Sleeping too much

Hello my Darling @Former-Member xoxo

have been thinking of you today

Hubby said " you have someone on your mind all day "" -- Yes My @Former-Member, that`s who xx

💜💕💙 @Former-Member ......

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

How are you? Are you feeling better and how is the rest of the family?

Thinking of you my friend.

Not quite over it @BlueBay .... but I think I'm the best of the bunch here at the moment ....

WH and MIL have had it longer, but neither of them have rested up properly, and have been in smokey cafes ....

Glad you're on the mend too ❣

Hi @Former-Member

Aw Tawney - I think you really do need to get home and find your feet again - and this is for yourself and just for yourself - you are exhausted - and overwhelmed and I can feel it

@TAWNEY wrote:

Help, tx my son tonight

ME: Pease don't shut me out, or get depressed, or refer to me as 'other people' What's happening? I care about you, please don't withdraw. I'm trying to give you space but love you. You don't have 'issues' - you're a wonderful intelligent caring new age gentleman. Please please be kind to yourself xox
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Was that the right thing to say? How can I focus on mum at the dr tomorrow while so worried about my son in Brisbane all alone. Doesn't he know I love him??

This was an excellent reply to his comment - and your question - how can your focus on your mum and your son at the same time. He knows you love him - his has his own thing - having broken up with his girlfriend - maybe she was his first love and that is the hardest love to get over - and he wants some space and wants you there at the same time. I think he's conflicted right now

Yes - I know you are really frightened right now - and not just about him - you know your mum could die soon and that is a scary thing to face - and you family has so many problems - it seems that you are giving each other space right now and in the long term this can be a good thing - it's a major time in your family and I don't know how old he is - but he has just had your daughter's anniversaries too - and I didn't think about my daughter at the same time in our lives - just cause she didn't want to talk about it.

Tough Stuff indeed

WHY DOES EVERYONE PUSH ME AWAY???

I wonder the same thing about people pushing me away - but I have learned to be okay about it - I don't think I do anything wrong - I am just a bit to clever at times - and years have passed - and we both have a huge and complicated story - too much for some people and nothing at all we can do anything about that - really hard to be on the receiving end of that too

IF HE DIES... WHAT... I CANT DEAL WITH THIS NOW - O GOD - NOT HIM TOO...I CANT TAKE ANYMORE...

I have thought the same thing about my daughter and I have a strong idea about what I would do - I cannot bear the thought of it - and there are no sure things here - nothing we can rely upon - nothing we can make safe -

But there is nothing we can do about that yet - I know how devastating the thought is - but consider the chances - it's a terrible thought Tawney - believe me - I know. Not that it can help you right now

Do i deserve this? No

Was I the worst mum ever? No

You are hurting so much - I see what your mind thinks - it's such a battle for you - I can see what your family is like and how torn up you are - but it's not good at all - I really hate it and feel for you the way you are treated - your brothers with MI and your snotty sister and the other brother with his stuck-up attitude and I know you have another brother with MS - and he can't help that but it is another thing

Then you mum is so sick and your Dad has dementia

What do you do? This is your life - and boy - what a load

It would curse anyone - how does one deal with all of that? I don't know -

My heart feels your heart - my mind hears your mind - and if you could see what I see - what others see - how you have put your own life on hold for your family right now - and your son has his "issues"

You have to take care of Tawney first - because a hurt and bruised and unhappy, grieving Tawney needs the love and affection we can give in abundance - but not the family you were born into

Lots of hugs Tawnz - we love you here - I love you

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I will light a candle when I get up tomorrow and it will burn for a long time - perhaps as long as it takes to get well on your way

And you have planned your CUL8R well - and I get your point about not taking any money from them either - no way did you go for money - you went for love - this is obvious to us - and those brothers of yours - they do take the somso cake - wow

Take your time in the morning - have your coffee and say your goodbyes and leave - no way to you need any drama

For you sake I am so glad you are getting ready to leave in the morning - this has really been a lesson for me - I understand more about your family now and about your loneliness

In my old age I still hurt from how my mother treated me - I guess I always will - but I can see TS wanted full credit for all she did - and yes - she did it for money

Thinking of your tonight

Dec

Thanks @Former-Member

It has been a learning curve for me - and yes - after all this time - I get it

I have had a lot of back-pain lately - I realised how badly I was standing and now I am standing straighter and can't seem to stop this new habit - I feel so tall - but the weight of my upper body on the damaged endplates of my lower lumbar vertebrae is the reason I was walking badly in the first place and I will be seeing my pain specialist in a few weeks

Okay for a laugh - I have had a lot of dreams about various members of my family lately - strange - I don't know why - but I seemed to be getting bad vibes in a conversation with my ex h's step-daughter who said "How can I get on with my life when you keep saying and writing such bad things about my step-father" and I loved my response - "What on earth are you talking about?"

That was wonderful - if I have any trouble with TS - this is what I say - I have been enjoying that dream all day

I am sure you will have some culture shock when you get home - but when you pick up your routine it will be easier - and it will be easier to be helpful for me to have so much extra insight into your situation - and therefore I will be able to say things that will be more helpful for you - I hope

Lots of hugs all the way home - and remember the candle

Dec