Self Harm

@Former-Member thinking about you ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

❤️ @Angels333

Thank you. Somewhat tired of late. 😔

Have an awesome day.

Thanks @Former-Member . I was out all day at work placement. I'm exhausted after working last night and then a long drive 1hr to placement

XOXO ANGELS333

Ahh that does sound tiring @Angels333

I find driving fatigues me.
I hope you get to rest up now. 🙂

Cooking dinner soon @Former-Member

@Molliex @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @MDT @TAB @Adge @eth @Former-Member

Hey all. It's been quiet on the forum for me the last few days, not sure if I'm getting all the notifications.

No SH this week so far it has been a struggle.

My father is very sick and I have had a not so great relationship with him, I don't know how to manage my emotions around this. I have trauma memories that I can't be certain are real. It's always been a scary and emotional thing for me. I didn’t speak to him for 7 years over this .... I really don't know what is real or unreal. It's at the crux if my mental illness...

Feeling so lonely with this

XOXO ANGELS333

Sorry to hear that @Angels333 yes think it has been quiet on here ? not sure

Firstly @Angels333 great job on the no SH this week - that is a massive achievement Hon 👍

As for yyour relationship with your father and the memories you have - what is it you want Hon? Do you want to see him and if so can you get past those memories to do that and possibly say goodbye. I do know it is a very hard place to be - on one hand you do not know if what you are remembering is real but you also know that you had a breakdown in the relationship and for you that was for very real reasons. I do not have any answers but I would ask you how you would feel if you did not see or speak to him and that was the last chance you had. It is a super hard one though with all that you have endured so I would say whatever decision you make, make it with the knowledge you have and not with what you think may be the case - then you can move forward knowing you are doing what is right for you whatever you decide.

Sending you so much love and extra hugs because I can very much hear you are super struggling with all of this 💚💛💜💙🧡

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply @Zoe7 . My anxiety is so high every decision seems so hard, I think I'll take a med for the anxiety tonight. As for my father, it turns out my mother was catastrophising when she said he needed open hear quad bypass... truth is he can't have the operation as his lungs are bad but he has a fair few years left in him.

As for my relationship with him, I'll continue to keep him at arms distance.

How are you my friend?

XOXO ANGELS333

Hey @Angels333 It seems you do not have to make any of those hard decisions right now and that is a great thing for you. If you need that little extra help with your anxiety then do what you have to do. Anxiety is so hard to live with and takes over every thought and action when it is that high so I do not blame you for needing to help yourself

I am very tired but have been this way for sometime - struggling to get through but still pushing on. It is a super busy time at work but it has to be done so all I can do is get stuck into it. Trying to get all the housework out of the way tonight so I can spend the majority of the weekend on work (and sleep).