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Sleeping too much

Unknown userMember29 May 2016, 2:06 pm AEST

Sleeping too much

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In response to: Sleeping too much

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 10:29 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Hi @utopia 💕

Glad you're on the mend ... you have been on my mind.

We are in a lull at the moment. Heading overseas shortly, but I have time to put the house in order-ish and get us packed. We have a family inheritance property overseas that all the family use as a home base when we are travelling. Upkeep is low-cost so it saves big-time on accommodation, and keeps us all bilingual .... just need to put airfares together to get over there, then our cost of living is lower than here ..... ✅

Have Internet ..... will use .... 😊

We borrow a car and go travelling from there - this time headed for my ancestral lands .... UK. Have Austrian heritage too, but that got disconnected with war fall-out .... 😔

D3 got over the bar to graduate high school, but needs to complete TAFE Certs for uni entry status .... on zero motivation ..... the school teachers are still calling her back in to work at school so she gets it done .... so glad .... I have had it with pushing that truck uphill .... so that takes it off my case .... and will hopefully get it done and dusted so she has something to show for all the hard work and trials she has been thru to get here ..... ✅

She will take a gap year next year. S2 is still in uni, but it means if WH has a major health collapse we're in a better position to cope with it. I won't be conflicted about trying to get D3 to school. Don't worry, she won't sit idle .... that's not our way.

In our "perfect storm" tradition, her last TAFE assessment has fallen onto the morning of the day we fly out ..... of course ❤

In response to: Sleeping too much

DecadianSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 10:36 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Hi @BlueBay@Former-Member@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Kurra and many others

The funeral has left me exhausted - I feel really wiped out - not because of the funeral - although it was very hard on my spine - and emotional draining

Seeing TS there was tough - and to see her glaring at me - with so much spite - I have no idea what motivates that woman and I am so glad I am quite different

My dd rang me last night - and asked me how I was - it was a good conversation and she said that TS had rung her on Sunday and said - "Oh - btw - Auntie died last night" I told dd that I was glad she had let me know or I would have found out on Facebook which would have been awful - I am in touch with my cousin often but that day I had not been on Facebook for whatever reason - so about TS

Whatever motivates her is something dark and venomous - I saw it when she was a baby - I think she had time with our mother and my bro and I were at school all the time and she wanted the world to herself and thought she got it - but she has never been in charge of me and that must eat her up

If anything - when I saw TS's clothes I thought they were lovely - I could not wear clothes like that - high heels are needed and my spine would not allow that - it would make life worse for me - but she did look good and that was my first thought

Anyway - there was nothing to stop TS talking to me - she was with her family and I was alone

This thought bugs me a little - although I have always coped alone - never been afraid to be alone, travel alone, live alone - even went to my cousin's funeral interstate alone - I found being alone at the funeral really heart-breaking - I saw how close my cousins were and know I am part of my father's family - but not my own - and this is a really hard thought

So I have been really tired since - and heart-sore - TS will never win a battle with someone who is not fighting back - and now - in public - within our extended family - I ignored her - it was like declaring war I guess - and I am exhausted.

It will pass - I am sure - but that filthy glare I got was scary - not that she can hurt me - but that she is like that - eek - what is she like inside? Horrible thought

I would never want to change places with her -

So over the last few days I have not really wanted to say much - but the conversation I had with dd last night was fine - but afterwards I wondered if my youngest aunt is still alive - would anyone tell me? I shall have to give her a phone call and see if she is okay

And I lost the cross my middle uncle gave me years ago - this I am sorry about - it may be somewhere in the house and will turn up - but the chain broke - and I don't know when and I have been out of the house a few times

Some things just happen

Decadian

In response to: Sleeping too much

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 10:47 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

@Decadian. Sounds like this TS is a very angry woman who can't let go. That must eat at her insides some time. But you are right. She cannot win the war if you are not willing to fight.
Well done for staying true to your inner self - & not sinking to her level.
I'm sorry that you are hurting and feeling isolated from this part of your family. That sounds like it would be hard to cope with.
Fingers crossed that the cross your uncle gave you will show up. Most likely when you're looking for something else.
Sending you my love & I hope over the coming days, your emotions will settle down a bit.
♥♥

In response to: Sleeping too much

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 10:51 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

@Faith-and-Hope. Well done to your daughter for passing. And it must be a huge relief to have the teachers niw be the ones to push her to finish the TAFE work.
When do you get to go on holiday? I'm assuming it's soon. Do you catch up with ither family while you are there? It sounds truly wonderful and just what you all need.

In response to: Re: Sleeping too much

DecadianSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 11:08 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Thanks @utopia

I am praying my cross will turn up - it either will or it won't but although it has sentimental value - it is only an ornamenment and my uncles has given me many things - most of all his love - which is that of an older brother - he has always been in my life

You are right - TS is fighting an internal war - it would be horrible to be her - I am so glad I am not - how dark it must be inside her - and how terrible to see the world through eyes that are clouded with whatever shadows fill her mind

There was something brilliant said in M*A*S*H once - when someone said "What if everyone refused to fight in the war - what would we have then?" - and someone replied "Peace"

So be it - most of the time I am at peace - but TS finds a crack - but if she was feeling ugly that I did not speak to her - then what was wrong with her?

Oh well - I will never sink to her level -

I will recover from all of this - it is always hard on me when someone I care about dies - I hope that everyone is - I can't know if I feel things more because every funeral brings my son's funeral back - there are times when I really think that was such a defining point in my life all other deaths come back to mind and I am overwhelmed - and I have no doubt other people experience this too - but as upset as I get sometimes I never pull away from it - being upset or worse is a natural part of life

But I am writing today and this is a good thing

Decadian

In response to: Sleeping too much

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 11:14 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Thanks @utopia

Leaving mid next month ..... not far off ....

Yes, have family there.

I get a rest when we go .... the local restaurants serve cheap, healthy food, so WH doesn't need me cook his lunch, but he will issue the same exacting instructions to the restaurant staff .... lol ....

Housekeeping requirements are much lower.

I walk steep hills in the neighbourhood there .... and there is a huge green park not far from where we stay. All the distractions are good .... will miss D1 tho .... she often walked with me. D3 will grow into it, but she's not there yet.

Have a gentle day .... ❤

@Decadian

Keep working TS out of your thoughts .... this is where her venom is having an effect even when she's not there ..... shrink her and her high heels down to Thumbelina size in your mind ..... put her on a leaf-boat ..... and let her drift off down-stream. Replace her in your thoughts with something that beings you joy instead .....

Heart-huggles ..... ❤💐💕

In response to: Re: Sleeping too much

DecadianSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 11:38 am AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I am in the process of shrinking TS down - but not so far I will not be prepared for the next acid attack - and it will be around no doubt

But having dealt with that one - the next will be easier and then the next easier still - but yes - it is interesting that my thoughts toward her were pleasant when she was reading the scripture - and after the event I am so glad I did not speak to her

But I can see her going down the gutter in her perfectly arranged outfit and high heels - my middle uncle said to me once that she is flawed inside and would die rather than ask my help - yet the truth is if she was pleasant - I would help - but she doesn't want my help so she is missing out

So that miniturised high-heeled control freak with her perfect life is going down the gargler - I don't have to do anything - gradually the nasty feeling will wash away - and I already remember the funeral was beautiful - and there have been so many through the years

Decadian

In response to: Sleeping too much

DecadianSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 12:37 pm AEDT

Re: Sleeping too much

Aw @Former-Member - of course you can have lighter moments - even good days - even though your daughter has died - you don't have to feel miserable all the time - that is not the way the world works at all

All your unhappiness - all your grief - your sorrow - your terrible loss - is a major hurdle to over-come - and is normal and natural - but you are not meant to be there forever - and it doesn't mean you loved your daughter any less if you find you have better moments, good moments, better days, good weeks - and you will find in time that you can go for a long time without the terrible weight of her death

I have heard people say - your friend, husband, wife, parents, child - would not want you to cry that they have died - well - I think I would feel pretty terrible if no one cried or grieved my death - but I would not expect them to grieve forever -

30 years would be a long time to feel unhappy - I remember laughing with one of my students a couple of weeks after my son died - and I wrote a humerous short story - and I asked "How can I do this?"

It's normal - let the grief run it's course - have your blessed moments when they occur - you will still have your unhappy times - about everything

It has to be the worst thing to have our child die - I think it's one of the most important things that ever happens to us - it changes our lives

But we don't stay there forever - it is our life - and we use our experiences to help others

Many hugs @Former-Member

Many, many hugs

Decadian

In response to: Sleeping too much

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 12:42 pm AEDT