Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

I am going to bed after this post - can't read any more but I want to answer you

Today was the anniversary of the adoption - always worse than his birthday - and I think the distraction of having my cat have her claws done so wonderfully smooth and rounded off - I dunno about a spoilled putty tat - which she is - but as for me - her Mummy - I can be such a sook - she does scratch at times - not intentionally - she just likes to stay on my lap and seeing as she has given up sharpening her weapons on the trees outside - she has done some damage to my couch - but obviously it is not as much fun with her claws so wonderfully smooth

Ah - da feline mani and pedi - wonderful - actually my dd's cat gets a shampoo and shave every so often - she's a long hair - very thick coat - and I think she has a GA for the shave - just in her armpits and groin and around the fundamental oriface and a haircut all over

Dat's a spoiled putty tat - but her coat is too much for her to manage and she's a big cat too

Look - after all these years grief can get very old - and yet can be very fresh as well - it will not always be as bad for you as it is now - but I can still have my moments. It is a terrible waste - a terrible loss - when young lives are taken in whatever way - they have not yet had a chance to live and join life's dance - they suffered and it was too much for their mind and their body - and they could not last

How unfair that is - time does ease the wound - and a scar can form - but the memories are indelible - and we have to live out our own time with a huge part of our own future and its possibilities taken away

And alas - there are no right words - nothing we can say is ever enough to ease the pain - but I guess knowing other's have been there or are there does help - though heaven knows we never want anyone else to know what it feels like

Loves of love and hugs Tawney

Dec

Don't want to like that you are upset @Zoe7 but just letting you know I'm here for a bit longer too. Have you got a grounding activity you can do? I'm not sure what helps right now. Is giving your fur baby a big hug helpful

@Former-Member @Former-Member

I know the thoughts will pass but they are so raw and intrusive before that. It's the physical reactions that are more difficult to control - shaking, nausea, tightness in the chest, headache, stomach pain, rapid breathing followed by dizziness.

Still in the early stages of identifying major triggers and the little things that you don't expect really throw me. Much easier to prepare when you know what's coming! Also very slow going re:desensitisation - haven't even touched the surface yet. I know it will take time but there are days when I don't think there is time!

You'll get there @Zoe7. I know what you mean about feeling like it all takes too long and wondering if there is time. But I feel the hope you have that it can get better and it seems like you have great support which gives you so much confidence that you can get passed this. I remember in the early days the things that triggered me seem really strange now but I didn't have the trauma that it sounds like you've had. Mine was a little different. I hope you can work through it tonight. Have you taken sleep meds yet, maybe they'll help. Remember a day at a time and baby steps will get you where you want to be. It will happen and there is a better life for you ahead. 💜🤗💐

@Zoe7 I'm falling asleep now, I hope it finds you soon. @Former-Member grounding is a great idea. It's helped me before to drop that heightened emotional response enough.

Goodnight to you both 💤

@Former-Member

Doesn't matter what type or level of trauma each person has - there are not hierarchies when it comes to pain. Yours is just as valid and as real as mine - just different.

My major hurdle is how deep, long lasting and complex over time I have been traumatised by different 'events'. The more work I do on this, the more I see and feel and the harder it becomes to put into little boxes and file away. It takes all my energy to cope with 'not feeling' when I become so overwhelmed to protect myself - then I start to shut everything out to survive. Anything that brings me out of that personal solitude (when I don't have the support around) leads me down the dark path. Very difficult to deal with - worse dealing with on my own.