Sleeping too much

I dont feel comfortable in that genre ...I'm too classically based and generally shy .. lots & lots of Bach ..see musical theatre as a bit show-offy

I asked my son tonight and he said that he doesnt care .. he had tried both the companies I emailed and then pulled out ... so I pick him up again and find something different ...

but then i thought re self care .. he has had his opportunities ..it might be fun & interesting .. good for me .. to have to get into costuming and stage work .. only ever done concert operas til now ..

😊 .... @Former-Member

Woke up having dozed off .... but might settle back in (light off this time) and respond properly tomorrow ..... G'night you two ....

💗💕💤

Dont give black dog the upper hand. @Former-Member

Keep up some of your music .. @Former-Membermaybe it can play a bigger part again.

Yay re decluttering ... I still got a few piles and bits laying around .. dont want to make it perfect cos then its time to go ... good to keep just a bit of mess around ... so you got something to do tomorrow.

I am not sure of the story of your family of origin, but with so many suffering from times of ill health .. I am sure you are all Aussie battlers par excellence. Conditions here in Oz have been tough .. not with world wars but other challenges .. it bred tough angry people ... I am sure your family's anger belongs to them and not you ... You've worked hard and loved hard ... thats enough. I got the Irish in me too ... cept that dad died early so I didnt get the culture of it .. just the godstuff.. they dumped in orphanage as bub .. too bloody scared of the priests ... and little leprachauns.

Bev A's gallery is interesting just down the road from an old art deco theatre. I've beeen to exhibitions with her and seen her paintings .. bright and cheery ... but different to the books.

@Faith-and-Hope I am reading "The Last Painting of Sara de Vos". You'd love it. It is set in Holland, Sydney and NY, with lots of old painting techniques. On the first page was a village my mother lived in for a while .. and cos uncle was a painter .. and sat for him .. and hung out Montsalvat, been life model and all that.. I love the arts ... not just music.

😊💜 .... Morning @Former-Member .... presuming you're still asleep tho ....

Answering you from last night .... psychology has always interested me. I considered studying it at one stage, but what do we know at 17 when we are just out of High School and trying to work out what we want to study at uni, if the option is a reality for us .... ? I recognised a few things at the time ...

I was too young and inexperienced at life to feel ready to commit to studying a subject that was so deep and influential, with the view to helping people in life circumstances that were completely foreign to my lived experiences.

🎨 .... Art was a passion that was calling me .... and I'm sure you will believe me when I say that there is a world of psychology in natural existence within the study of art .... although that statement can probably be applied to almost any field of study, and there would be units under a variety of different names which study the history and psychology of architecture, business studies, teaching, nursing, engineering, journalism, etc ....

I am strongly empathetic, and at 17yo, how do you learn to protect your core ... develop the self-protection skills to defend yourself against becoming overwhelmed or lost in your engagement with such a potent, and patient-based field of study ..... I studied teaching for a while, and struggled with wanting to engage with the life circumstances of students who were so troubled in their home environments and inner worlds as to not be able to engage freely with their learning opportunities. Nursing would have been the same, I think .... take my hat off to you as a nurse .... ❣

Anyway ... stumbled across the Inner Family Systems model while trying to work out where WH had gone inside himself ... and how to try to reach him when the issues were so overwhelming, but being mistaken for a successful life change. Was also encouraged to learn as much as I could about e.d.'s by support services ..... cos you've gotta arm yourself against this thing when it's in your environment, and had to work out how to arm the kids as well .... 😔

IFS sort of led into DID .... and there's stuff online that gives pretty intense insight into it ..... but would caution you that it might be triggering for you. From what I have understood, you need support to manage change in these sort of circumstances, but it's clear you already know that .... I will say that it's an amazing coping strategy, and many people who work out a "deal" in DID situations are happy to live their "alternate lifestyle" in a shared "body corporate" mentality .... but it comes from a place of appreciation for all the parts that make up the whole, and a re-assimilation of negative-thinking personas .... 🌷💜 .... the foster-teens scenario sorta fits with that ... and that is my lateral-thinking visual processing happening there .... I think easily in systems, types, models ... there is a strong correlation between art and science .... 🎨💡🔬🔑💕

You are a treasure of interest, experiences, and wisdom @Appleblossom ..... hard-won all of it ....

The book sounds interesting, and it obviously has you captivated ... I will hunt down a copy for our next trip away ... it's when we are travelling that I get the head-space to bury myself in books ... otherwise have to remain vigilant in my circumstances, for leprechaun-teens as much ....

We have access to family property overseas, which gives us a base to travel from once we've managed to get ourselves there .... have generally gone in recent years when one baby dragon or another has graduated .... helps to get their wings on to see a bit more of the wider world .... and it's one reason we spent the best part of thirty years in 14hrs/day 7days/week working life ....to afford the schools and the travel opportunities. Rags to riches story, but we have looked out for others all the way through, and still do ... despite the obvious current set-backs.

So yeah @Former-Member, a travel opportunity is resting on D3's graduation too .... intended as a massive carrot rather than a pressure .... but y' don't get one without the other either .... it's what makes the carrot a carrot .... and WH has a more positive and distracted focus when we travel, which helps to spread the emotional fall-out. The Regiemn travels with us and takes up a huge part of the view :face_with_rolling_eyes: ... and has led to some very bizarre circumstances .... but that's just life with The Regimen .... no matter where its operating.

in saying that, I am also worried .... don't know how thin the ice is that he is travelling on .... and how we would handle a medical crisis if it arose on foreign soil .... we've got a leap of faith up-coming with that one .... but then daily life is a walk of faith anyway ....

If no red flags are waving in the dr's face before we leave .... then I guess we just step out anyway ....

At least we have extended family in our base-camp there .... and extended family here would be on the next plane out if anything happened .... in fact a nearest and dearest is planning to be over there during part of that time.

Hi @BlueBay .... 💜

@Former-Member was asking about something we had been discussing on her dissociative thread ....

Is it DID you want to know more about ?

Or Inner Family Systems ?

There was so much in that last post .... perhaps if you give me some key words I can work out what might help you to understand better.

Hi @Former-Member

Just posted to you on another thread .... 😊

There may be a very real risk of adrenal collapse, or that he has weakened his heart muscle, or that his blood pressure can fall too low .... I understand that none of these things is measurable unless we have prior warning signs .... ahead of a diagnosis and full measure of where his health is actiually at ....

It's about knowing how hard he is pushing those boundaries .... but in his denial state and need to disguise what he is doing, he is not being truthful with dr's, and he is sourcing different medical support for injuries ... so nobody actually has his full profile ....

And the law protects him until he collapses or behaves in a way that can justify over-riding his personal choices.

A lot of the warning signs are very subtle, or can be attributed to other things .... very scary ....

Helps to understand S2 and D3's behaviours too .... they have had to learn to disengage, but still live in the same envirompnment, with someone who seems to be their dad sometimes, and other times is like a complete stranger who is being difficult through to outright obnoxious .... and they love him so much .... we all do .... 😔

*** Sorry ...need to balance that out .... 💜💜💜

He may be nowhere near collapse .... without diagnosis and a full awareness under a doctor specialising in e.d.'s we can't get an accurate reading on where his health is at. We can't stop living while we sit and wait for Tis to play out .... it's been going for around five years now .... and the denial stage is apparently 7 years duration on average ... part of the struggle is being able to disengage from all the "what if's" that can tie you up in knots and affect your own mental health ...