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Something’s not right

Son2

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Son2

Hi everyone something happened last night with son2. It has been coming for awhile and no one is surprised least of all me as I have been makint excuses for months now .... one of his voices threatened me in a very violent way. Luckily he could talk the voice down and my daughter was here but nonetheless it has made me realise that son2 will have to go to a group home in the near future.

He is too big for me to handle when he gets out of control angry and the voices are at him. It just makes me sad that I will never be able to fix him. He will always have these nasty voices at him regardless of medications. He will never be totally free and will always be paranoid and thinking his family are out to get him.

It is so unfair. I could kid myself when he was younger that I could fix his problems. But it is impossible. I can't make it better and being a mum you are meant to be able to fix things for your children and I cannot. I feel a total failure...

It just hurts so much. Thinking bad thoughts tonight. Bad thoughts are surrounding me. Life shouldnt hold so much pain.

137 replies

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In response to: Son2

Gazza75Senior Contributor

Re: Son2

Hugs @Bunniekins, hope you are OK ❤️❤️🌻

In response to: Re: Son2

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Gazza75 @outlander thanks guys :). Feeling sick with migraine today after restless sleep. I really appreciate all your care and good wishes. Means the world to me.xxx

In response to: Re: Son2

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Son2

migraines are horrid @Bunniekins
try to rest and maybe try some toast to help with the sick feeling
gentle hugs

In response to: Re: Son2

Gazza75Senior Contributor

Re: Son2

Your welcome @Bunniekins. Migraines are the worst. I can't cope with them at all well. I hope sleep comes easier for you tonight.

I had one last weekend and it made.dizzy and I'll.. I very rarely get them thankfully.

Take care, you are a. Delicate sweet pea ❤️❤️❤️😊

In response to: Re: Son2

MeowmySenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Bunniekins hey little pea, I think it may help to believe letting son two into care may not be a permanent plan.Think it's the right thing to do for now. You love him do much. That he needs to understand. And you always will have his best interests at heart. May be after a while, may be a few years. When you and daughter got better and stronger. And son two may get a bit better. Or may be new and more effective medication available. May be son two can come out of care for a bit, part time or day leaves.

You love him. He will understand

In response to: Re: Son2

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Meowmy Hey Meowmy . I never thought of it that way before. Thank you. I would love to be able to have son2 back if that is what he wants. He is part of the family and that is what hurts the most.xxx

In response to: Re: Son2

MeowmySenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Bunniekins Hey little pea. I think it may be good for him to stay in care for a while, then may be during the week and come to your home or dad’s for the weekend and any family functions. Care is good but may be not great if it is twenty four seven all year and year after year. May be when a balance of things reached between you, ex, daughter and care for son two. It will be very good for everyone.

In response to: Re: Son2

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Meowmy Hey Meowmy you are right :). It is just the initial thought of it and I know how much he will feel betrayed by me. As I have always promised him that he will always come home.

In response to: Re: Son2

MeowmySenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Bunniekins Hey little pea, he will understand. It’s good that he live at care during the week, to learn skills and come home to you weekends or when he can get leave from doctors. He may even get excited to have peer friends and activities.

In response to: Re: Son2

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: Son2

@Meowmy :)xxxx

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