@soul I lol'ed at your capitals comment and came in here to tell you, but now I see there's been a whole bunch of chat tonight about all the worries you @Determined and @Anony18 are currently facing and it seems a bitoout of place now.
I just skimmed through what had been said, it Kind of felt like I was intruding when I was reading it all. I do see so much of what I have been through in your words @soul, I am so thankful I am in a different space now. That I have come to a level of understanding and acceptance that now satisfies me with all those things you mention are still bothering you. That to me, should tell you there is a place you can finally reach, what I can't tell you is how you can reach there. Because what helped me may not necessarily be the same as what works for you.
All I can say is for me it was a matter of keep reading, keep understanding and above all forgive myself. Forgive myself for allowing things that in my heart and soul I knew were red flags, but I wanted to help so badly I ignored everything and soldiered on.
Could I turn back the clock, there would be no sympathy from me.. there would be a "NO! This is enough I'm going. You work this out by yourself I'm gone."
I forgive myself for not doing that now, because I had to try my hardest before I got to that point of realisation. Then, I had to get to the point of actually accepting that. I don't know the short cuts, I'm not even sure there are any shortcuts, but I do know that acceptance can and will happen for you at some point somewhere.
@Determinedyou are a wonderful man and you restore my faith in men. My partner also does, he is the most kind, caring and considerate man I have ever met, you seem to be born of the same ilk. You are a truly caring and interesting man and it is a privilege to know (of) you. Thank you for being a part of this forum with me, with us.
@Anony18 you face a huge decision until things are resolved. I feel so sorry that you are being taken advantage of. Because I can see it no other way than that. If it is some big family crisis or some other kind of crisis, as your intuition is alerting, he should tell you not leave you hanging like this. It is unfair and uncalled for and it is only your deep loyalty and commitment to what you feel is "right" that is keeping you waiting patiently for him to wake up to himself. It's both an admiral, and possibly self defeating quality you possess. I too possesses this gift/curse .So I see myself in you when I read the words you are typing regarding your stoic committment and understanding of your delimma. Good luck with it all and may he wake up tomorrow with some kind of realisation that benefits you.
Sorry I could not help but pour out what I was thinking, I hope it will not be seen as intrusive, I do care for you all and wish I had a magic wand to wipe away the troubles you are all facing.
Sincerely,
Spooky.
