Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

You are very much accepted here - welcome mat out for you - all the best wishes possible

Dec

---

@TAB wrote:
..yes.. @Former-Member 😸 Have realised been really down last week or so. Made self go for a walk and trying to keep busy

---

walking is so good when feeling depressed.

distraction of any sort really.

sometimes though we just do not have the energy or motivation and that is when we have to not be hard on ourselves. This is the point where i always come unstuck. I internalise my lethargy.

so dont do what i do!! hope it starts to lift and you can start climbing back up the hill.

---

@TAB wrote:
Hi @Former-Member well think was so depressed I pretended I wasn't if that makes sense. New job tomorrow ..scary for all sorts reasons..and Thankyou re thoughts 😀

---

sometimes when something new is coming up we can make the mistake of thinking that we are feeling scared, anxious but it might actually be nervous energy, as in adrenaline, a positive reaction.

so i think of it like that because that is the one i would choose out of the two reactions.

Hi Everyone, sorry I bailed on you, on the forums, overreacted - but how could I stay away after all thesw beautiful messages of support... made me cry, good tears...Thank you so much, especially my faithfuls here, and i'm so sorry if I made you think I don't care about you, i do, and I did miss you. Blackdog had me convinced (again) that everyone is angry with me, that i keep stuffing up, a waste of time, unacceptable (more than ever), that I bring everyone 'nothing but grief' (especially since my girl died i guess) and... maybe... ya all just 'better off without me'. Not just you here, but everyone, and i started that 'checking out' process, not good. Such is the nature of MI, lack insight. Wish it wasn't so and I was just 'more' for you all, but... well... I think you know. My recent birthday triggered a lot of pain, no visitors... alone all day aya. I still have this childish expectation for face-to-face validation time with people, anyone who's really glad I was born. Preferably loved ones, family and friends who know me well. But it eems nobody is that 'into me' these days. Like so many lonely oldies I nursed in aged care, us nurses tried to fill the gap for them but they were still lost it seemed, waiting to die. I feel like that a lot these days, trying to fight it. becomes a raging war within (a battle with death). Silly I expect so much from people really.... I know... can't seem to stop it... I try... But on the other hand - is it really that much to ask once a year? I fold in on myself, to protect others in a way I guess, to not make things even worse. Its pretty horrible way to be in ones own skin, just because people can't do what I want them to, drr. But theres no logic in the middle of it. Yep, birthday abandonment sends me into some sort of an existential crisis - just wanna be in heaven with Jesus and my girl, without a broken body or mind (maybe I'll be more loveable there). Weird how we think and do the opposite to what we need when depressed - like withdraw, pushing people away. . . so, Thanks for having me back, I'll take the other welcomes on board too. Appreciate it. I missed yas too. Everyone's seems a bit under strain here lately "the eb and flow of life and emotional tides" Hang in there all, feelings are like the weather and will change. That's my ongoing hope - to try hard as ever to hang in there for the good days, and moment, no matter how few.

Had a good moment on my veranda this morning - made me smile when two birds in playful flight sped past my face so close, their enthusiasm for life and living, wow! Made me look around and notice the green, sunny sky, crisp autumn air and blue sky. It really is a beautiful world. Actually, on a funny note, had a little chat with God "why didn't you make me a bird? I'd love to fly and know I'd get out more if I could" lol