcome home' gift for you.

I would love to hear of any self care steps you take no matter how small whether it be healthy eating, going for a walk, visiting a gallery, going out for coffee, visiting a gallery, buying a friend a surprise gift, upgrading old undies that are not fit for an ambulance ride ..

What @Former-Member said ^^^

@Corny

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member. I am certain that my Otter's tummy will be a cosy and comfortable water bed for my travels home tomorrow. But as you say, it is only expected that there will be a few ups and downs, maybe a temporary snag in the reeds, or some empty plastic bottles thrown at us from one of those Healthy Humans in their motorised vehicles.

Not to worry, I am prepared for the high seas and may even catch a wave or two if I am lucky. Possibly she will take a wrong turn somewhere in one of the canals, or the Healthy Humans may have barricaded my off ramp with a steel gate. In that case we will tear-down into the bowels of Sydney and ejects full speed off the biggest and fastest and wettest slippery dip at Wet 'n' Wild waving our little flag as we go.

I plan to fulfill every food fantasy I have had in the last 3 months in the first 72 hours. Before I came in I was working on my falafel recipe and it wasn't quite right, it needs work, patience and perseverance. Santa gave me some Ottolenghi recipe books for Christmas that need a work out on my taste buds, but I am sad to say I think my curry plant died while I was incarcerated.....maybe Sant will deliver another one. Being unwell and away with the drought on, the plants never really stood a chance.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and best wishes for my recovery. The nurses have told me not to over schedule myself and to speak up and say no if I can't catch up with people in the first couple of weeks. I will try and take it one day at a time and keep my medical appointments as usual. I am worried about my PTSD hyper-vigilance, flashbacks and anxiety but all I can do for that is create a life that is sustainable, which takes time and is slow, because there is not cure for it, its all been burnt into my cells good and proper me thinks. It feels like a life sentence, but I am hoping to carve out a peaceful little life for myself some how.

My sib announced this week she is going to get a puppy mid-next year and I will be an aunt again, so we are all beside ourselves with excitement over his/her arrival.

Corny