Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Yeah ... that sucks @Ceebubbles .... and I know how it feels ....

I had to learn to work together with then-toxic in-laws .... but generally people are that way because they are emotionally damaged, or have only witnessed passive-aggressive power-play controlled relationships instead of ones based on love, or at least, mutual respect ....

If it's any consolation, my in-laws have generally exchanged toxic relationships for the mutual respect ones .... don't know that they can trust / reach far enough to attain love-based relationships .... but my kids have them ....

Cycle broken on our home-front at least ..... ✅

Love is the more / most powerful force ❣

🌷

@Ceebubbles

If it's any help, my fall-back with difficult relationships is to remain polite - nothing more, nothing less .... dealing quite mechanically with any interactions that take place .... please ....thank you .... making requests .... giving answers .... smiling only ever if I feel like it with a tight, polite smile ..... and they might not like it, but nobody can actually fault you over it ....

That's how I made my way forward.

They eventually decided that the games weren't achieving anything, and they witnessed the joy in the close, loving relationships I had with others .... and progressively melted. They wanted what I had, which I wasn't making available to them.

The more they gave genuinely, the more I gave genuinely in return, but quickly put politeness barriers back up at the first sign of any monkey business .... they learned through trial and error.

We were in a family business together, so there was no clean break available, or I would have taken it ....

Unfortunately my hubby's illness has blurred the lines again, and until he is diagnosed and treated, we are treading water in a very uncomfortable dynamic .... but at least his family have become worried about him too ....

It's all that background history of dysfunction that has contributed to his current state of illness ... blindsided by it .... but that's what we've got ....

Take courage. Soldier on. There are joys along the way, if not in this moment, and nothing stays the same ....

🌷💕

Thank you @Ceebubbles 😊❣

These Sane forums have been an absolute God-send ..... think I would be climbing the walls by now without the ability to jump on here and chat with everybody.

It's a sanctuary, for sure. Hope you're finding that too ....

💐💕💐💕💐💕

Thanks @Ceebubbles 😊

My outlook on life has been fed and watered by some beautiful souls ....

There are some amazing, amazing recovery stories here in the forums .... especially on the Lived Experience side ..... walking amongst some Titans there ..... very humbling and educational to say the least .... especially the level of compassion engendered.

@Former-Member

Can I join in with the sticky date pudding??

Yum!

How are you all tonight? Ive been off for a little while while working things out in my little life......

I'll be happy to run across the road and order a flat white for you and me okay??