Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Oh the amount of posts whilst I have been away. Will have to read through them slowly. But in meantime....HELLO TO ALL

@Former-Member - no have not had a chat yet because one of us needs to reach out. Have a feeling it will end up being me. I know he is sick and whilst he recovers it is like the end of the world. He did want to be left to recover in peace so that is what one will give him. I will reach out soon enough if I don't hear. See how he is feeling physically and if we are ok. Arrange a catch up soon enough and then have the chat then. I just noticed something as I reflect. It dawned on me and not sure how self aware he is. But when he is pissed off or sick/tired/grumpy, a small push the wrong way and he explodes and lashes out. I think the one time he didn't lash out was when I was chasing him and gave him the "you did this to upset me etc and coated it with slight sillyness and a silly sign off from me". Oh how one has to be gentle yet firm with him. Irregardless I have to see him. His 50 kgs of stuff from overseas is with me all in boxes in my house which I am sure he would want them at some point.

On a side note - tennis was amazing! So needed it to help lift my spirits. Of course unsure how tomorrow will turn out but that is tomorrow's issues. Right now is right now.

@Faith-and-Hope

Interesting take on mindfullness. It's never appealed to me, largely because of the "empty, your mind" style of approach often taken, but I like the way that you see it more as grounding yourself in where and when you are.

I've never experienced panic attacks myself (have seen others with them) but after dealing with a series of crisis situations, I have trouble with the "adreneline rush" flight-or-fight response triggering too easily, over minor crises that really don't justify the response. When I catch myself over reacting, it helps me to mentally "step back" and assess the actual situation. I mean, a last minute hiccup in lunch plans doesn't really pose any threat to me, so it's fairly straightforward convincing my brain chemistry to settle down. 😄 In an actual crisis, the adreneline rush has a place, but it drains all the body's energy reserves (literally... the adreneline frees up body stores of glucose and fat (ketones)) so it can have the backlash of leaving you really tired afterwards... so really isn't worth it in a non-threatening situation!

Hi @MissSlytherin .... 😊💕 .... and welcome to Hot Chocolate Anyone ? ....

@Smc .... I can relate to what you are saying about that over-reactivity, and I am having to call, not only myself, but my kids over it too. It is a natural extension of the trauma we have been / are experiencing with my hubby's illness on it's emotional dysfunction side .... even standing witness to the punitive physical elements of the eating disorder contributes to that stress.

I guess it also raises awareness that what we are experiencing in terms of our body system creating a replay loop of over-reaction, is a very minor version of what PTSD produces in others who have suffered a far greater level of trauma.

Our experiences with my hubby's mental illness has certainly given us a healthy respect for what other families are going through.

💜

May be of interest to those of you who have suffered from trauma.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/insight/article/2017/03/21/psychologists-trauma-recovery

Short post at the moment. Wrong device for more but while I think of it... oh and gooood morning all 🙂

@Faith-and-Hope yes. You did a far better post to illustrate by brevity in the focus/empty mind delineation. I too use the technique close to how you do. Unfortunately I have been in CBT mode so long I have no examples to draw from. A side effect of bringing myself out of deep trauma but your examples describe the process perfectly. Thankyou.

Can it be left here too? i havent had time to get to it yet @NikNik and @Faith-and-Hope

Thanks @soul for posting that link to the trauma recovery article. I just had a read of it, and agree with most of what was said there. Definitely worth reading.

Hi also to @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Smc @MissSlytherin

Sherry xx