Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member, you said today: "Good morning Tawney 👋💜 Are you ok? ☕🍰" You're the best at getting me to reflect on 'how I feel' - and asking, it reminds me to be mindful, stay on top of my emotions - be kind to myself 💟👋 Need to do that before it gets out of control lol. Yes, i was on the bus last night from 5:50 to 7:50pm. It was a great run. Time went so fast as i played with the phone the entire way - reading writing nodding off... (can't do that when ya driving myself lol). Yes, I was pretty tired when i got home as i havent been sleeping well (a few nights now), emotionally and physically bruised and fighting a headache all day. So yep, Definitely a 'rest day' today - keep having to lay down - falling asleep. Having dark thoughts which tells me my inner stress is high. I Had that thought that this would be a good time to bow out, my B'day, to remind those absent ones how slack they are and because my son & I had such a good last time together. But its just thoughs - anniversaries have a habit of doing that for those some of us with depression & SI. Most definately needing a 'self care' day today. YOU sound like you're making progress - sorting through that internal stuff. 😮😣😩😨😢😭😊😀😂, know what ya mean about so many mixed emotions. Yes, it will be good. WELL NONE!😊 Just a reminder that I don't get a lot of 'tag notifications' so its a bit hit and miss from me sometimes, not you. Only coping with this thread atm.

@Shaz51, hugz & 💜💛💜💛💜
Waiting to hear what doc said today.

@TAB, you said: "Well done again Tawney, Rest up!" Appreciate youre encouragement forum bro - Thank you Kind Sir! ,🎩 Hope you're OK too ☺

Made me smile re 'kind sir' 🎩 ..yeah get the Black and Golds out 😀 @Former-Member bit like 'what now'/ sooky over tv playing up after getting it fixed and now looking at no income next few weeks re ribs and job I decided to pre emptively pull pin on it yest. yeah dumb stuff
Not stuff you are dealing with
But cloud has settled over head last few hrs . May just have a nap and revisit it all later. Wish it was me on bus 🚌 😀

@Faith-and-Hope, what's this about D3 'norties' - oppositional and antagonistic, - feel for you. I'd be avoiding too. Is she any better today grrrr. Her way of coping - dbl grr! Exhausting! Thanks for thinking of me re special walk for my girl Sunday ..... I love your rose painting and remember our early conversations well (gosh I was a mess). I'm touched you remember us in your art. At the walk today there was pretty pink miniature roses to choose from, but my girl didn't like pink so I chose a frangipani and rosemary spray. My son picked rosemary, I grabbed extra for my parents. I truly am so glad my boy came with me on the 'remembrance' walk too - everything is easier when ya not standing alone (I didn't know anyone else there), besides, it was good for him too, he talked with others, inc a couple young ladies he he, and I think maybe, for the first time since the funeral - he found an outlet for his pain. Thanks for connecting with me about this. So appreciate it. I know you miss your mum ❤️💕🌹❤️💕🌹❤️ Thanks for the fly-by to say hi everyone this morning ....😊 you seem a bit brighter today, i'm glad. You just keep swimming too 🐬🐬🐬

💜 Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to @Former-Member
Happy Birthday to you
Hip hip hooray 💜

🎂🎈🎁🎊🎉🎈🎉🎊🎈🎉🎊🎈🎉🎊🎂

🌷🌼🌺🌹🌻🌸🌷🌺🌼🌸🌻🌹🌷🌺🌼🌻🌹

☕🍰🍵🍩☕🍰🍵🍩🍦🍬🍭🍧🍬🍭🍨🍬🍭

Lots of love and big hugs xoxoxo 😀💜

Saw a dolphin this morning @Former-Member ..... 😊💕

Out at the mo so you'll have to wait till I get home to my trusty iPad for your birthday week message / card / thingy ......

❤️💕

Love what @Bellla2 has done for you ..... wtg Bella2 ..... 🌷💕

@Owlunar, thanks for saying to me "you do deserve better" and "these people are not your friends" At the very least I'm strong enough to accept that they are not my 'good friends' (as needed to delude myself they were for so long), I'm shifting them to an outer circle in my relationship heart, they don't deserve to be that close to my inner heart anymore, besides - I'm just too tired for such high maintenance to force myself on people anymore, and settling for crumbs. Besides, they'll barely miss me, they have their 'hubbies' 'dughters' 'work' 'money' - not much room there for me all along. My need srove me to stay in touch i supose. Their needs are met without me. I did know them them before my girl died - I've wanted to connect with people who remember her but reality is, they didn't know her that well :(. A fresh start with friends would be good, have friends from the past, like you've done, but its hard the older we get with less to offer. I'm sorry you don't have someone close to just 'yak' to, you do deserve that, its not much to ask. I can do that with my Chinchilla friend more these days. Use to with my sister - I thought. .
As for my friend going to Hubby's Dr apt, that's more about keeping her finger in the pie as men forget and are not talkative and she wants the best for her hubby. It would be easier to be 'flipped off' if we exchanged it for another arrangement but its up in the air, a big 'maybe' that sounds like too much trouble. One the day has gone its too late - I don't bother. Its comforting to have people like you, here on the forums at least, that 'get' how I feel. Hey, "sunny personality" are the best coverup in a world that shuns pain.
Thats nice that you said "from what you write you are a great person who cares about other people" meaning I think that I 'shoud' be worth the trouble I think you're saying. I don't know how I come across really, but i do work on wearing 'the mask' - but have trouble relaxing, wear my heart on my sleeve and can be so sad, who needs that.

Yes, staying in the city with my son does make me appreciate the peace and quiet in the country, and security (low crime), the fields and wildlife. I'm glad you have that memory of hearing the surf on the beach while sleeping early morning. I never did like city life.
I think you do understand loneliness..
I'm glad you had your dd when your aunt died.

I can relate to the feeling of shame & dread that comes over us when someone asks "do you have a friend who could sit with you a while?" and having to say no. OM# the pain of having to say no - those painful realities! My counsellor throws this in my face as part of ACT - I don't like it. I think its awfil we become like their selfishness in that we are forsed by default to make our own life work for us, me" - and sometimes it is hard yards - and I think only people who live alone would really get it - really know how it feels
Thanks for caring, and wanting to visit if you could. Means something anyhow. Oh, after I got home my son apologised for not giving me a birthday hug or card before I left - such is life without a daughters lol. We did have several hugs throughout the course of the weekend. God has shown me a way to make the crumbs enough (well, a kind of work in progress along the lines of "my grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness"). Ya right, "People have to be who they are - and we can't change, or MAKE them do anything.
Glad your kitty has settled down. Your stories about her crack me up, tiny bossy being we could squish in an instant xox. All yhis reminds me of the 'talking cat' Faith-and-Hope encountered in the park overseas. Kinda spooky when they're trying so hard to tell us something. Have you seen the movie " Catwoman" ?
In Today's post You said "That's beautiful Tawney - what a wonderful way for people to share their grief. Thanks for sharing that" - thanks Dec, never quite know if I'm being see self centred, and or just boring people lol 🐾🐝🐾🐝🐾🐱🐶 Oh, CF asked me to do a write up for our next newsletter. Wanna help me with that? I do love writing. I got a blister on my ankle walking yesterday which has become quite sore today, angry ?infected so will have to start dressing it, such an awkward spot. Been a while since I had a blister lol

3 lll's lol
It was Bella3 too 😂😂

That's really sweet @Former-Member, so many flowers, balloons etc love it! You're a treasure.
@Faith-and-Hope, catch u later, glad you saw 🐬 🐬. 🐬
@TAB, chin up, bide your time, consider it "forced relaxation" go sit on a beach (not the whitsundays lol). i'd put u on a bus to come visit if I could, u could stay in my spare room 🙂 xox

Yes tab thank you, gotta go for a bit