Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

There is still a little child within all of us - it's the part of us that looks in wonder at the night sky and enjoys it's beauty without asking questions - the part of us that hunts around the garden looking for critturs to enjoy - and when I was on holidays - at low tide I enjoy bending over and seeing the myriad of tiny lifeforms -sure - little bugs like sea lice rushing back to the water as it receded, little sea snails looking out of their holes face first - and the bubbler crabs going through the mud looking for whatever food they could find and making a mess of the sandy mud flat - yes - my inner child was loving this and my adult self was not taking them home - no - they belong there on the shores of Lake Cunninghame at Lakes Entrance

But I guess childhood trauma does warp our introspection. My mother once yelled at me - caught in her own frustrations, that there was a part of me that had never grown up. I gazed at here while my introspection caught up with that stupid but unexpected comment then told her "I should hope so" and walked out and left her wondering about it I guess - but just has we become adults we should never lose that childhood wonder of the world as it unfolds in our unconcious and let our adult self wonder with it

Probably understanding the adults around us try and force us into our boxes - at 10 adult life seemed horrible and boring - but when I was 11 I was taught how to play 500 and wow - there were interesting things being and adult

And after all this Tawnz - sometimes parents want us to be kids until an unspecified date then expect us to be adults without telling us how or when, or why

We all want our birthday acknowledged. We all want cards and presents and phonecalls and cake - we want our special day -

And when it is our birthday it gives other people a chance to wish us a Happy Birthday and clap us on the back and sing the old and most often sang song - it gives people a chance to be happy for someone else

Go and visit your son - your dog will be okay over night - give him plenty of things to play with while you are gone. You might get a canine version of my puddy-tats melt down when you get back but your dog will understand this and rant at you but my cat has forgotten her meltdown - your dog will do

But yes - go out and spend a little on yourself - have your teary moments and enjoy the moments when you can.

Lots of hugs Tawnz

OK @ TAB, I had a talk with dog, he's too old for the trip so we're just gonna have to 'cyber visit', hope ya don't mind lol We make do. Actually bought a box of black&gold iceblocks last week - think of you whenever I have one xox

@ Bella2, we really don't have too many options with friends who treat us poorly when theyre all we got. My Brisbane 'friend' jyst rang before and cancelled coming on the Remembrance walk & bbq tomorrow while I'm in Brisbane (she prefers to go to church) and shes busy in arvo re having HER DAUGHTER & GRANDAUGHTER over for afternoon tea (ouchy! dlipoed off! have i done something wrong?) she hinted I could drive to her place, maybe, but.. Seemes coming to me at S1's after church (around the corner) too hard - I don't know, felt hurt after we hung up, jus before leaving, nearly had meltdown (hate being sensitive). Why did she even ring me back? I'd rather hear nothing than that pathetic list of higher priorities on my birthday week. Should i NOT feel this way? How can I not let it hurt? And they're quick to remind me how unreasonable I can be. Even my VC friend in small town cancelling my birthday lunch with with her - cause her hubby has a Dr apt. 1/2hr away she wants to be at. But I say why not afternoon tea, or morning tea... ... or drr, some othee option. How long does a drs apt take anyway, a whole day? I go to all my dr apts on my own, even when I need help. They seem to like rubning in they have their 'husbands' (talk about cluwless, or is it just bitchy - I think its the latter with these two and I'm finally starting to realise - I'm worth more than that I don't understand why I can't be important to my closest friends - esp around anniversaries. The other thing is - the WAY they do it - no apology, just a matter of fact 'something else has come up' ... ... It actually appears they 'get off' on being able to have the 'upper hand' when i'm most vulnerable. I'm disgusted frankly, indignant actually, its taken me 2hrs to calm my interbal anger. ACT slow to kick in overcthis one. Going to me 'happy place' hmm, outwardly at least (thats actually an improvement lol). Maybe a ptsd bpd abandonment overreaction... still hurts whatever they call itvor blamem, just over it. I think maybe I deserve better.

So chuffed my Chinchilla friend fussed for me this year, last weekend, and ma got over herself enough to remember me this year. Helps to feel loved by someone. Oh dear, listen to me carrying on like a teenager with a chip on my shoulder. Or is it normal to feel this way? Would any of you others feel the same? @ Dec, @ Faith-and-Hope, @Appleblossom, @ Shaz51, Still have trouble knowing what's normal.

The Bus, me, has passed the halfway mark. If I got in the car at home and drove continually, the trip should only take 2.5hrs but it always blows out to 3 for one reason or another. Today I left home 2:45 arrive Bris 6pm so I just say 3hrs. This bus is amazing, let me keep carry-on, has seat belts, foot rests and rec seats, wow. There's only 7 of us passengers - all middle aged. The drivers seat bounces up and down with every bump - how's that for ergonomics!

Yes @Former-Member,

sending you knowing hugs my friend

my so called friend , which I don`t think she really is

but she made me some soup when I was sick but I had to go to her shop to pick it up , talking to her on the phone and she starts yawning -- I don`t ring anymore

she never comes to the house to visit , she says we have to get together for a coffee but she always comes up with reasons not today